# And the SDMB Kiss-Ass-of-the-Year Award goes to.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 6, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802 "2001-11-06T16:12:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bossk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Bossk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bossk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/41 "2001-11-07T09:56:02Z")
And baby makes two, Punha. FYI, some people use the real world to do their dating. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/42 "2001-11-07T09:56:35Z")
Bossk… I mean, Buddhadog (sorry, you two are so gosh-darn similar, I keep forgetting which of my toys is which!)… > [@](#): > > I would respond but I think your handle says it all. Darn straight it does. Among other things, my handle contains the entire content of the Library of Congress, the Encyclopedia Britannica (with a squashed spider on page 321), the works of Shakespeare written backwards in pig’s vomit, all volumes of the Adventures of Dick, Jane, and Spot, 73 issues of _Spawn_, and a “Do not remove” tag from a mattress. My handle has EVERYTHING. Buddhadog… I mean, Bossk (sorry, you two are so gosh-darn similar, I keep forgetting which of my toys is which!)… > [@](#): > > Wow, Lord Sandpaper of the SDMB almost managed to go an entire day without instigating. Instigating what? Sex? A car accident? A new sitcom idea? A chili cook-off? A brouhaha of quacking? What, man, what? Learn to speak in complete sentences, man! > [@](#): > > Watch how the deft word wizard chastises the OP for name-calling, and then witness his very own suggestion that “toilet trout” fuck off. Where’d I chastise the Op for name-calling? Hell, when did I EVER chastise _anyone_ for name-calling? I’m the biggest advocate of name-calling on the Boards! Hell, I get pissed off if people don’t include, at the very least, a mild “moron” or asymptotic “asshole” in their posts! Where’ve you been, sir, that you’ve completely missed the blaringly obvious? Masturbating to pictures of Lucy van Pelt? Snorting ground-up altoids, thinking it was crack? It must’ve been interesting, old boy, to not know what everyone and his brother knows. > [@](#): > > That’s one wicked Mobius strip of Denial and Hypocrisy you’re living in there, son. Except… it isn’t. Denial? I fully admit it. Hypocrisy? I never chastised the man. What’s the matter, old Bossky? Your feelings got hurt since your trolling failed miserably? You wanna extract some sort of revenge? Well, that’s all well and good… just come back when you’ve got some ammo, big guy! I feel for you, man… you’re just trying and trying, like the Little Engine that Could, yet you just can’t seem to overcome that little hurdle you’ve got that keeps you from succceeding… stupidity. > [@](#): > > I guess I’m just a little surprised that you had the nards to attack on your own for once. Yeah, well, when I was 3, I was surprised to learn that there was no Santa Claus. Learn to read, old boy, you’ll find far fewer surprises. May I recommend the phonics game? Being at such a late stage in your life (I’m guessing you just got into your double digits… congratulations! That’s a wonderful time to be growing up!), you may need such a program. > [@](#): > > when Spoofey smells blood, Crunchy and Punha like to jump right on that bandwagon to make it a sweaty and grunting orgy of abuse. Yeah, don’t you know? They’re my sockpuppets. And so’s Techchick. And Slip Mahoney. And Unclebeer. And Waterj2. And Suasponte. In fact, 99% of the membership here consists solely of my sockpuppets. I’m not even human… why, I’m an errant A.I. that’s managed to squirm into the Internet. See my webpage? Everything there is a fabrication, digitally created, pixel by pixel. All these posts? I generate them periodically, at random intervals. It’s all part of a grand scheme, my Star Wars monikered chum, to make sure that you never learn the _truth_! > [@](#): > > Congrats for holding your own, young one. You’ve taken your first step into a larger world. Thanks, Yoda. And, since I hear your balls are scheduled to drop any day now, allow me to say the same to you! Puberty is loads of fun, let me assure you. ---
**Author:** ![Bossk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Bossk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bossk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/43 "2001-11-07T09:59:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\ ***Bossk** , do you ever say anything that doesn’t make you sound like a jackass? I have yet to read a post by you that makes any kind of meaningful contribution to, well, _anything_. Why are you here? > \*\* Oh, maybe I just want to see you abandon your flighty ways and settle down and give your parents grandchildren. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/44 "2001-11-07T10:04:57Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Bossk** _ > > Oh, maybe I just want to see you abandon your flighty ways and settle down and give your parents grandchildren. And someone as _bon vivant_ as you, named after an obscure Star Wars character, doesn’t have a wife and children yourself? I am stunned. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Bossk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Bossk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bossk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/45 "2001-11-07T10:39:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\* > > Yeah, don’t you know? They’re my sockpuppets. And so’s Techchick. And Slip Mahoney. And Unclebeer. And Waterj2. And Suasponte. In fact, 99% of the membership here consists solely of my sockpuppets. I’m not even human… why, I’m an errant A.I. that’s managed to squirm into the Internet. See my webpage? Everything there is a fabrication, digitally created, pixel by pixel. All these posts? I generate them periodically, at random intervals. It’s all part of a grand scheme, my Star Wars monikered chum, to make sure that you never learn the _truth_! > > \*\* [Tony Curtis] I LOVE you, Spoofacus. [/Tony Curtis] But still, we are really not getting to the heart of your internal problem. I mean, the insanely personally insulting posts at the slightest possible provocation? \*Gee, Spoofe. You seem a little thin-skinned. \* You are, after all, the Albert Belle of the SDMB. Talent, yes. But are you loved by anyone? Ummm… So what the heck is your underlying problem? No prom date in high school? Or even worse, a prom date that just wanted to be friends and went out with you for appearances’ sake? It’s obvious that, more than anything, you’re motivated by sexual frustration. Anyone who takes second-level psychology classes can figure that out by the underlying messages in your truly ‘enlightening’ posts. I don’t deny the fact that you want to be the H.L. Mencken of the SDMB. Just don’t expect anyone to care. Lord knows I don’t. It’s just that someone who has such an undeservedly large ego as yours should have learned to take a wee bit of criticism every now and then. Oh, well. I’ll just wait and watch to see you make yet another ass of yourself in the future. I’m no Miss Cleo, but I’m thinking _near_ future. ---
**Author:** ![Bossk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Bossk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bossk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/46 "2001-11-07T10:47:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by **Bossk** _ > > > > Oh, maybe I just want to see you abandon your flighty ways and settle down and give your parents grandchildren. > > And someone as _bon vivant_ as you, named after an obscure Star Wars character, doesn’t have a wife and children yourself? I am stunned. > > Esprix \*\* Shut up, and kiss me, fool! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/47 "2001-11-07T12:00:30Z")
**Slip Mahoney** ’s a cop? Cool! 🆒 * * * “Sucking up is good.” - **DrMatrix** ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/48 "2001-11-07T12:57:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bossk \* > FYI, some people use the real world to do their dating. Um, good for them. What does that have to do with anything, most notably me? Or were you just flinging random words into a random sentence generator, hoping to come up with a scathing insult? I think I’ve been more insulted by lunch than anything you’ve managed, O Squicking Experiment Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong. I would insult you more, but my finger itches, and it’s more important. Plus I’m hungry. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/49 "2001-11-07T14:07:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Goo \* > oh, and **Munch,** I am seeking therapy for my ass-kissing problem (thank god for **BuddhaDog** pointing out my defects ) so there’s no need to break out into a rash of spaces between sentences. Hold back, I know you have the willpower \*\* I’d help you out, but it’d just be mindless post-padding. But seriously, **BuddhaDog** , what the hell is your point? You link and point to absolutely no thread/post where you have some legitimate beef with **Slip** , yet you continue to self-destruct (I’d call it a flare, but I think you’ve sucked all the oxygen out of this thread). You make ridiculous assumptions and generalizations with neither support, purpose or direction. We’d call you a troll, but most trolls are trying to elicit a certain response. Unless your intended response is “huh?”, my conclusion is that you’re just a moron. But then I’d be insulting morons around the world. So 'fess up. What’s your malfunction? ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/50 "2001-11-07T14:42:57Z")
I just finished night watch and thought I’d turn on the computer to mock **Feynn’s** beloved Habs, and I see a pit thread dedicated to little old me. I now consider myself a true Doper. Shame it had to come from such bozo, but I guess it’s better than being ignored. The Dawg had the brass to flame me in MPSIMS a few weeks back, and Coldfire was on him like ugly on an ape. Took him a while to regroup, but here he be. I suppose I could find a few of BuddhaDog’s cutting edge posts and put them up for comedic purposes, but frankly, I don’t want to give the shmuck any more attention than necessary. I’ll just sit back and let the mutt cut and paste until he runs out of posts to copy. Good thing I don’t have a couple of thousand, or we’d be here until Saturday. To the rest of you guys, thanks for sticking up for me. If you’re ever in Toronto and get a parking ticket, don’t come to me. Nothing I can do about it. ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/51 "2001-11-07T20:36:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bossk \* > \*\*Oh, maybe I just want to see you abandon your flighty ways and settle down and give your parents grandchildren. \*\* **Bossk** , you goat-pole smoker, Jesus, you’re low. And a dick-head to boot. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/52 "2001-11-08T00:18:22Z")
> [@](#): > > But still, we are really not getting to the heart of your internal problem. I mean, the insanely personally insulting posts at the slightest possible provocation? Well, let’s see some in-depth analysis, Toy. Slightest provocation? Prove that. Personally insulting? That would involve something like trying to dig up dirt on a person and use that to try to strike at a personal cord. Who, pray tell, would be guilty of that, you hypocritical pile of Hutt shit? You wanna know what I do? You wanna know what my repertoire is? I judge a poster based on their posts. Period. If I see someone make intelligent posts, I treat them intelligently. If I see someone make assholic posts, I treat them assholically. > [@](#): > > Gee, Spoofe. You seem a little thin-skinned. Allow me a moment to scoff. As I’ve said before… I’ve been flamed by people _with_ brains. What hope do you have? Go do a little reading, Toy, and develop a little bit of insight before you open up with your Zippy-speak thurbledurble. I’ve taken my fair share of shit, _and each and every time I’ve deserved it_. The OP is also getting his fair share of shit, _and he deserves it_. And you, sir, have not even begun to get your fair share of shit… and, when you finally do get it, keep in mind _that you earned each and every cubic inch of it_. Then again, I’m quite sure you enjoy feces. You seem to spew enough of it. > [@](#): > > You are, after all, the Albert Belle of the SDMB. Talent, yes. But are you loved by anyone? I’m loved by plenty enough. There’s no insecurity of mine there for you to prey upon. Now let’s reverse the question… does anyone love you? Is that what this is about, Toy? You feel sad? Hmm? Is Bossk’ems a tad sad’ems? Buck up, Toy, it’s not all that bad. > [@](#): > > So what the heck is your underlying problem? No prom date in high school? Or even worse, a prom date that just wanted to be friends and went out with you for appearances’ sake? Heh… heh… heh… Man, is this guy reaching or what? > [@](#): > > It’s obvious that, more than anything, you’re motivated by sexual frustration. Anyone who takes second-level psychology classes can figure that out by the underlying messages in your truly ‘enlightening’ posts. Thanks, Freud. But sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. You ever thought that, maybe, some people just come here because they enjoy the company and the atmosphere? But what motivates you? Obviously, you’ve got a chip on your shoulder the size of Europe. Based on the content of your posts, you’re lacking in education, as seen by your total lack of an ability to learn. Further, you can’t stand the notion of someone disagreeing with you, or when someone tells you that you’re doing something wrong, as you immediately lash out, Helen Keller style, and try oh-so-hard to make them feel bad. What does this tell us? Just like your Star Wars namesake, you suffer from a massive inferiority complex and delusions of grandeur and intelligence. See, Toy, that’s why you don’t bother me… I know better. I’ve seen dozens of your type come and go, all of them equally idiotic, all of them displaying massive amounts of ignorance, and all of them trying to “hit 'em where it hurts” in such a clumsy fashion that the attempt falls pitiably short. > [@](#): > > I don’t deny the fact that you want to be the H.L. Mencken of the SDMB. Just don’t expect anyone to care. Lord knows I don’t. You sure do seem to care, Toy. You sure seem to have a hardon for me. Have my devilish good looks really managed to get your juices flowing that quickly? > [@](#): > > It’s just that someone who has such an undeservedly large ego as yours should have learned to take a wee bit of criticism every now and then. I wouldn’t be accusing anyone of having an “undeservedly large ego”, Toy. Hell, you’re acting as if you’re the first to have noticed this crap about me. Like I’ve already said, I’ve been flamed by people who are _intelligent_, people who _know what’s going on_, people who are capable of generating at least a mild electrical charge in their brain. Again, compared to people like these, what hope do you have? > [@](#): > > Oh, well. I’ll just wait and watch to see you make yet another ass of yourself in the future. I wonder… just how many people on this Board do you think “make an ass” of themselves? Keep in mind, Toy… we’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you. We’re a clique, remember? ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/53 "2001-11-08T00:58:19Z")
Did I fall off the back of the truck or something? \*I’m the flamee, remember? This is about me. Never mind. Go at it. It looks like the Cut and Paste Kid lost his drool bucket and won’t be back. Pity. He was an amusing little fuckstick. ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/54 "2001-11-08T01:01:17Z")
The italics? I did that on purpose. Fer sure. ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/55 "2001-11-08T02:58:17Z")
You know, **Slip** , I was going to stick up for you, but … > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Slip Mahoney \* > \*\*If you’re ever in Toronto and get a parking ticket, don’t come to me. Nothing I can do about it. \*\* :: pulls **Slip** ’s pants down instead and runs away, giggling :: :: comes back and steals **Slip** ’s cop hat, then runs away giggling :: ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/56 "2001-11-08T03:41:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Slip Mahoney \* > **If you’re ever in Toronto and get a parking ticket, don’t come to me.** Oh, the humanity, the ingratitude, after all we’ve done for y… [sub]Wait a minute… I don’t have a car. I don’t even know how to drive ![/sub] Never mind 🙂 _walks away slowly until reaching the corner, then start to run…_ ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/57 "2001-11-08T07:31:10Z")
Oh right, this is Slip’s party. I just can’t think of anything bad to say about the guy. He does leave spaces between his sentences so I guess I could call him a bandwidth wasting poopyhead! _looks up_ Forget what I said about leaving spaces between sentences, there really is nothing wrong with Slip. He’s great. [sub]aside from his Leaf’s fixation. ---
**Author:** ![Bossk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Bossk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bossk)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/58 "2001-11-08T07:51:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\* > What does this tell us? Just like your Star Wars namesake, you suffer from a massive inferiority complex and delusions of grandeur and intelligence. See, Toy, that’s why you don’t bother me… I know better. > \*\* To be fair, you bothered me a lot more, until: [Fabio](http://albums.photopoint.com/j/ViewPhoto?u=1157800&a=13942285&p=55922106&f=0) Can I have your permission to use this as my desktop wallpaper? ---
**Author:** ![Slip\_Mahoney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Slip\_Mahoney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slip_Mahoney)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/59 "2001-11-08T13:35:52Z")
Bossko, not that you care, but I’ve amended my opinion of you. You’re also an amusing little fuckstick. But I’m starting to get bored. One more day, and you’ll be yesterday’s news. Can you show us something else, or are you just a one trick pony? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802/60 "2001-11-08T13:46:33Z")
Hmm… smells like somebody didnt change their socks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-the-sdmb-kiss-ass-of-the-year-award-goes-to/91802.md?page=4)