# Animals vs. Man - who wins? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 17, 2005, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956 "2005-03-17T06:50:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956/41 "2005-03-19T08:57:52Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > When’s the last time you went to a city park and every living thing in it was driven by an overpowering urge to rip you to pieces? > > I’m guessing things would be much different. Nevermind me. I was being stupid for the second part of that post. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956/42 "2005-03-19T17:52:56Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > If you live in any major North American city, there’s probably a thousand or more raccoons living within a thousand yards of your house, plus the squirrels, rats, mice, groundhogs, and skunks. I’m sorry, but I think the idea of a thousand or more raccoons living within a thousand miles of my place in _Brooklyln_ is hysterical. I’m imagining them all right now. . . I think it’s great. I wish it were true. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956/43 "2005-03-19T17:59:38Z")
That should have read a thousand _yards_, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Dr.Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Love)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956/44 "2005-03-19T20:06:43Z")
I think we would win. Handily. One question: What animals have the cognitive and communicational faculties to organize an effective assault? Answer: us. Many in the pro-animal crowd are assuming that animals are basically as smart as we are. They’re not. Anything capable of any real thought could be defeated with sturdy walls and a roof, technology we’ve had for thousands of years. Nothing else will change very much. The principle problem we’ll be facing is weapons distribution. Once we get forces prepared, it’s all over. > [@Loopydude](#): > > Currently they’re [insects] milling about more or less at random. If they really got organized, kiss your ass goodbye. Exactly, _if_ they get organized. But the situation doesn’t postulate massive increases in insect intelligence. How many insects (or arachnids, etc) are even capable of telling the difference between a human and a duck (I suppose they might check if the quacks echo or not 😃 )? If they can’t do that, then what are we worried about? > [@Sage Rat](#): > > What are we considering as animals? There are various organisms cohabitting in and on my body that I require the cooperation of to sustain life (as I understand it.) If those decide they hate me and go on strike then I and 100% of every other human else dies right there. I don’t think cooperation is quite the right word to describe what’s happening, though I’m in no way qualified to give a real analysis. What’s happening is more like chaos, kept in equilibrium by a variety of forces. The things living inside us are already acting 100% selfishly, and I strongly doubt that they can even conceive of the concept of going on strike. Advantage: us. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956/45 "2005-03-20T01:43:32Z")
> [@faldureon](#): > > I am sure we’ll be able to come up with some kind of a heavier-then-air gas that would go down their holes and kill them. Nope, we’d still have to worry about [Nazi groundhogs.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=15906&highlight=nazi+groundhogs) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956/46 "2005-03-24T04:46:01Z")
I can’t believe no one made any mention to _Animal Farm_! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956/47 "2005-03-24T17:37:21Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > Nope, we’d still have to worry about [Nazi groundhogs.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=15906&highlight=nazi+groundhogs) :eek: OH NO! Not these guys again!. Maybe we should lure them out, freeze them and launch them into space with a giant PVC canon? Or does that only work with goats? Well either way that’ll be one less mammal to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956/48 "2005-03-24T17:37:59Z")
What about today’s super animals. . .like the flying squirrel, and the electric eel? \ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/animals-vs-man-who-wins/294956.md?page=2)