# And the first winner of the Jack Dean Tyler Golden Foreskin award is.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 21, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940 "2001-09-21T02:22:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/21 "2001-09-21T04:15:26Z")
Huh huh. You said “stiff.” ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/22 "2001-09-21T04:20:33Z")
Personally, I think **gabbyhayes** beat him with one [one rant in GQ](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=86990) (now deleted, but the pertinent portions can be found in the reply by **evilhanz** in that thread. ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/23 "2001-09-21T04:31:10Z")
Lack of brain activity = death…and thus one becomes a stiff. I know what I’m writing. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/24 "2001-09-21T05:17:38Z")
I think this contest has been rigged. Sure, **curious george** is nuttier than Super Sized Snicker Bar, but how soon we forget the true loonies of the world. I have just three words for you: [Long Range Anomalies](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=82431) … I know the tragedies have swayed us toward honoring **C-G** and his raving posts, but please show some respect. Let us at least have a polite gold clap for my hero … **Seethruart**. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/25 "2001-09-21T05:44:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*[Tag-Ahoy](http://www.tugahoy.com/) \*\* :eek: Sweet Holy Moses! ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/26 "2001-09-21T06:09:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Corrado \* > \*\*I had not read that thread on why the call for blood was unnecessary. > > Excuse me while I go bang my head against a wall. It gets the bad things out. \*\* No, **John** , you’re supposed to bang _someone else’s_ head against a wall. Personally, I’d like to nominate **Chas.E** as runner-up, if only for continuing to argue pathetically in a thread that began with him getting an ass-kicking for being a twit. [John Kicks some Ass](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=88284&pagenumber=2) (and since nobody but **Fenris** is willing to have their foreskin gold-plated for an additional award) ;), the runner up prize should be _getting_ your head banged against the wall by the wonderful **John Corrado**! But that’s just my vote. 🙂 (AND KEEP THOSE TUG-AHOY THINGS **AWAY** FROM ME! PLEASE!) -Stil ---
**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/27 "2001-09-21T06:13:24Z")
Why on earth would anybody need two foreskins? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/28 "2001-09-21T06:29:28Z")
You know, it wasn’t until I read [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56005&pagenumber=3#post=127623) (mentioned in the OP) that I realized that one of our loveable Gang Of Four said “Refute the remarks, not the poster.” It took me a good five minutes to recover from the laughing fit that it brought on, especially since I seem to recall that particular poster being very, very guilty of violating that comment on many occasions. But, yeah, Curious George is well deserving of the award. And, is it just me, or are half the people who avoid the Pit also the people for whom the Pit was created? Why, it seems that the only person who avoids the Pit and doesn’t act like an ass is Arnold Winkelreid. ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/29 "2001-09-21T06:46:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stiletto \* > \*\*Personally, I’d like to nominate **Chas.E** as runner-up, > if only for continuing to argue pathetically in a thread that began with him getting an ass-kicking for being a twit. > > [John Kicks some Ass](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=88284&pagenumber=2) > \*\* Do not meddle in the affairs of Moderators, for they are subtle and swift to anger. This is about an off-list communication and you don’t have any clue about what is going on here. Keep your nose out of this one. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/30 "2001-09-21T06:53:26Z")
An off-board communication that [you brought up](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=88284=2), ya freakin’ hypocrite. But even then, **John Corrado** kicked your ass for being an idiot in the recent threads, not for your hyperventilation over Bill Gates. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/31 "2001-09-21T06:55:44Z")
er, [you brought up](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=88284=2) ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/32 "2001-09-21T07:02:25Z")
Which I _obliquely referred to_ as a signal to the mods over matters which you are not aware of. Leave this one alone, you have no business getting involved in this. This is between me and the mods. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/33 "2001-09-21T07:04:06Z")
THEN STOP BRINGING IT UP, DOOFUS! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/34 "2001-09-21T12:15:18Z")
::clapping with a bored look on my face\* and hoping curious would hurry up and make his damn speech so I could get OUT of my corseted sequined evening gown and DARLING matching shoes, which were clearly made for people with only four toes…:: \*picture Hillary Rodham during Bush’s speech last night ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/35 "2001-09-21T12:37:40Z")
**Anth** : The Coveted Golden Foreskin award requires a pattern of behavior, but :eek: :eek: :eek: ! I missed that one. Perhaps we can come up with a special award for the best single psychotic rant? If so, just based on the remaing bits that **evilhanz** responded to, you’ve found a winner! It certainly demands _something_! Maybe a Coveted “Phaedrus’s Goodbye” award? (I’d link to it, but it seems to have been lost. It was the single most psycotic post I’ve ever seen. Ever. Especially the multiple paragraphs of faux(?) Native American phonetics (“yukan watahanl”?). _Has_ it been lost? Anyone know if it’s still around?) **Jack** , Seethroughart is still here?? I thought he was long gone. **Stiletto** : 'taint my foreskin. The award is modeled on JTD’s loving descriptions of his long-lost foreskin, the lack of which destroyed **JACK’S ENTIRE LIFE**! :eek: And Chas is still producing spittle-flecked [rants](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=88284&pagenumber=2). From the Gang of Four thread: \*\* > [@](#): > > And this is the horror of this situation. Tonight, El Presidente said “You’re either with us, or against us.” Everything is pure black or white. You’re either a rabid hawk, or you’re as bad as the terrorists. This is sickening. America is a land of many people with many differing ideas, Bush is essentially declaring war on dissenters in the US. \*\* It’s not that he disagrees with President Bush or his policies. That’s fine and I support his right to do so. It’s not that he completely missed any context of the speech and misquoted the President. (The part of the President’s [speech](http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/09/20/gen.bush.transcript/) that Chas is ranting about was > [@](#): > > And we will pursue nations that provide aid or safe haven to terrorism. Every nation in every region now has a decision to make: Either you are with us or you are with the terrorists. > > From this day forward, any nation that continues to harbor or support terrorism will be regarded by the United States as a hostile regime. Our nation has been put on notice, we’re not immune from attack. But, it’s the trademarked, bile-filled, frothing at the mouth tone (“El Presidente”?!) and the paranoia (“declaring war on dissenters in the US”?!) that completely destroy any legitimate point that he might otherwise make that earned him the semi-coveted Silver Foreskin award. * * * Late Breaking News! * * * A link check during preview brought [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=88284&pagenumber=2) ChasE gem up: \*\* > [@](#): > > You are all cowards, incapable of winning an argument by quality, only by quantity. I win by default.\*\* A declaration of victory based on the moral high ground that includes name-calling! I’m seriously considering that we consider this a tie and take the unprecidented step of awarding a _second_ Coveted Golden Foreskin! Any opinions? Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/36 "2001-09-21T12:38:35Z")
[kicking the ground] Man, I never win _anything_! I’m going home… ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/37 "2001-09-21T12:41:57Z")
Thank you, **Fenris** for this thread. I’ve really been needing a laugh. Also, thank **Arden Ranger** for the Tug-ahoy link. I’m thinking seriously of making photo #7 on the “Applying the Tug-ahoy” page my new desktop. Wouldn’t that be cool? Jess (enjoying her first laugh in over a week) ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/38 "2001-09-21T12:48:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Corrado \* > \*\*I had not read that thread on why the call for blood was unnecessary. > > Excuse me while I go bang my head against a wall. It gets the bad things out. \*\* Didn’t work for me and now I have a hole in my office wall. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/39 "2001-09-21T13:23:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > **A declaration of victory based on the moral high ground that includes name-calling! I’m seriously considering that we consider this a tie and take the unprecidented step of awarding a _second_ Coveted Golden Foreskin! Any opinions?** I second that idea. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/40 "2001-09-21T13:57:59Z")
No, as a member of the Academy I think we should be limited to one winner per event. Remember, Keith Hernandez won a TIED MVP award and they he got sentenced to appear on Seinfeld. That’s just inhuman. Now how do I get this damn cumberbund on straight. And where’s the damn bar? CASH BAR! What kinda cheap banquet is this? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940.md?page=3)