You eliminate the hard to train ones from the breeding stock.
There’s also what my old Granny used to say. “Most kids quit crapping their pants by kindergarten age”
There were times when I was at the elementary school, volunteering, and I cursed my old Granny and her foolish statements.
I think the Spotted hyena might be interesting as an alternative to dogs. The obvious drawback is that they are huge and deadly, so the penalty for failure is severe. But they are highly social and hierarchical, so as with dogs I suspect that if raised from birth and bred for favorable characteristics they could come to see their human as pack leader.
The main motivation would be that they have such flexible hunting and feeding strategies, they are consummate opportunists, so I suspect that they might be more intelligent (or have more flexible intelligence) than dogs.
What risk? They fly all over the world and bring you back information. Better than Twitter.
Yep. Rap, rap rapping at my door. I suspect I can do without that.
But they could be taught to steal nice sparkly diamonds off rich ladies ears. And bring them to me. Me me me. Yes me. 
Nah – dangerous paint, like lead-based, has been phased out for years now. Current paint is , if not nutritious or tasty, at least non-life-threatening.
A spotted hyena is the type of pet you’d give your mother-in-law.
Wolves are far more intelligent than dogs. Dogs do not need to be that smart. Many people who mistakenly bought a Border Collie puppy would agree. We do not want duplication of our own strengths in our domesticates, we want complements. With dogs it is short-distance speed, their sense of smell and to a lesser extent, hearing. We gots all the brains needed.
A guy in New york had one in his apt he had raised from a pup. He tried to put a leash on it and it snapped his arm with one bite. They have one of the strongest bites in nature.
That’s true of wolves/dogs, however hyenas are more closely related to cats than dogs. Hyenas and cats diverged from a common ancestor ~30 million years ago. Hyenas and dogs diverged ~60 million years ago. And hyenas are very smart—they solve problems, cooperate, think ahead, and can even count.
The females also have a usable penis.
Well, there’s that.
Still, not jonesing for one (a hyena, I mean).
A woman I knew bought one on impulse from a pet store in New York. When she tried to return it the next day they pointed out the “no returns” sign. She tried returning it again, with no expectation of getting her money back. Nope.
It was a male. He spent most of his day masturbating. Anytime she approached the cage it would fling poo at her. It became ill, so she took it to the Animal Medical Center where they diagnosed it with a large gastric hairball which they removed endoscopically.
She eventually found someone with previous galago experience who took the animal (but did not pay her a cent).
Nitpicking - it’s actually an elongated clitoris. Through which they give birth, ouch. It’s why they have a high death rate among cubs and first time mothers.
They do urinate through the pseudopenis, so in that sense it’s “usable”. But as you say for intercourse and birthing it’s a bug rather than a feature.
They’ll bring you the information they feel like bringing. They’ll take to others of their choice the information about you they feel like bringing to them. They might well feel that they ought to be in control of the humans, not the other way around.
Much of that is indeed rather like Twitter/X, come to think of it.
State of the world argues otherwise.
You just had to go there.
My friend used to feed peanuts to the squirrels in his yard. He demonstrated this one beautiful summer day I came over. It was all cute and Disneyesque until he said “ok, I think that’s enough for today, guys”.
As he rolled the bag of peanuts closed, about a dozen squirrels started advancing on us menacingly, as we slowly backed up toward the house. He reopened the bag and threw a couple more peanuts out in an attempt to appease them, and they viciously fought each other for the remaining few peanuts, squealing and snarling at each other. We took took the opportunity of that diversion to escape into the house.
Not that same day, but maybe a few days later that summer, he told me a squirrel broke through the screen of their kitchen window, presumably looking for more peanuts. Adorable? Ha. Not when they turn on you.
Am I the only one who likes squirrels here?? Should I just pick another type of cute critter? Raccoons, maybe?
I love squirrels. We have squirrel feeders and our property is a release point for squirrels rehabbed by a wildlife center
That said, feeding them from your hand is nuts. Everyone I’ve ever known who had a squirrel that would take peanuts from their hand has eventually been bitten.
Raccoons? Big nope due to rabies virus.
Squirrel are jerks. Fickle and evil.
They go around looking all cute and chittering so sweet. Then you go on your deck to sit and step on pecan shells they’ve placed right where you’ll step barefoot. Worse than the Lego on the rug at midnight, I tell you what.
They befriend you and run up and down the deck rail entertaining your dogs. While the multitude of the family raid your bird feeders.
Chew up your flower pots. Dig up your tulip bulbs. Take one bite outta 20 peaches hanging from the tree.
Get in your garage and tear up everything and eat all the cat food. And the insulation in the ceiling is their maternity ward.
Run up and down log walls. Well, I’ve actually not found this harms much unless you look out your upstairs window and they’re little peeping toms. Disconcerting.
I still love them.