# And the Jerk of the Year Award goes to... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 2, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385 "2001-12-02T00:23:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385/81 "2001-12-03T16:49:39Z")
Damn. This is the saddest thread I’ve read in a while. I can’t wait to have kids to tell them about Santa. My mom and dad did EVERYTHING they could to keep this myth going for my sister and I, and still, when I’m 29, every year there’s a present from “santa” under the tree. Usually it’s something for the whole family like tickets to DisneyWorld or a Trip to Toronto for the weekend. It’s a blast. We put out cookies and Dad hired a neighbor to come to our porch and ring sleighbells so we would run up and go to bed. I remember watching the weather report and they would track Santa…telling us where he was…my god, it was thrilling. And then one day, we just got too old for all that. Although I remember perpetuating it longer for my younger sister’s benefit. It just added to the magic and joy and anticipation for Christmas, my very favorite time of year. My parents always fostered imagination and creativity and dreaming and fantasy in us. We would play dress up and eat dinner like Little House on The Prarie folk. I think it’s what makes me a more creative and festive person today. jar ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385/82 "2001-12-03T17:59:10Z")
Bolding the worst parts: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > People are overlooking the serious practical reasons behind maintaining a belief in Santa Claus. Telling the kid that Christmas presents come from someone else takes a load off the parents. I think that’s the whole point behind the Santa Claus myth. > > See, the kid sees a lot of advertising for toys, even more when Christmas comes closer. She wants everything. If she tells me that she wants something (that we may or may not be able to afford for her) I ask her why she’s telling me, she needs to write a letter to Santa (this also encourages her to improve her reading and writing skills). When she doesn’t get everything she wanted, the blame’s off us - we just tell her that Santa can’t bring everything on the list. **When the kid misbehaves I threaten to report her to Santa, and go get the phone, she’ll plead not to snitch on her and she’ll usually behave for the rest of the night.** > > I’d be pissed if someone told her Santa wasn’t real, and **not because out of nostalgia or the joy of adding something fanciful to the child’s life** - it would just make things a lot harder for her mom and me. \*\* Wow. I don’t know where to start. That is so sad. First of all, you can improve her reading and writing skills by working with her on ‘thank you’ notes and the like. But, if you have to _use_ Santa to make your kids behave, then you’re taking the lazy way out and are not doing your job as a parent. Why can’t you do what you normally do all year to make them behave? And I certainly don’t think that a child needs to feel _unnecessary_ guilt to become a decent human being. What if the child is good all year and you can’t afford that X-Box she wants? The child feels like Santa doesn’t like her even when she’s good. I can see the good in the myth of Santa Claus, to fill their imaginations and make Christmas more enjoyable, but for you to use it ONLY for your own selfish reasons at the expense of the child is just rotten. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385/83 "2001-12-03T18:39:50Z")
Thank you Nutty Bunny for saying exactly that I was thinking. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385/84 "2001-12-04T04:37:57Z")
If the kid doesn’t get what she wants, she’s not going to be made to feel better through logic, whether it’s Santa or us who failed to get it for her. At other times in the year when we give her reasons for why she can’t have what she’s begging for, she’s still going to throw a fit and be mad at us, even if we try to explain that we can’t afford it or that it’s not appropriate to her age. We aren’t talking about dealing with the wants of a sane and rational person, children that age are mostly oblivious to anything that doesn’t fit in their worldview and the epitomy of self-centeredness. She’s not going to get everything she wants, whether we blame Santa or ourselves, and she’s going to upset over it no matter what. As to the supposed dillemna of a child that is good all year, I don’t believe there’s such a thing. I can’t remember the last time she went a single day without knowingly doing something that she’s been told countless times not to do. There’s bad days and better days, but no perfect ones. Through the rest of the year we reward her for when she’s making an effort to behave, and deny her stuff when she throws fits or otherwise misbehaves, this is the same thing, only this time she can’t dig herself deeper in trouble by trying to make us change our minds through whining to us or throwing more fits. We still use the techniques for persuading her to behave that we use through the rest of the year, it’s just when Christmas draws near and the materialism is bumped up another notch we have an added option to distance ourselves from some of the problems associated with it. Santa is still a positive thing to her, and his visit will contribute to making a special day better for her, but I think stripping the Santa myth of the punishment and reward elements ruins it. ---
**Author:** ![NaSultainne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8797f3/32.png) [@NaSultainne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NaSultainne)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385/85 "2001-12-04T05:22:16Z")
I love Santa! I even collect Santa figures for my decorations. My three kids grew up on stories about Santa, and the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. The youngest is almost 11 and no longer _really_ believes, but that’s not the important part anyway. We have a holiday tradition started because of Santa. My kids always had one small gift from Santa. Everything else we could afford, and some years it wasn’t much, properly came signed from Mom and Dad. Well, when my kids were little, I told them that Santa brought toys to the little kids whose moms and dads couldn’t afford them. So we started a Secret Santa for the kids in the neighborhood. I think you always know which families are having a tough time, and the kids pick out, wrap and then leave a present for the kids on the doorstep with a knock on the door early Christmas morning. We still do it every year. Let me tell you the kids believe in the _spirit_ of Santa more than most adults. They won’t open presents until they’ve done it, and the smiles on their faces? Best part of Christmas, let me tell you. I think they’re wonderful, and not just because I’m Mom. Christmas is what you make of it. Make it wonderful. ---
**Author:** ![City\_Gent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a87d85/32.png) [@City\_Gent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/City_Gent)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385/86 "2001-12-04T05:38:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lionors \* > \*\*The following, from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, pretty much sums up my opinion on the matter. > > * * * > > “Oh, and you must not forget the Kris Kringle. The child must believe in him until she reaches the age of six.” > > “Mother, I know there are no ghosts or fairies. I would be teaching the child foolish lies.” > > Mary spoke sharply. “You do not _know_ whether there are not ghosts on earth or angels in heaven.” > > “I _know_ there is no Santa Claus.” > > “Yet you must teach the child that these things are so.” > > “Why? When I, myself, do not believe?” > > “Because,” explained Mary Rommely simply, “the child must have a valuable thing which is called imagination. The child must have a secret world in which live things that never were. It is necessary that she _believe_. She must start out by believing in things not of this world. Then, when the world becomes too ugly for living in, the child can reach back and live in her imagination. I, myself, even in this day and at my age, have great need of recalling the miraculous lives of the saints and the great miracles that have come to pass on earth. Only by having these things in my mind can I live beyond what I _have_ to live for.” > > “The child will grow up and find out things for herself. She will know I lied. She will be disappointed.” > > “That is what is called learning the truth. It is a good thing to learn the truth one’s self. To first believe with all your heart, and then not to believe, is good, too. It fattens the emotions and makes them to stretch. When as a woman life and people disappoint her, she will have had practice in disappointment and it will not come as hard. In teaching your child, do not forget that suffering is good too. It makes a person rich in character.” > > \*\* That’s goddamned idiotic. The numerous liars and fools of the world will provide kids with enough illusions and unrealistic hopes that they’ll be plenty disappointed when they find out how the world really works. People who know better don’t need to add to the charade. If you think the kid needs to suffer, why not just whack her in the head with a stick? It’s always struck me oddly how you can do almost anything on TV: swear, get naked, be a slut, criticize the government, shoot someone, but nobody EVER fucks with Santa. It’s the last taboo. What does that tell you about society’s values? ---
**Author:** ![Lionors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c37758/32.png) [@Lionors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionors)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385/87 "2001-12-04T06:22:11Z")
> [@](#): > > That’s goddamned idiotic. The numerous liars and fools of the world will provide kids with enough illusions and unrealistic hopes that they’ll be plenty disappointed when they find out how the world really works. People who know better don’t need to add to the charade. If you think the kid needs to suffer, why not just whack her in the head with a stick? > > It’s always struck me oddly how you can do almost anything on TV: swear, get naked, be a slut, criticize the government, shoot someone, but nobody EVER fucks with Santa. It’s the last taboo. What does that tell you about society’s values? Interestingly enough, given your comment about suffering, the two characters go on to have a rather interesting discussion about that very thing (the mother being more of your opinion.) I didn’t continue the quoting due to length, but essentially, the thrust of it is: Yes, life does sometimes suck, and there’s not a thing one can do about it…but having an imagination does help deal with it. It certainly helps me on occasion. Moreover, I think there could be a very good argument on the point that while Santa, as a personage, may not be real, the spirit which the character exemplifies certainly is – and is worthy of emulation. One way or the other, however, what it comes down to is that it’s nobody else’s business but that of the parents as to what Christmas/Hanukkah/general holiday traditions they decide to have or not to have. If I choose to have Santa as part of ours – for whatever reason – then it is my right and pleasure to do so. As I respect others enough not to presume to interfere with anyone else’s family holiday traditions, I would be thoroughly pissed if someone presumed to try to tell us how we should celebrate a holiday, particularly if it meant barging in and ruining it for us all. Now, could someone please explain to me why anyone thinks they have a right to even try to dictate how others choose to celebrate a holiday? IMHO, when someone pays my taxes and my bills, then maybe that gives them the right to have a say in my household…until then, they’d damn well better keep out until they’re invited to comment. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385/88 "2001-12-04T20:46:04Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Lionors \* \*\* > [@](#): > > As I respect others enough not to presume to interfere with anyone else’s family holiday traditions, I would be thoroughly pissed if someone presumed to try to tell us how we should celebrate a holiday, particularly if it meant barging in and ruining it for us all. > > Now, could someone please explain to me why anyone thinks they have a right to even try to dictate how others choose to celebrate a holiday? IMHO, when someone pays my taxes and my bills, then maybe that gives them the right to have a say in my household…until then, they’d damn well better keep out until they’re invited to comment. \*\* I agree with that, so regarding the OP, the teacher should have kept his/her mouth shut. Parents certainly should have the right to teach their kids that Xmas gifts come from the moon on a beam of mercury vapor if they so choose; it hurts the kid a lot more than it hurts society, so society shouldn’t butt in. All I’m saying is that it’s bad for the kid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-jerk-of-the-year-award-goes-to/96385.md?page=4)