# And verily, the Lord of Hosts shalt stick his arm up your ass **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 15, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433 "2003-08-15T17:57:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/121 "2003-08-17T23:34:32Z")
Well done, **Skybum**! I salute in your general direction via the arm-o’-my-ass! ---
**Author:** ![BooksWoods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooksWoods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooksWoods)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/122 "2003-08-17T23:47:48Z")
Good job, SkyBum. The first couple of lines were very close to what I had in mind, but you flew with it. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Eboshi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@Lady\_Eboshi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Eboshi)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/123 "2003-08-18T02:35:24Z")
Wilhelm Reich: The arm up your ass is a subconscious attempt by the mind to release suppressed sexual orgone energy. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/124 "2003-08-18T03:10:12Z")
Armed! In danger: Ass. ---
**Author:** ![cabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@cabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/125 "2003-08-18T04:15:52Z")
Solipsist: This arm and this ass form the only provable arm/ass combination in existence. ---
**Author:** ![cabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@cabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/126 "2003-08-18T04:21:12Z")
Solipsist: This arm and this ass form the only provable arm/ass combination in existence. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/127 "2003-08-18T06:18:16Z")
Berkeley protester: We declare this to be “Only indiginous arms up our ass” day! Lecturing Doctor: The condition is typified by rectal insertion of the contiguous digital and metacarpal areas in addition to the radial and ulnar portion of that limb without prior dilation or anesthesia. George W. Bush: That is a suliminable arm up my ass. The Architect Sketch: The arms arrive here, are carried in extreme comfort past sphincters tattooed with Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating colons. The last fifty centimeters of the lower intestine is heavily sound proofed, the excrement flows into troughs and the mangled polyps are slurped up by these slurpers … Excuse me. Yes? Did you say colons? Rotating colons, yes. Are you all proposing to fist our tenants? Does that not fit in with your plans? No, I’m sorry, we wanted a resident proctologist. Ah, I hadn’t fully divined your attitude towards the patients. May I ask you to reconsider? Uh, no. We wanted a resident proctologist. This is a real beauty mind you. None of your shit spattered on the walls and used latex gloves flying out the windows incommoding the passersby. But we wanted a resident proctologist! Yes well, it’s this sort of fecal scatological fug emanance I’ve come to expect from you non-concensual garbage. You sit all day on your loathesome undialated cloaca not giving a tinker’s cuss for the struggling fister. You and your Tony Jaqueline edition KY Jelly, colour Sigmoidscopes and bleeding secret Masonic reacharounds. Why, you blackballing buggers, I wouldn’t become a resident proctologist if you went buns-up on your lousy stinking knees and begged me! Well we’re sorry you feel that way. Nice though the arm up the ass is. Oh, sod the arm. I’d love to be a proctologist. Proctology opens bores for me. I was a butt on edge there but if you let me join I’d be very quiet and shit at the back. Thank you. I’ve got a second hand latex glove. Thank you. I nearly got in at San Francisco. Thank you. And now for the second proctologist, the Spanish Suppository. I was hardly expecting a sort of Spanish Suppository. [crash] NOBODY expects the Spanish Suppository! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/128 "2003-08-18T08:07:50Z")
Walt Whitman: A Goatse said, _What’s up my ass?_ stretching it for me with full hands; How could I answer the man? I do not know what it is, any more than he. I guess it must be the thumb of my disposition, all of hopeful brown stuff covered. Or I guess it is the hand and fist of the Lord, A scented gift and remembrancer, suggestively shoved, Bearing the owner’s arm someway into the colon, that you may feel and remark, and say, _Whose?_ ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/129 "2003-08-18T08:12:47Z")
_sniff_ That was beautiful, **Larry Mudd** , although I very nearly used the wrong hand to wipe the ensuing tear from my eye… ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/130 "2003-08-18T09:48:08Z")
Anime fan: Arm up my ass? What, they were all out of tentacles? OR Is that a subbed arm or a dubbed arm? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/131 "2003-08-18T12:15:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \* > \*\*Bill Clinton: I did NOT…HAVE…an arm up my ass. > > _Good!_ \*\* That depends on your what your definition of ass is. Hillary: It takes a village to cram an arm up an ass. Mike Bloomberg: We do not know what caused this blackout, but we’re sure it had nothing to do with the arm up New York City’s ass. \*\* Skybum \*\* you have a great career waiting for you in writing obsene children’s poetry. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/132 "2003-08-18T12:45:56Z")
Christian Science Church: The arm up our ass can only be removed through the power of prayer. * * * Cardinal Law’s Catholic Church: Yes, father Flanagan’s arm is up your ass. Its a form of penance. He has his other one up your son’s ass. And if you tell anyone about his arm up your or your son’s ass, you’ll be excommunicated. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/133 "2003-08-18T13:11:03Z")
Gaming … RIFTS: Your new armor may be the best money can buy, but all the armor in the world won’t save you from the megadamage of the Splugorth’s tentacles up your ass. D&D: At fourth level and every fourth level thereafter, once per day you may insert an additional 1D4+1 arms up your ass. BattleTech: The azure lightning of a PPC blast leapt from the Battlemaster’s right hand and lanced into the Toyama like Anastasius Focht’s arm up the Word of Blake’s ass. StarWars: Darth Vader may be a sadistic, evil being who thrives on the pain of others, but even he could learn something from the torture of having a wookie’s arm up your ass. Vampire, the Masquerade: Cain is coming, and he has the power to stick his arm up the ass of every Kindred on Earth. ---
**Author:** ![fbmf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@fbmf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fbmf)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/134 "2003-08-18T17:49:18Z")
> [@](#): > > **Originally posted by mic84** > Mark Twain - It is better to have your arm up your ass and be thought a full than pull it out and reove all doubt. That’d be Abraham Lincoln, actually. Cheers, fbmf ---
**Author:** ![BooksWoods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooksWoods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooksWoods)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/135 "2003-08-18T18:46:14Z")
_Your arm up your ass, the dirtiest job you ever loved._ - U.S. Peace Corps (a program started by John F. Kennedy, who once, of course, said: “Ask Not what your Arm can Do up your Ass, but What your Ass can do with your Arm up it.”) [sub]I know, I know, somebody else said that first. Or something. But this was Kennedy’s version.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/136 "2003-08-18T19:03:16Z")
This thread has me laughing so hard, I just shat arm all over my monitor! ---
**Author:** ![SkyBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SkyBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyBum)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/137 "2003-08-18T19:09:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*\*\* Skybum \*\* you have a great career waiting for you in writing obsene children’s poetry. \*\* Heh. Now _there’s_ something I can be proud of… Napoleon Bonaparte: Never interrupt your enemy when he is making the mistake of placing an arm up his ass. Arthur Schopenhauer: All truth passes through four stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Fourth: It is rammed up our asses on a fist. Albert Einstein: Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. The arm in your ass, however, is very real. ---
**Author:** ![SkyBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SkyBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyBum)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/138 "2003-08-18T20:08:17Z")
Karl Marx: Religion… is the arm of the asses. Ralph Waldo Emerson: To different arms, the same world is a hell, and a heaven. Earl of Rosebery: I must plough my furrow alone. Abraham Lincoln: Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, put your arm up his ass. Friedrich Nietzsche: Wherever I climb I am followed by an arm called “Ego”. Mel Brooks: Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. Pain is when the almighty places his arm in your ass. ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/139 "2003-08-18T20:55:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Karl Marx: Religion… is the arm of the asses DAHAHAHAHA you deserve some kind of prize for that. Dr. Laura: So now you’re calling me to tell me you have an arm up your ass? Who stuck that arm up there in the first place? It was you who stuck that arm up there and now you’re calling me and whining, “Oh Dr. Laura, I have an arm up my ass.” ---
**Author:** ![BooksWoods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooksWoods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooksWoods)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/and-verily-the-lord-of-hosts-shalt-stick-his-arm-up-your-ass/195433/140 "2003-08-18T22:51:13Z")
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