# Angelic Lifting Capacity

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984>\
**Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\
**Created:** [June 14, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984 "2013-06-14T13:23:20Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 14\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/1 "2013-06-14T13:23:20Z")

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I noticed a decided secular cast in the June 14, 2013 column: [How many houseflies would it take to lift me?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/3111/how-many-houseflies-would-it-take-to-lift-me)

So my question is how many angels does it take to carry a person to Heaven? And can I use eagles, etc. if the angels fail to show up?

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**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/2 "2013-06-14T13:26:53Z")

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According to the encyclopedic _A Dictionary of Angels_, many Hebraic scholars thought that an angel can transport up to 400 people at once. YMMV.

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**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/3 "2013-06-14T13:30:44Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> “Where are you getting this from?"
> 
> “Wikipedia,” I said.
> 
> “You said not to use Wikipedia.”
> 
> “I said \*you \*couldn’t use Wikipedia.

Words to live by.

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**Author:** ![naguere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@naguere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naguere)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/4 "2013-06-14T14:10:41Z")

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> [@whitetho](#):
>
> I noticed a decided secular cast in the June 14, 2013 column: [How many houseflies would it take to lift me?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/3111/how-many-houseflies-would-it-take-to-lift-me)
> 
> So my question is how many angels does it take to carry a person to Heaven? And can I use eagles, etc. if the angels fail to show up?

As a new adherent of The Jehovah’s Witnesses, it seems to me that you will not be whisked up to heaven under this system of things.

However… The time is not far off.

This is my very first post to your excellent site. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/5 "2013-06-14T14:16:02Z")

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> [@naguere](#):
>
> As a new adherent of The Jehovah’s Witnesses, it seems to me that you will not be whisked up to heaven under this system of things.
> 
> However… The time is not far off.
> 
> This is my very first post to your excellent site. 🙂

Welcome, welcome, welcome! Enjoy yourself.

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**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/6 "2013-06-14T14:53:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> So what’s the deal, Tanya? You’re in Cincinnati bound for Newark, and they just announced a four-hour delay for your flight?

Damn [American Airlines](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=693539)strikes again!

> [@](#):
>
> 1. We know it’s possible to harness fly lifting power because of an inventive and evidently somewhat disturbed aircraft modeler named Frank Ehling, who constructed tiny balsa-wood-and-tissue-paper airplanes powered by houseflies. He would catch one or more flies and stun (or freeze) them, dab glue on their rear ends, and stick them to the plane. When the flies recovered (or warmed up), they buzzed away, pulling the little planes aloft. Two of these aircraft currently reside in the Smithsonian.

I saw this done back in college. Pretty cool.

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**Author:** ![BeamReacher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BeamReacher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeamReacher)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/7 "2013-06-14T14:54:24Z")

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I’m surprised that Cecil did not differentiate between the lifting power of a European sparrow vs. its African counterpart. If King Arthur can be counted on to remember these things, surely the world’s smartest human can be :-).

Beam

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**Author:** ![Old\_Blue\_Eyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Old\_Blue\_Eyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Old_Blue_Eyes)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/8 "2013-06-14T16:55:55Z")

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He could have just asked Studebaker Hawk. He flew with flies by spreading maple syrup all up an down the inside of his legs until he fell off Billy The Mountain’s mouth.

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**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/9 "2013-06-14T19:10:39Z")

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> [@Old\_Blue\_Eyes](#):
>
> He could have just asked Studebaker Hawk. He flew with flies by spreading maple syrup all up an down the inside of his legs until he fell off Billy The Mountain’s mouth.

Unless those thighs were HUGE, it’s unlikely that would have been enough normal flies. Just read the number is the column.

I would say they musta been Super Flies, but that’d be a different movie entirely.

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**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/10 "2013-06-14T19:20:11Z")

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> [@whitetho](#):
>
> So my question is how many angels does it take to carry a person to Heaven? And can I use eagles, etc. if the angels fail to show up?

Dwight: Very good! You have earned one Schrute Buck.  
Stanley: I don’t want it.  
Dwight: Then you have been deducted 50 Schrute Bucks!  
Stanley: Make it 100.  
Dwight: We— Don’t you wanna earn Schrute Bucks?  
Stanley: No. In fact, I’ll give you a billion Stanley Nickels if you never talk to me again.  
Dwight: What’s the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks?  
Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.

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**Author:** ![Powers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Powers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Powers)\
**Post date:** [June 14, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/11 "2013-06-14T20:55:49Z")

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Whoa, this sounds like something Randall Munroe would have calculated up.  
Powers &8^]

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**Author:** ![Mr.Fantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Mr.Fantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Fantastic)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/12 "2013-06-15T00:20:51Z")

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What about swallows?

King Arthur found coconuts that were supposedly carried by swallows, although not African swallows because they don’t migrate and couldn’t bring back a coconut anyway.

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**Author:** ![nion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nion)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2013, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/13 "2013-06-15T03:51:36Z")

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> [@BeamReacher](#):
>
> I’m surprised that Cecil did not differentiate between the lifting power of a European sparrow vs. its African counterpart. If King Arthur can be counted on to remember these things, surely the world’s smartest human can be :-).
> 
> Beam

Curses! You beat me to it! LOL Though I do have to point out it was a swallow, not a sparrow.

I came racing here after reading the article to point out this very omission. 🙂

I agree it would have been very fitting of the subject.

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**Author:** ![Old\_Blue\_Eyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Old\_Blue\_Eyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Old_Blue_Eyes)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/angelic-lifting-capacity/660984/14 "2013-06-17T17:07:00Z")

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He was in a phone booth and had shut the F’n door. They couldn’t have been too big!
