# And the first  winner of the Jack Dean Tyler Golden Foreskin award is....

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [September 21, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940 "2001-09-21T02:22:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 17\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/41 "2001-09-21T15:38:51Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Fenris \*  
> \*\ ***Stiletto** : 'taint my foreskin. The award is modeled on JTD’s loving descriptions of his long-lost foreskin, the lack of which destroyed **JACK’S ENTIRE LIFE**! :eek: \*\*

A collection of links to the insanity of **Jack Dean Tyler** can be found in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=47631). As with a Slurpee, you should be careful not to take in too much too fast, lest you get terrible headaches.

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**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/42 "2001-09-21T15:57:52Z")

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\<sneaks in\>  
\<reads thread, especially **Shayna** ’s posts. [sub]“scrumptious”?!?[/sub] \>  
\<looks down\>  
\<decides to sneak out again\>  
\<leaves quietly\>

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**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/43 "2001-09-21T16:06:22Z")

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Well, until seeing the “my peaceful tower” comment from **cg** , my vote would have gone to **Chronolicht**. However, I now believe that **curious george** deserves to bring home the gold! Congrats!

BTW, has anyone told him about this singular honor that has been bestowed upon him?

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**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/44 "2001-09-21T16:23:21Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \*  
> \*\*  
> [overly-excited announcer voice]
> 
> Do you love foreskin, but don’t get enough in your diet? Try new Kellogg’s _'Skinnies_! Fortified with 8 essential vitamins and minerals, including vitmans K and E! Yes, Kellogg’s _'Skinnies_ a part of your balanced breakfast that doesn’t go flaccid in milk!
> 
> [/overly-excited announcer voice]\*\*

BWAAAHAHAHAHA!! That is TOO hilarious! I definitely don’t get enough foreskin in my diet, but let’s be honest here… can a girl ever get enough? 😉

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Fenris_  
> **And somehow the “curious george, not so much” struck me as hysterical. Magnificent use of understatement. \<applauds\>**

\<bowing\> Thank you, thank you. 😃

> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Spiny Norman_  
> **\<sneaks in\>  
> \<reads thread, especially Shayna’s posts. [sub]“scrumptious”?!?[/sub] \>  
> \<looks down\>  
> \<decides to sneak out again\>  
> \<leaves quietly\>**

\<wishes he was on his way over here\>  
\<curses the distance between us\>  
\<checks calendar and counts the days 'til October 19th\>  
\<sighs\>

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**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/45 "2001-09-21T16:35:47Z")

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\*\*

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Fenris \*  
> \*\ ***Stiletto** : 'taint my foreskin. The award is modeled on JTD’s loving descriptions of his long-lost foreskin, the lack of which destroyed **JACK’S ENTIRE LIFE**! :eek: \*\*\*\*

**Oh. It’s Only a Model.** 😃  
My apologies, **Fenris** , I assumed that you must have used your own. I mean, anybody who’s ever read ANY of JDT’s posts knows that he doesn’t have his.

Though after reading through some of the stuff I hadn’t seen before…I think they didn’t cut nearly enough off of poor Jack. I think he’d be happier with no penis at all. :rolleyes:

-Stil

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/46 "2001-09-21T16:56:51Z")

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Who knows, foreskin and seven beers ago  
curious george might have been rational.  
Now he reminds me of that Far Side deer  
with the big bullseye target on his chest.  
“Bummer of a birthmark”, george.

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**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/47 "2001-09-21T17:00:52Z")

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I try to stay far away from all the political bloodbath threads, so I had no idea about this side of **Chas.E**. The only contact I’ve ever had with him has been in GQ, where his posts about all things photographic are clear, patient and knowledgeable. In those he’s been a model SDMB poster. Try not to tar him as a complete loonytoon based on this one uhh… _extreme_ side of his posting behaviour. I’d hate to see him leave or melt down and get banned.

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/48 "2001-09-21T17:13:42Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> I’d hate to see him leave or melt down and get banned

Oh my, that _would_ be a shame.

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**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/49 "2001-09-21T17:42:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Stiletto \*  
> \*\*]  
> My apologies, **Fenris** , I assumed that you must have used your own. I mean, anybody who’s ever read ANY of JDT’s posts knows that he doesn’t have his.  
> \*\*

But he lovingly cherishes it’s memory every day.

And, actually I don’t have mine, either. The Sadistic Butcher that is the Mohel removed mine, thus also destroying _MY_ life at the behest of the Male Genital Mutilators, the [sub]Jews![/sub]

Forskinless Fenris

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**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/50 "2001-09-21T17:53:53Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Fenris \*  
> \*\*  
> **Jack** , Seethroughart is still here?? I thought he was long gone.  
> \*\*

Ah … he lives on in all of us. If you don’t believe me I have these un-retouched photos of my aura, which plainly show full-size billboards proclaiming such, and which are obviously the work of fourth dimension uber-beings.

The thing is, he faded away on us, but having never been actually banned, I thought he was still eligible for cash prizes.

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**Author:** ![BF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@BF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BF)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/51 "2001-09-21T18:12:16Z")

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[sub]…wheeze-cough…wheeze-cough…[/sub] Ok, stop, puh-leeze somebody stop this thread… My friggin’ sides hurt. COME ON, I’m trying to get some work done here… [sub]tug ahoy[/sub] bwahahahahah… oh geez…

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**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/52 "2001-09-21T18:29:23Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by PunditLisa \*  
> ::clapping with a bored look on my face and hoping curious would hurry up and make his damn speech so I could get OUT of my corseted sequined evening gown and DARLING matching shoes, which were clearly made for people with only four toes…_

So…how are **you** doing? 😃

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**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/53 "2001-09-21T23:10:08Z")

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thanks, by the way, for posting the “Tug-a-hoy” [sup]TM[/sup] link.

I sent it to my SO, who, prior to this has always come back with a witty retort. this time, he said simply:

> [@](#):
>
> Well, that is just… it’s… i mean, really… good lord.

😃

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/54 "2001-09-22T00:12:34Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Spiny Norman \*  
> \*\*\<sneaks in\>  
> \<reads thread, especially **Shayna** ’s posts. [sub]“scrumptious”?!?[/sub] \>  
> \<looks down\>  
> \<decides to sneak out again\>  
> \<leaves quietly\> \*\*

Everyone, let’s give a hand to ol’ **Spiny “Scrumptious Foreskin” Norman**!

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**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\
**Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/55 "2001-09-22T02:09:47Z")

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I’m really just a series of long distance photos manipulated to look like a monster.

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**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\
**Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/56 "2001-09-22T02:13:25Z")

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Dammit…forgot to put in the rest of my post…

While **seethruart** is pretty psycho, he was an obvious troll, so I don’t think he deserves any consideration for an award, however crazy he is.

You know, when their powers combine, they make **Captain Conspiracy** …

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**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\
**Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-first-winner-of-the-jack-dean-tyler-golden-foreskin-award-is/82940/57 "2001-09-22T02:14:30Z")

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And gee, I wonder if that will name will end up a sock puppet down the line…

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