# Andygirl, a proposal for you **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2000, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140 "2000-08-21T11:21:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/1 "2000-08-21T11:21:01Z")
Andygirl, I have a proposal for you. Would you marry me? OK,OK, aside from the obvious restraints (i.e. you’re a lesbian, I’m not a woman, you already have a GF) I believe that it could work. 1. I live on the otherside of the world to you. Therefore you ouldnt have to see me, and I would be very low maintenance. 2. Its pretty impractical to have a wedding ceromony, so we dont, thereby saving money (ditto, for the honeymoon) 3. You wont have to worry about having kids. 4. You will be able to halt unrequited come’ons by saying, “Sorry, I’m married” 5. It can give you the excuse to buy yourself a new ring, (or other jewlery) as a wedding present. or even a new CD. So, WADDAYOUTHINK?? disclaimer: I’m only joking Andygirl, just wanted to say that your fast becoming my favourite newbie!! ;)) ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/2 "2000-08-21T11:59:14Z")
Is this OP kinda like the Straight Dope equivilent of high school seniors hitting on all the freshman because they can’t get dates with other seniors? Larrigan can’t get a date! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/3 "2000-08-21T12:02:20Z")
Monster. Bite me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/4 "2000-08-21T13:10:16Z")
Wait, there’s one part I don’t understand - it gives **her** an excuse to buy a new ring? Surely you could send her a nice 1-2 carat ring via DHL? They DO have that in your country, yes? I will make a counter-proposal. I will offer to adopt andygirl and quietgirl both as my daughters, thus insuring that their love can blossom and continue under a happy, comfortable household. AND, I can drive off creeps that try to make passes at either of you, like, oh I don’t know… 🙂 Una ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/5 "2000-08-21T13:13:56Z")
Hi Una, I meant to chat to you on Saturday on #straightdope but didnt get much of a chance (on a friends PC) WE do have DHL, but I wouldnt want to pick a horrible wedding ring for someone I never met now would I? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/6 "2000-08-21T13:58:10Z")
Mr. Larrigan will lead you down a dark path andygirl. Marry me instead. I’m already married, but you’re a lesbian, so it kinda balances out. John is bad news. I’m the one for you. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/7 "2000-08-21T13:58:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JohnLarrigan \* > \*\*Hi Una, > > WE do have DHL, but I wouldnt want to pick a horrible wedding ring for someone I never met now would I? 😉 \*\* So you’d buy a horrible ring for someone you’d met? What’s wrong with just picking a nice one…? _men!_ ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/8 "2000-08-21T14:10:05Z")
fierra, me confused 😉 JimmyNipples, you schlock jock, I’d bet that Harry Chapin’s W.O.L.D. is your theme song!!! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/9 "2000-08-21T14:19:57Z")
No…Hary Chapin is a boob. Melissa Etheridge, k.d.lang, Indigo Girls and Ellen, (if she sang) are my favorites. See andygirl…this Larrigan guy is trouble. Marry me damn it. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/10 "2000-08-21T14:30:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JimmyNipples \* > \*\* > > Melissa Etheridge, k.d.lang, Indigo Girls and Ellen, (if she sang) are my favorites. > \*\* Way to target your demograph Jimmy!! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/11 "2000-08-21T15:01:12Z")
Ive dated a lot of lesbians. I Just try to see them as a person rather than as a sexual direction JL. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/12 "2000-08-21T15:07:08Z")
So Do I handy. It makes no differenct to me. I just wanted an interesting way to let her know that I enjoy her posts, other than the usual “You rock” threads. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/13 "2000-08-21T15:13:05Z")
> [@](#): > > I wouldnt want to pick a horrible wedding ring for someone I never met now would I? Oh come on, I know you’re just dying to buy the ring yourself – don’t all men love spending money on women? You’ve met me, haven’t you? And I’m thinking I could really use the Irish equivalent of a green card. Why don’t you just marry me instead and forget about this lesbian business? ---
**Author:** ![Nurlman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Nurlman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nurlman)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/14 "2000-08-21T15:14:08Z")
**John** , your sham proposal was just so touching that I feel the need to offer my services as a sham officiant for your sham marriage. Allow me to introduce myself. Through the good graces of the [Universal Life Church](http://www.ulc.org), I’m proud to be the Head Pastor of the Spouting Rock Interfaith Church and Conference Center. Our fine institution has been saving souls and pouring coffee for nearly a decade, and in that time, not one of our parishoners has ever been damned to Hell, as far as we know. We offer a variety of sham-marriage packages for your convenience, or you and your betrothed can have a ceremony custom-tailored to reflect only those vows you might wish to think about maybe considering honoring towards each other, if you want to. You can choose to have your union blessed by Yaweh, Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Vishnu, Baal, the Kami, Odin, Gaia, the IPU, J.R. “Bob” Dobbs, Cthulhu, or a special all-star panel of secular humanists. Because the Spouting Rock Interfaith Church and Conference Center respects your privacy, you can rest assured that your blessed marriage will not be recorded in any document on file with any government agency, and I will categorically deny any knowledge of it once the ceremony is over and I’ve completed the final ritual of the 19 Tequila Shots. In your case, because you’re marrying a spoken-for lesbian in another country that you’ve never met, I recommend our special Martina Navratilova Package. It comes with the standard blessing of the coupling(s), vows by yourself and **andygirl** to remain loving and faithful towards each other so long as you both shall feel like it (subject, of course, to her someday deciding that she likes men in general and you in particular), and a special, touching segment where **andygirl** passionately makes out with her girlfriend in front of our congregation and their camcorders while you and I go back in the vestry and drink beer. So, **John** , if that is your real name, and frankly, we don’t really give a crap if it’s not, I hope that you will consider entrusting your Sacred and Eternal Union (optional Non-Eternal Unions are available for a small additional fee) to the Spouting Rock Interfaith Church and Conference Center, “Your Broadband Connection to Eternal Salvation.” Let me know if I should start consecrating the icons and thawing the mini-quiche… Rev. Ezeikel Canaan Overbite (Mrs.) ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/15 "2000-08-21T15:21:44Z")
Nurlman, does your church allow polygamy? Porpentine’s proposal is like a Mafia contract: An offer I cant refuse!!! ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/16 "2000-08-21T15:25:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\*I will make a counter-proposal. I will offer to adopt andygirl and quietgirl both as my daughters, thus insuring that their love can blossom and continue under a happy, comfortable household. AND, I can drive off creeps that try to make passes at either of you, like, oh I don’t know… > > 🙂 > > Una\*\* Oh please, Oh please, Oh please, Oh please, Oh please, Oh please, Oh please, Oh please, can I be a fly on the wall in that household? Maybe let me set up a few _Big Brother_ style cameras and microphones? I’ll be a perfect gentleman I promise. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/17 "2000-08-21T17:04:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Omniscient \* > I’ll be a perfect gentleman I promise. \*\* \ Contradiction in terms, isn’t it? \ ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/18 "2000-08-21T17:14:08Z")
Rats! Too late again! JohnLarrigan, since we already have a relationship (you helped me name my dog…remember?) I think you should marry me. For most of the same reasons as you gave Andygirl. And I LIKE men. I mean, I REALLY like men!! ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/19 "2000-08-23T04:53:05Z")
**TwistOfFate,** First of all, you committed the cardinal sin of capitalizing my name. 😉 I’m a favorite newbie? Damn… _jawdrop_ You like me! You really like me! (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.) Darling, as flattered as I am by your proposal, I’m not going to accept right away. You first must court me. And since you have JimmyNipples also vying for my hand, this is going to get interesting. Everyone, break out the chocolate- we’re in for a long haul. Nurlman, what floral arrangement do you suggest? Una, I accept your arrangement. (I’m going to email you back soon- I’ve just been too busy posting here. ;)) Omnicient: I’m going to tell you a secret. come closer. _ **Lesbian sex is nothing like pornos.** _ Sorry, but the most that you’d ever see as a fly is some smooching. I’m not going to break out with a nine inch dildo and some chains. Oh, and most lesbians have really short nails. 🙂 \ Last night quietgirl came over. We made sugar cookies. At two in the morning. It was great. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140/20 "2000-08-23T05:08:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > _ **Lesbian sex is nothing like pornos.** _ > \*\* Personally, I’d _still_ like to be a fly on that wall. The sexiest thing in the world is watching a girls face when she, er, climaxes. I figure: two girls, twice as many faces to watch… Of course, it’s best if _I’m_ causing the faces, but still… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/andygirl-a-proposal-for-you/30140.md?page=2)