# And the dumbest line of the movie is...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [July 14, 2008, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498 "2008-07-14T21:04:36Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/41 "2008-07-15T13:25:57Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham]
I love the film, but the original **Star Wars** has lines that still make me cringe. As Harrison Ford was supposed to have said to George Lucas: “George, you can \* write\* dialogue like this, but you can’t _say_ it!”
[/QUOTE]
Citing the prequels is almost like shooting fish in a barrel, but:
“I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is… _soft_ and _smooth_.”
Another (nonlucasian) nominee:
“He shouldn’t be alive. This vexes me. I am terribly vexed.”
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### Author:  [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/42 "2008-07-15T13:42:51Z")
From _Heat_ when Pacino finds his wife having an affair, one of the wife’s retorts is
> [@](#):
>
> I have to demean myself with Ralph just to get closure with you
When I first heard that line delivered in the context of the whole scene I nearly fell outta my seat.
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### Author:  [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/43 "2008-07-15T13:50:12Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk]
Her response is still jarring in its stupidity, though.
[/QUOTE]
No it’s not. It’s a joke based on the well-known bit of “wisdom” that relationships based on sex don’t work. I don’t see anything odd or jarring or bad about it at all, especially if you find the rest of the movie unremarkable.
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### Author:  [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/44 "2008-07-15T13:55:25Z")
[QUOTE=Frostillicus]
“You had me at hello.”
[/QUOTE]
Yes. But now because everyone knows that line, it can be used quite effectively in a meeting when a coworker interrupts, or goes on and on about something that no one else wants to hear about.
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### Author:  [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/45 "2008-07-15T14:19:19Z")
[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]
“I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is… _soft_ and _smooth_.”
[/QUOTE]
I am on a mission about this. That is not bad dialogue. That is great dialogue. He has spent most of his life living as what is practically a monk, and is now trying to hit on the chick he has been in love with since he was 5. He isn’t going to be fucking Shakespeare, he is going to say something awkward and confusing and stupid. It is actually one of the few movies that have realistic dialogue in that situation.
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### Author:  [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/46 "2008-07-15T14:44:34Z")
[QUOTE=wolfman]
I am on a mission about this. That is not bad dialogue. That is great dialogue. He has spent most of his life living as what is practically a monk, and is now trying to hit on the chick he has been in love with since he was 5. He isn’t going to be fucking Shakespeare, he is going to say something awkward and confusing and stupid. It is actually one of the few movies that have realistic dialogue in that situation.
[/QUOTE]
A clever way to delude yourself into stomaching that scene (wish I would’ve thought of it), but I _really_ don’t think Lucas is that nuanced.
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### Author:  [@arseNal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arseNal)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/47 "2008-07-15T15:04:36Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow]
For me, though, Speed gets a pass because it has one of the funniest lines of 1994:
[/QUOTE]
There’s another line in Speed that I think is hilarious. It’s one of the times on the bus when things are getting heated between the passengers. Keanu Reeves has taken to calling one large fellow “Gigantor,” so during this scene one of the other passengers basically says, “Oh, you’re a real tough guy, Gigantor, why don’t we step outside”? Not only does someone challenge a man twice their size to “step outside” on a moving bus, I always think it’s added giggles when someone uses a nickname that someone else has recently coined. I don’t know why, but I do.
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### Author:  [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/48 "2008-07-15T15:14:26Z")
Some lines are so bad, they’re awesome. Like from _They Live_: “I came here to kick ass and chew gum… And I’m all outta bubblegum!”
I quite like _Independence Day_. Sure the plot has several large holes barely covered over with Saran Wrap (“Luckily for us, I’ve determined that these aliens who communicate telepathically and whose radio signals I only decoded until 24 hours ago, somehow use TCP/IP networking and MacOS so I can upload and execute this here virus from my notebook”), but as a shoot-em-up action movie, it’s terrific. So help me, I even the President’s morale-stirring speech cobbled together from _Henry V_, Dylan Thomas and other sources. Not to mention having an alien abductee who’s been anally probed deliver the first knockout punch as he says, “Hello, boys! Remember me? I’m _baa-a-ck!_”
Come on, you gotta like it! At least after a few highballs!
For me, the really unbearable lines are the ones that are earnestly delivered loads of bollocks. (If bollocks come in loads… I’m really not sure of the correct usage there.) I didn’t care much for the movie _Forrest Gump_ overall (I still can’t believe _The Shawshank Redemption_ didn’t wipe the floor with it for Best Picture), but the phrase “Life is like a box of chocolates… You never know what you’re gonna get” just drives me up the wall. I just can’t stand that kind of passiveness in a philosophy of life. Plus, most boxes of assorted chocolates come with a little map just so you _do_ know what you’re getting. Gaaah!
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/49 "2008-07-15T15:24:52Z")
McCoy: “Are you OK, Jim? How do you feel?”
Kirk: “I feel… yeah. I feel yeah.”
:smack: :smack: :smack:
Ruined a perfect moment at the end of ST:II.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/50 "2008-07-15T15:28:34Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]
McCoy: “Are you OK, Jim? How do you feel?”
Kirk: “I feel… yeah. I feel yeah.”
:smack: :smack: :smack:
Ruined a perfect moment at the end of ST:II.
[/QUOTE]
Huh? I think you misheard “young.”
“No one tosses a dwarf.”
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### Author:  [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/51 "2008-07-15T15:31:10Z")
[QUOTE=robardin]
Some lines are so bad, they’re awesome. Like from _They Live_: “I came here to kick ass and chew gum… And I’m all outta bubblegum!”…
[/QUOTE]
See spoiler box, post #35
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/52 "2008-07-15T15:55:51Z")
[QUOTE=tdn]
Huh? I think you misheard “young.”
[/QUOTE]
Yep. The line is “Young … I feel _young_.”
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/53 "2008-07-15T15:58:33Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow]
Yep. The line is “Young … I feel _young_.”
[/QUOTE]
Yeah.
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/54 "2008-07-15T15:59:11Z")
No, “young”!
😉
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### Author:  [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/55 "2008-07-15T16:14:18Z")
[QUOTE=Omniscient]
_The Matrix_ was a very good movie that got a little over-rated and a little spoiled by hype and the existence of the sequels. However it’s just not fair to say that the Sci-Fi premise is dumb. All Sci-Fi/Fantasy movies require the suspension of disbelief. Some of the premises are really strained and some create too many contradictions to work but the Humans as batteries isn’t in that category.
[/QUOTE]
Yes, it is. It’s basic physics that you get less useful energy feeding food to a human and tapping his energy than you’d get by just burning the food directly. What makes the stupidity absolutely unforgiveable is that it would take about ten seconds to think of something that _does_ make sense (the Matrix uses some of the processing power of all those human brains).
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### Author:  [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/56 "2008-07-15T16:33:15Z")
[QUOTE=Steve MB]
Yes, it is. It’s basic physics that you get less useful energy feeding food to a human and tapping his energy than you’d get by just burning the food directly. What makes the stupidity absolutely unforgiveable is that it would take about ten seconds to think of something that _does_ make sense (the Matrix uses some of the processing power of all those human brains).
[/QUOTE]
They strongly imply that they aren’t just harvesting human energy with no logical reason or explanation. Agent Smith explains how giving the humans a perfect virtual societ (a previous version of the Matrix) made them less useful, because humans NEEDED the chaos and destruction and evil of 20th century society to be productive.
Kind of sounds like they’re enslaving humans for something other than just body-heat energy harvesting, to me.
In fact, your explanation doesn’t make any sense at all. The only reason the Matrix exists at all is to be a prison for humans. So your explanation would basically be “we’re enslaving humans so we can use their brains to power the matrix, so that we can enslave humans” which is a little too circular for my taste.
Agent Smith pointed out in no uncertain terms that the Matrix existed because it was the way to get the most function from humans. Whatever reason the robots had for enslaving humans, they needed the humans to have stimulated brains and a complex society. I think that part of the plot works brilliantly.
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### Author:  [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/57 "2008-07-15T17:08:27Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier]
They strongly imply that they aren’t just harvesting human energy with no logical reason or explanation. Agent Smith explains how giving the humans a perfect virtual societ (a previous version of the Matrix) made them less useful, because humans NEEDED the chaos and destruction and evil of 20th century society to be productive.
Kind of sounds like they’re enslaving humans for something other than just body-heat energy harvesting, to me.
In fact, your explanation doesn’t make any sense at all. The only reason the Matrix exists at all is to be a prison for humans. So your explanation would basically be “we’re enslaving humans so we can use their brains to power the matrix, so that we can enslave humans” which is a little too circular for my taste.
Agent Smith pointed out in no uncertain terms that the Matrix existed because it was the way to get the most function from humans. Whatever reason the robots had for enslaving humans, they needed the humans to have stimulated brains and a complex society. I think that part of the plot works brilliantly.
[/QUOTE]
Smith was saying that without a realistic environment to “live” in the human would die. You can’t harvest much energy from dead people. Well, you could burn them, which would probably be more efficient than what they actually did, but lets ignore that.
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### Author:  [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/58 "2008-07-15T17:09:51Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham]
As Harrison Ford was supposed to have said to George Lucas: “George, you can \* write\* dialogue like this, but you can’t _say_ it!”
[/QUOTE]
When it some to that particular phenomenon, the one movie that always comes to mind is _Even Cowgirls Get the Blues_. I don’t remember any specific lines, but I do remember thinking, “What horrible dialogue! People just don’t talk like that”.
Maybe some “fans” of that movie can give us some examples.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/59 "2008-07-15T17:56:26Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham]
I love the film, but the original **Star Wars** has lines that still make me cringe. As Harrison Ford was supposed to have said to George Lucas: “George, you can \* write\* dialogue like this, but you can’t _say_ it!”
[/QUOTE]
Jeez, **Cal** , if you’re going to go to the Star Wars well, how could you have missed this one:
Darth Vader: When we last met, I was but a learner. Now I am the master!
Learner? _Learner?_ What the fuck, George? The word is _student!_
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [July 15, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-dumbest-line-of-the-movie-is/456498/60 "2008-07-15T18:00:44Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Jeez, Cal, if you’re going to go to the Star Wars well, how could you have missed this one:
>
> Darth Vader: When we last met, I was but a learner. Now I am the master!
>
> Learner? Learner? What the fuck, George? The word is student!
I wasn’t being exhaustive, by any means. I gave the one that bugged me the most.
YMMV
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