# And verily, the Lord of Hosts shalt stick his arm up your ass **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 15, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433 "2003-08-15T17:57:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/1 "2003-08-15T17:57:36Z")
If you are [so easily offended.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=204499) ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/2 "2003-08-15T18:06:09Z")
Classy. With the nigh but constant chase to the lowest common denominator, this place is getting more and more frustrating. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/3 "2003-08-15T18:11:19Z")
…and the choir sang “Hole-y, Hole-y, Hole-y!!! Merciful and Mighty…!” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/4 "2003-08-15T18:24:43Z")
Er… **SAL** , are you objecting to **BrightnShiny** ’s objection/being insulted? ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/5 "2003-08-15T18:27:04Z")
Grow a skin, Hamlet. This thread is funny! Funny in that way that _Freddy Got Fingered_ was funny. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/6 "2003-08-15T18:29:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* > \*\*If you are [so easily offended.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=204499) \*\* Actually, I can’t see the problem either. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/7 "2003-08-15T20:31:51Z")
From the point of view of this Christian: one of God’s attributes is omnipresence. It follows, therefore, that His arm is already up every ass in creation … am I wrong? (I’m a Christian, but not always a very reverent one. Or an easily offended one.) ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/8 "2003-08-15T20:38:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \* > From the point of view of this Christian: one of God’s attributes is omnipresence. It follows, therefore, that His arm is already up every ass in creation … am I wrong? > > (I’m a Christian, but not always a very reverent one. Or an easily offended one.) Ooooh … will you be my new theology teacher? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/9 "2003-08-15T20:52:54Z")
Christianity: God’s arm is up your ass. Hinduism: God’s arm is your ass. Other religions will be left as an exercise for the student. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/10 "2003-08-15T20:55:05Z")
Judaism: God’s arm is up your toukas? ---
**Author:** ![Taran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Taran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taran)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/11 "2003-08-15T21:33:26Z")
Atheist: Stop relying on the Magical Sky Faerie and put your arm up your OWN ass. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/12 "2003-08-15T21:44:33Z")
Unitarian Universalist: Let’s all put our arms up each other’s asses. Southern Baptist: Put your arm up your ass if you want - but no dancing while you do it. The Matrix: There IS no arm – and no ass either, for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/13 "2003-08-15T21:46:40Z")
Agnostic: There may or may not be an arm up your ass. We don’t know. It might just be a fancy dildo. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/14 "2003-08-15T21:57:29Z")
Man, this is a lot more fun than I _thought_ this thread would be. Thanks for providing me a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![xcheopis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xcheopis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xcheopis)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/15 "2003-08-15T22:00:35Z")
Zen: Just as there is no distinction between my self and your self, there is also no distinction between your arm or my arm; between your ass or my ass. Therefore, your ass is mine. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/16 "2003-08-15T22:00:51Z")
Wiccan: You can put your arm as far up your ass as you want, as long as you don’t hurt anyone. (Or frighten any cute, furry animals.) Jain: If you put your arm up anyone’s ass, make sure you don’t crush any fecal coliform bacteria in the process. ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/17 "2003-08-15T22:05:29Z")
Perhaps I was a little oversensitive, but I don’t think it warranted the attacks I was subjected to in that thread, and I did make an attempt to move the discussion out of the thread. Anyways, carry on. Seinfeldism: I don’t put my hand up anyone’s ass. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/18 "2003-08-15T22:10:57Z")
For the record, I wasn’t personally offended, nor do I think Zenster intended it that way. I did find some of the ensuing remarks offensive. ---
**Author:** ![Hauky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/0ea827/32.png) [@Hauky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hauky)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/19 "2003-08-15T22:11:56Z")
Jehovah’s Witness: We’d like to take a moment of your time to share with you the arms up our asses. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/20 "2003-08-15T22:12:50Z")
Scientology: In order to achieve true happiness while understanding not only the nature of the arm in the ass, but the arm and the ass seperately, as well as, indeed, the nature of the elements that make up the arm and the ass, send more money to our great leader! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433.md?page=2)