# And the most homoerotic movie ever made is... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 19, 2008, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571 "2008-08-19T17:30:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/21 "2008-08-19T18:45:54Z")
> [@](#): > > All the dissing on the Athenians. > > “Messenger: All that God-King Xerxes requires is this: a simple offering of earth and water. A token of Sparta’s submission to the will of Xerxes. > King Leonidas: Submission? Well that’s a bit of a problem. See, rumor has it the Athenians have already turned you down, and if those philosophers and, uh, boy-lovers have found that kind of nerve, then…” Having a Spartan say that line is history-invertin’ freakin’ hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/22 "2008-08-19T18:47:11Z")
I’m not gay, but for about a half an hour after watching 300 if a guy propositioned me… ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/23 "2008-08-19T18:52:50Z")
[QUOTE=Darth Sensitive] King Leonidas: Submission? Well that’s a bit of a problem. See, rumor has it the Athenians have already turned you down, and if those philosophers and, uh, boy-lovers have found that kind of nerve, then…" [/QUOTE] Well, they mentioned boy-lovers, not man-lovers. That could have been an important distinction, often lost on modern society. Historically, you find occasional mention of man-boy relationships, but you hardly ever find mention of man-man relationships. Why? Maybe because it was unremarkable. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/24 "2008-08-19T18:56:11Z")
300 seems to be the winner here, but I’m going to go with Roadhouse being the most homoerotic movie of all time. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/25 "2008-08-19T19:16:40Z")
**Road House** is one of the most homoerotic movies I’ve ever seen, and I’m including gay porn in that assessment. “I used to fuck guys like you in prison” indeed. Every man who meets Swayze clearly falls in strong lust with him. The long, slow looks are almost enough to make a person uncomfortable. **Top Gun** of course. I think Val Kilmer said about **Kiss Kiss Bang Bang** that he had already played a gay character once–Ice Man. For that matter, **Tombstone** is pretty gay. **Point Break**. That movie was very obviously about the epic love between an FBI agent and a criminal. Even Keanu’s ostensible love interest was a girl who looked like a man (Lori Petty) and went buy a man’s name (Tyler). I think Mike Nelson put it best when he said “Not since the Jets and the Sharks minced down an alley way have such macho men been so utterly, utterly gay.” There’s no other way most of that movie makes sense if they’re not falling in love with each other—Keanu can’t shot Swayze because “he loves him so so much.” And in the end, he has to let Swayze die on his own terms…and once he’s found Swayze and let him go what does he do? Drop his badge! Of course he does. Law enforcement holds nothing more for him. **Shaun of the Dead** Shaun: He’s not my boyfriend. Ed (hands Shaun a beer): It might be a bit warm, the cooler’s off. Shaun: Thanks babe. (wink) And some oldies– **That Talk of the Town** , **The Philadelphia Story** and **My Favorite Wife**. They’re all gay for different reasons. In the first, it feels like Jean Arthur is just there because a female needs to be there. The compelling relationship–the one people are willing to make sacrifices for and the one with the most amount of chemistry–is between Carry Grant and Ronald Colman. In contrast, **The Philadelphia Story** has an amazing amount of chemistry between Grant and James Stewart, but it didn’t replace or supplant Hepburn. In my mind, the three of them ran away together to have hot sex and live happily ever after. In **My Favorite Wife** , there was some serious competitiveness between Grant and Randolph Scott (not like in the love triangles in the other two movies) but let’s face it, when Grant saw Scott in the pool, his reaction was “holy shit, my wife totally fucked him. I would totally fuck him if I was alone on an island with him for 7 years.” In other words, instant lust. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/26 "2008-08-19T19:22:43Z")
Turning away from the glistening abs for a moment, I nominate “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”. Supposed story: a thief with a heart of gold (Robert Downey Jr) gets caught up in a murder mystery with a gay detective (Val Kilmer) all while trying to win over his old high school crush (Michelle Monaghan). Wacky hi-jinks ensue. Actual story: a thief with arrested development meets a gay detective and is instantly fascinated with him and his homosexuality(“That was so gay!” “That is the single gayest thing you’ve ever done!”) Throughout the movie, Downey and Kilmer kiss, clasp hands, hug, and basically invade one another’s space. Downey’s character does spend half the movie trying to win over Monaghan’s character, until he gets her naked. Then he rejects her. Three times. At the end of the movie, both Kilmer and Monaghan’s characters are badly injured. Downey’s character rushes to revive Kilmer first, almost forgetting about Monaghan completely. After everyone wakes up in the hospital, Monaghan’s character isn’t shown again. A year later, Kilmer and Downey’s characters are happily working together as detectives, and are still comfortably groping one another. What is it about Val Kilmer? ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/27 "2008-08-19T19:35:56Z")
_Gladiator_? As far as I could tell, one major reason for the movie to exist seemed to be to show off the magnitude of Russel Crowe. Sure, there was that icky hetero incest thing going on, and Crowe’s character had been married and all, but otherwise…gladiators. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/28 "2008-08-19T19:47:46Z")
**Casablanca**. Bogie dumps the girl and runs off with Claude Rains. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/29 "2008-08-19T19:55:32Z")
Another golden oldie … I laughed when I recently saw the movie version of the musical South Pacific again. Sure, Luther Billups (is that his name?) does a drag queen bit near the end on the song Honey Bun … but have you seen him in the beginning? He’s got his shirt tied at the waist for God’s sake. The whole retinue of sailors looked like an audition for the Village People. Having been a drooling teenage girl when Top Gun came out, I missed the homoeroticism but looking back it’s like :smack:. Heavens. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/30 "2008-08-19T19:58:05Z")
I wouldn’t call it _homoerotic_, but it seemed to me that _X-Men: The Last Stand_ had a pretty obvious gay pride subtext (particularly in the Angel subplot). ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/31 "2008-08-19T20:11:16Z")
**The Killing Fields** , seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/32 "2008-08-19T20:17:33Z")
The nutshell description from the [Agony Booth recap](http://agonybooth.com/recaps/Thor_and_the_Amazon_Women_1963.aspx) of a sword-and-sandals flick titled “Thor and the Amazon Women”: “There’s so much homoeroticism oozing out of this movie, my living room carpet is now sticky.” (and, judging from the recap, the homoeroticism is dispensed in both flavors) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/33 "2008-08-19T20:23:21Z")
\*\*Interview with a Vampire. \*\*Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt sucking on each other’s necks and wrists while they gasp in ecstasy? Come on!!! It couldn’t be any more obvious even if they were naked! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/34 "2008-08-19T20:24:33Z")
_Red River_ ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/35 "2008-08-19T20:31:27Z")
**Gentlemen Prefer Blondes** - especially [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAWsPndc-YY) scene. No, Jane, sorry but there ain’t anyone there for love (at least for you.) ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/36 "2008-08-19T20:32:09Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] \*\*Interview with a Vampire. \*\*Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt sucking on each other’s necks and wrists while they gasp in ecstasy? Come on!!! It couldn’t be any more obvious even if they were naked! [/QUOTE] In the books, there was definite homosexuality. Does it count, if the movie just toned down what was blatant and open in the book? ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/37 "2008-08-19T20:33:43Z")
[QUOTE=Ellen Cherry] Another golden oldie … I laughed when I recently saw the movie version of the musical South Pacific again. Sure, Luther Billups (is that his name?) does a drag queen bit near the end on the song Honey Bun … but have you seen him in the beginning? He’s got his shirt tied at the waist for God’s sake. The whole retinue of sailors looked like an audition for the Village People. [/QUOTE] 😃 I find it hard to believe that [these boys really prefer dames](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dO-Qi8W9Yk&feature=related). ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/38 "2008-08-19T20:44:57Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] \*\*Interview with a Vampire. \*\*Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt sucking on each other’s necks and wrists while they gasp in ecstasy? Come on!!! It couldn’t be any more obvious even if they were naked! [/QUOTE] They were explicitly gay in the book, though. That’s not subtext, it’s text. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/39 "2008-08-19T20:49:17Z")
[Missed the edit window.] I just realized that that South Pacific sailor is [Ray Walston](http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/3266271.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=10276273D480F6D80663DE2799802ACBA55A1E4F32AD3138). :eek: ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2008, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571/40 "2008-08-19T20:54:22Z")
I nominate _Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous_, with Sandra Bullock and Regina King as two FBI agents who fuss and snap at each other constantly, and are obviously in love with each other by the end of the movie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-most-homoerotic-movie-ever-made-is/460571.md?page=3)