# Ann Coulter and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad USA Today
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 29, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458 "2004-07-29T17:28:56Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/41 "2004-07-29T21:15:40Z")
> [@Debaser](#):
>
> I read Ann, I don’t usually watch her. However, the times I have seen her have been on Bill Maher’s show “Politically Incorrect”. Her delivery and manerisms was about what I would expect. She wasn’t ranting the same way she does in her columns. But, she seemed fully able to grasp the concept of humor. I really don’t remember too much about it, I haven’t seen her on TV in quite some time.
```
As I said, I heard Coulter on O'Reilly. She did not come off as someone who was joking, rather she was very defensive and shrill. Rather like a prom queen who the teachers have caught making cruel jokes at the nerdy kids. She sees it as her right as one of the "popular girls" to debase those she sees as beneath her.
I have indeed read Coulter, and from what I have read, and heard, I see no indication that she is satirizing anything. She takes herself far too seriously for that. She may have been able to grasp the concept of humor on the Maher show, but from what I have heard and read recently, she has lost that ability.
```
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/42 "2004-07-29T21:20:38Z")
> [@jk1245](#):
>
> The editors at USA Today probably had a much harder time reading Coulter’s column in its original Crayon rendition.
Since when has USA Today had readers on the editorial staff? The real reason they rejected Coulter’s column is that they couldn’t figure out a way to make a pie chart out of it.
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### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/43 "2004-07-29T21:32:43Z")
> [@Miller](#):
>
> Since when has USA Today had readers on the editorial staff? The real reason they rejected Coulter’s column is that they couldn’t figure out a way to make a pie chart out of it.
😃 Just stick a wagon under it and you’re set.
Daniel
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### Author:  [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/44 "2004-07-29T21:43:47Z")
As one of the corn fed, economically if not literally, I can’t help but wonder what Ms. Coulter had to say about Woopie Goldberg.
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### Author:  [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/45 "2004-07-29T22:01:27Z")
> [@Spavined Gelding](#):
>
> As one of the corn fed, economically if not literally, I can’t help but wonder what Ms. Coulter had to say about Woopie Goldberg.
```
Ohh! I smell pay-per-view event here!
```
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### Author:  [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/46 "2004-07-29T22:03:49Z")
Well, crap. We’re never going to be best friends now. Stupid, dumb, pretty girl allies. ☹
Koee
Corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie hick pie wagon™, emeritus
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### Author:  [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/47 "2004-07-29T22:04:03Z")
> [@Debaser](#):
>
> **carrot** regarding your quotes from the article: You do understand that it’s supposed to be _comedy_, right?
>
> I know I’ll get slammed for daring to defend at any level something that Ann Coulter does, but here goes… She isn’t trying to be taken literally and seriously, IMHO. She is being funny, outragious, and hyperbolic. Nobody is taking her seriously. Posting quotes of her like people do on the SDMB is like posting quotes from Lewis Black on the Daily Show and being outraged at them. It’s a _joke_, people. Sheesh. YMMV, MHO, etc, etc.
Do you defend racist comedy made by KKK members? Where it can either be taken semi-seriously or as a joke, or both?
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### Author:  [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/48 "2004-07-29T22:05:17Z")
> [@Debaser](#):
>
> I read Ann, I don’t usually watch her. However, the times I have seen her have been on Bill Maher’s show “Politically Incorrect”. Her delivery and manerisms was about what I would expect. She wasn’t ranting the same way she does in her columns. But, she seemed fully able to grasp the concept of humor.
Really? I’ve seen her on Maher as well, and bits and pieces of O’Reilly interviews. She struck me, similarly to **Sweetums** , as defensive and pretty well humorless.
> [@Debaser](#):
>
> I really don’t remember too much about it, I haven’t seen her on TV in quite some time.
Thank God for small favors, eh?
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/49 "2004-07-29T22:08:32Z")
[For those having difficulty reaching her website](http://www.townhall.com/columnists/anncoulter/ac20040726.shtml).
“Like, oh my god, the dems are like, soooo ugly, like okay!!! Like, fer sure!!!”
It reads like a confiscated note passed during 8th grade study hall.
(I always thought “cornfed” alluded to being sort of healthy, all-American farm girl/boy looking. Was I wrong?)
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### Author:  [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/50 "2004-07-29T22:13:44Z")
The sad thing is, there are lots of people who would have cheerfully skewered the DNC _and been funny_: P.J. O"Rourke, Chris Buckley, Joe Queenan, John Welter, James Lileks (not in the same league, but probably up to it). The problems with Coulter’s column as a humor piece are:
A) She was supposed to be funny covering the DNC. _She didn’t do it_. There are no facts reported, no quotes recorded. She could have written this at home the day before the convention. That’s a no-no. Political humor has to be topical.
B) Insults can be funny, but there are rules. Rule 1: You have to include some self-deprecation too. Al Franken is good at this, he knows that you have to slam yourself a little in order to slam your target a lot. Ann will have non of this - she’s the smart, pretty one. Rule 2: Insults based on physical appearance usually aren’t funny. Rule 3: Breaking **both** 1 & 2 is deadly. Imagine a woman comic whose schtick was “I’m pretty hot but what’s up with all you smelly unwashed fat badly dressed ugly people?” Funny.
C) If you want your essay to be viewed as humor, it would help if it were at all stylistically different from what you wrote when you claimed to be serious.
D) **Muad’Dib** said it first, but I thought of Andy Kaufman too. It is conceivable that she’s just created an outrageous persona and is willing to ride it over the nearest cliff. I doubt it, because she drops out of character too much, and because you don’t do that\* and \* tell people you’re only joking.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/51 "2004-07-29T23:16:44Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#):
>
> D) **Muad’Dib** said it first, but I thought of Andy Kaufman too. It is conceivable that she’s just created an outrageous persona and is willing to ride it over the nearest cliff. I doubt it, because she drops out of character too much, and because you don’t do that\* and \* tell people you’re only joking.
If that’s the case, the I’d request everyone to keep in mind that, when I call her a shrill, delusional, hypocritical harpy, I’m not actually angry at her, I’m part of the performance.
---
### Author:  [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2004, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/52 "2004-07-29T23:39:17Z")
What she really is is the female Andrew Dice Clay, if she’s just “putting on a performance”. Or maybe Dice had the, you know, surgery? Anybody seen him lately?
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### Author:  [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2004, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/53 "2004-07-30T00:10:35Z")
> [@trandallt](#):
>
> What she really is is the female Andrew Dice Clay, if she’s just “putting on a performance”. Or maybe Dice had the, you know, surgery? Anybody seen him lately?
Naw, couldn’t be the Diceman. Not enough blowjob jokes.
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/54 "2004-07-30T00:23:54Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#):
>
> Who reads USA Today besides disc jockeys and people in airports?
Hey! They’ve got a pretty good sports section. And besides, today’s edition has a big spread on Kacey Long’s journey through the trauma of breast implants.
Coulter on the convention might’ve been more entertaining than her replacement, Jonah Goldberg, who is flailing around in a desperate attempt at witticism but not altogether succeeding. His take on Howard Dean:
“Dean actually gave a podium-thumper of a diatribe in Cambridge at a left-wing event just hours before his convention yawner. There, he screamed like a man on a three-state killing spree, denouncing the Bush White House ‘that likes book burning more than reading books’”.
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2004, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/55 "2004-07-30T01:27:03Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> (I always thought “cornfed” alluded to being sort of healthy, all-American farm girl/boy looking. Was I wrong?)
No, but there’s an undertone of the urbanite’s disdain for rustics in i’s usage. “Corn-fed” types are simple-minded and easily pleased. Compare the related “corny,” which started out as a sort of idiomatic term used by theatrical critics to deride acts, dialogue or gags that seemed designed to appeal to audiences in the corn belt. (As opposed to “witty” and “cosmopolitan”.)
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/56 "2004-07-30T01:40:58Z")
Either that, or she was making an uber-hip allusion to the character Cornfed in the cartoon series _Duckman_.
But no, I still think she meant it like “cornfed pig” as an allusion to “sow”.
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/57 "2004-07-30T01:59:29Z")
At any rate, it serves to demonstrate that it’s never wise to mix metaphors or medications.
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### Author:  [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2004, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/58 "2004-07-30T04:25:03Z")
Well, if you want to talk “people who created public personas to pursue their agenda,” two people spring to mind – Andy Kaufman and Hunter S. Thompson.
Andy Kaufman had lots of people wondering about HIS sanity. But, then, he didn’t claim to be a pundit, or to know anything about politics. He was a comedian and performance artist, that’s all.
Hunter Thompson, on the other hand, is something of a pundit and has written extensively about politics. Then again, even when his prose reaches the point of madness at which ink vaporizes, Thompson has always made a point of skewering _both sides_. He’s never played favorites.
I find Coulter kind of creepy because not only does the woman faintly radiate sheer red waves of poison hatred, but that hate is directed entirely in one direction – non-Republicans, people who, for whatever reason, do not support the current GOP agenda, whatever it may be.
I mean, I was taught to hate the sin, not the sinner. To hate women for being women is misogyny, and it is evil. To hate black folks for being black is racism, and it is evil.
Who are these\* “liberals,” \* that it is noble and right and perfectly acceptable to hate them and defame them so venomously and vigorously as Ann Coulter does?
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### Author:  [@infamousmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/infamousmom)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2004, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/59 "2004-07-30T04:47:00Z")
> [@Time Stranger](#):
>
> I have to say, the idea that Ugly People (who may or may not be stinky) are exclusive to the Democratic party made me laugh for a really, really long time.
Eee-yup. Just remember those GOP beauty contest winners Phyllis Schlafly, Strom Thurmond, Jesse Helms and Spiro T. Agnew.
---
### Author:  [@Club\_33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Club_33)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2004, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ann-coulter-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-usa-today/257458/60 "2004-07-30T05:43:49Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#):
>
> That’s a LIE! a LIE! You’re DISHONEST! and a LIAR! I will start a website called [evelies.com](http://evelies.com) to expose your DISHONEST LYING LIES! How dare you refer to your post as a documentary when it LIES and is nothing more than anti-American PROPOGANDA and LIES! LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES!!!
>
> She didn’t compare them to Satan, she compared them to the Spawn of Satan.
Your footnote was very Franken-esque. 🙂
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