And if it takes more than half an hour, is the pizza free?
I’m so upset I might not even go to that live panda and dolphin surf & turf.
And whatever you do, don’t watch the Korean film Oldboy.
Because only cute animals experience pain!
I thought it was that only cute animals deserve to not feel pain.
checks handbook Oh, my bad, you’re right.
“Now, wretched bottom-feeder, you will tell us of your troop movements!”. 
Even more outrageous is when the animal is still alive after you’ve eaten it (warning, link to possibly disturbing video).
Er, isn’t gold a toxic heavy metal (like lead or mercury)?
Well, it’s heavy, and it’s a metal, but thankfully it’s not toxic. Wikipedia article
Wasn’t there some guy who ate a meal of dozens of thousands of calories, and ended up eventually committing suicide? I’d Google it, but I can’t remember anything even remotely specific.
Nope. In fact one treatment for some kinds of arthritis is to inject the sore bits with gold.
Wasn’t this an episode of House MD? A women tried to kill her husband by sprinkling arthritis medicine (containg gold) on his cornflakes? As I recall, the guy needed a lung transplant…