# And the first winner of the Jack Dean Tyler Golden Foreskin award is.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 21, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940 "2001-09-21T02:22:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/1 "2001-09-21T02:22:26Z")
Ladles and Jellyspoons, may I be the first to announce the new winner of the Jack Dean Tyler award for Recto-Cranial inversion? To be awrded the coveted Golden Foreskin, it’s not enough to hold unpopular or even patently stupid positions. It’s not enough to be irritating. No, one must descend into the shadowy realms of lunacy propounded by the late, unlamented Jack Dean Tyler, who felt that the conspiracy to remove forskins would lead to global thermonuclear holocaust! Tonight, we have a winner! Beautiful Model person, the envelope please! :: Rips open envelope :: It’s Curious George! Curious Gerorge, one of the infamous (and aptly named) [Gang of Four](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=88284) has exceeded the bounds of insanity that can be expected on any message board. He’s even exceeded the high standards propounded by his cohorts in the Gang of Four with his masterpiece of paranoid delusions in which Curious proclaimed that the CIA let the WTC disaster happen _because it would help Bush’s popularity ratings_ (over [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=87855)) CG, old bean, your buddies in the Gang have made some damned good attempts at lunacy (Chas E.'s insistance that _President Bush [faked](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56005&pagenumber=2#postid=1621385) his Texas accent because, apparently somehow a Texas accent is so beloved by all Americans that he knew it would win him the election_ came very close to winning) but that thread is so psychotic that only a true disciple of Jack Dean Tyler could have written it! :: hands Curious George a the coveted Golden Foreskin award and a lifetime supply of Tug-Ahoys[sup]tm[/sup] :: Since Curious George doesn’t visit the pit (since people who start Pit threads are as [bad as the WTC terrorists](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56005&pagenumber=3#post=127623)), we hold it here in absentia for him! CG, we are in awe of your grasp of issues, language, the nuances of politics and, above all, the sort of reasoned debate, as well as the wonderful example of obsessive psychosis that [Jack](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=45330) [Dean](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=43031&pagenumber=1) [Tyler](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=44175) made famous! Let’s all give him a hand! Fenris, MC of the first ever Golden Foreskin Awards ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/2 "2001-09-21T02:24:31Z")
😃 And well deserved it is. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/3 "2001-09-21T02:34:31Z")
Let’s not forget his inexplicable [attempt](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=87878) to get us all not to donate blood (in ATMB, yet). Oh, and **Fenris**? > [@](#): > > \*\* > :: hands Curious George a the coveted Golden Foreskin award and a lifetime supply of Tug-Ahoys[sup]tm[/sup] :: > \*\* BWAHAHAHAHAHA! ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/4 "2001-09-21T02:38:24Z")
I know it’s not nice to make fun of sick people, but god_damn_ if mental illness ain’t funny sometimes. Congrats, **george**! ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/5 "2001-09-21T02:50:40Z")
_[aside to the person next to me, while continuing to clap and smile]_ Not only is this Fenris person not as good an emcee as Billy Crystal, he’s not even as good as Whoopie Goldberg.\* [/aside to the person next to me, while continuing to clap and smile]\* ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/6 "2001-09-21T02:52:36Z")
_::stands up and applauds::_ Hey, **Fenris** …is there a runner-up? You know how in beauty pagaents they always name a runner-up that will take over in case the winner is unable to perform his or her duties? Suppose lightning strieks **curious george** and he becomes clear-headed and rational? OIf this happens, obviously he will no longer be able to fulfill the prerequisites necessary for someone holding such a prestigious award. What amazes me is how someone who has been registered here since April 1999 be such a moronic butt-nugget when it comes to how the forums work. My personal favorite **curious george** quote: > [@](#): > > I believe GQ is the only forum on this board where factual evidence is needed for discussion. “Curious” george, indeed. Here is someone who certainly cannot be bothered with the facts. As for his lunatic opinions on President Bush and the possibilities behind the WTC attack, the chap needs to realize that “The X-Files” is an entertainment program, not a documentary. And that to suggest that our president would assist in the murder of thousands of innocent civilians in order to “help his presidency” is beneath contempt. His head must hurt with all those inner demons shrieking at him 24/7. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/7 "2001-09-21T02:54:14Z")
::_nods and smiles at **Milossarian** while silently thinking that he probably didn’t even notice the irony when Bush said the terrorists were out to get us because our leaders were "democratically elected_:: Yay, **Fenris**! ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/8 "2001-09-21T02:55:15Z")
Please, I beg of you, don’t associate foreskin with curious george. I _like_ foreskin. curious george, not so much. So please, if you have an ounce of compassion in you, do not ever mention the beautiful, sexy, scrumptious foreskin in the same sentence as, well, him (since I don’t want to break my own request). Foreskin lovers the world over will thank you. And I thank you. * * * Jeg elsker dig, Thomas ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/9 "2001-09-21T03:10:10Z")
What the heck is a tug-ahoy? ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/10 "2001-09-21T03:10:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shayna \* > \*\* > I _like_ foreskin. > > …the beautiful, sexy, scrumptious foreskin… > \*\* OK, that’s just a _bit_ more than I needed to know. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/11 "2001-09-21T03:16:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monty \* > \*\*What the heck is a tug-ahoy? \*\* OK. Just remember. You asked. [Tag-Ahoy](http://www.tugahoy.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/12 "2001-09-21T03:18:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shayna \* > **I _like_ foreskin.** ::wild aside, but I can’t help myself - ahem:: [overly-excited announcer voice] Do you love foreskin, but don’t get enough in your diet? Try new Kellogg’s _'Skinnies_! Fortified with 8 essential vitamins and minerals, including vitmans K and E! Yes, Kellogg’s _'Skinnies_ a part of your balanced breakfast that doesn’t go flaccid in milk! [/overly-excited announcer voice] Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself this time. As for the OP, the only interaction I’ve had with **curious george** has been what I’ve red in the Pit over the past week. From what I’ve seen, a world class twit deserving of this award. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/13 "2001-09-21T03:19:20Z")
:rolleyes: And one day, I shall learn to type correctly and to preview. Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/14 "2001-09-21T03:19:59Z")
So, **Shayna** reveals hints about some of her sexual dalliances… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d07c76/32.png) [@johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnson)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/15 "2001-09-21T03:26:01Z")
Either that, or she’s revealed herself as JDT’s sock puppet… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/16 "2001-09-21T03:26:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Milossarian \* > \*\*he’s not even as good as Whoopie Goldberg. > \*\* !!! :eek: Why you… :: Fenris suddenly realizes who the _second_ winner will be and starts jotting down notes! :: 😉 😃 **Atreyu** : Probably another member of The Gang of Four would be the runner up…Chas E., I think, given the tedious “El Presidente Jorge” ad infinitum, the “Bill Gates is Satan” threads AND the aforementioned Mind-Controlling Texan Drawl[sup]tm[/sup] discussion! **Shayna** : Sorry, the award’s named in honor of it’s founder. Nothing else would be appropriate. But since this one’s made of gold, it doesn’t bear much in common with…\ the real thing. And somehow the “curious george, not so much” struck me as hysterical. Magnificent use of understatement. \ Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/17 "2001-09-21T03:27:45Z")
Good grief, Arden. The thing actually has a rod inserted into the person’s, ahem, “old man?” For that, you must ask someone to describe the “Ream & Scream” examination to you. I can’t because I’m about to pass out–all the blood has stopped circulating because my legs are crossed in a death lock. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/18 "2001-09-21T03:34:14Z")
I had not read that thread on why the call for blood was unnecessary. Excuse me while I go bang my head against a wall. It gets the bad things out. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/19 "2001-09-21T03:47:21Z")
Not necessary, Monty. I’ve heard of that procedure. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/20 "2001-09-21T04:05:19Z")
**curious george** named himself after a monkey–this was a pretty good indication that logic wasn’t gonna be his strong point. He is a well-deserving recipient of this award, despite the stiff competition. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940.md?page=2)