# And this week's ward for the dumbest criminals ... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-this-weeks-ward-for-the-dumbest-criminals/271841 "2004-10-29T13:27:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-this-weeks-ward-for-the-dumbest-criminals/271841/1 "2004-10-29T13:27:22Z")
Goes to a trio of [bird brained burglars](http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2004-10-27-parrot-stolen_x.htm) who successfully robbed a house in Memphis, got away, then returned to steal the family parrot. > [@](#): > > “They were afraid the bird would ‘stool’ on them,” police Maj. Billy Garrett said. “They actually believed he could identify them.” They decided to go back for the bird, loading it into the getaway car as police arrived on the scene. The phrase “too stupid to survive” springs to mind ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-this-weeks-ward-for-the-dumbest-criminals/271841/2 "2004-10-29T13:29:48Z")
I thought only pigeons stooled? ---
**Author:** ![Rock\_n\_Roach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Rock\_n\_Roach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock_n_Roach)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-this-weeks-ward-for-the-dumbest-criminals/271841/3 "2004-10-29T15:52:44Z")
Looks like nobody “stool” anything in this case. And Marshmallow is (to parrotphrase Lynyrd Skynrd) free as a bird ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-this-weeks-ward-for-the-dumbest-criminals/271841/4 "2004-10-29T17:09:15Z")
Well, if the bird crapped all over them, it would make them a bit easier to identify… ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-this-weeks-ward-for-the-dumbest-criminals/271841/5 "2004-10-29T18:25:55Z")
Heh. You laugh, but my dad and I had a burglary of a habitation trial just last week where a parrot ratted the guy out, in a manner of speaking. The victims took an ad out in a paper saying that some items were stolen from a house, including a parrot that could say “Remember the Alamo.” Sombody recognized a similar bird and similar loot at the defendant’s house, and the police got a search warrant. When the police searched the premises and found the bird, they got it to say “Remember the Alamo.” I’m starting to write his appeal soon. Maybe I’ll argue the bird’s statement should have been supressed… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-this-weeks-ward-for-the-dumbest-criminals/271841/6 "2004-10-29T19:40:00Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > Goes to a trio of [bird brained burglars](http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2004-10-27-parrot-stolen_x.htm) who successfully robbed a house in Memphis, got away, then returned to steal the family parrot. > The phrase “too stupid to survive” springs to mind Of course birds stool!! Walk in any park in America: you gotta used an umbrella!!