# Anna Nicole Show - REVIEW **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 5, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365 "2002-08-05T02:14:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/61 "2002-08-08T15:34:57Z")
Yeah, on those endless Stern promos she’s always saying two years… ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/62 "2002-08-08T16:40:15Z")
I think that Mr. Stewart of the Daily Show expressed it quite well last night: “Put down the camera and _help her_.” And **Eve** , if you don’t stop waving that razor sharp wit around, someone’s gonna get drenched in silicone. ---
**Author:** ![KismetRose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@KismetRose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KismetRose)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/63 "2002-08-08T17:03:40Z")
What bothers me is that the show might actually stay on for a long time if people keep tuning in. The ratings will bolster the show, even if the critics yell that it sucks from the mountaintops. People are watching out of fascination and the car-wreck instinct. Some are watching to see how bad it can get. The ratings will keep the show alive, people. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it, for bog’s sake. Let it sink quickly. [On a weird side note: her smile really bothers me. She has these big teeth and her upper lip moves back to reveal her huge gums when she smiles. It’s abhorrent!] ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/64 "2002-08-08T17:04:11Z")
OK I’ve watched some of the clips on the E! web site a few times now, and I can’t stop pissing my pants laughing. SOMEONE, ANYONE, benevolent Doper… tape this show for me! I’ll pay for the tapes and postage… This is classic stuff. Sad, but classic. She thought a candle was candy. I wonder if the people showing her the house were mortified or trying to hold back their laughter, or both. [size=1]Then again, I’m a bit like that when I mix beer and my meds… :eek:[/size=1] ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/65 "2002-08-10T12:06:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Wrong Girl \* > \*\*Usually, I watch every reality show to come down the pike, but this one, I turned off after ten minutes. It just seemed so painful and MEAN to watch this woman self-destruct like that. I’m trying to differentiate between her and Ozzy in this sense, and it just seems like Ozzy has more people around him that love him and want to care for him. Anna’s got her son, and (maybe) her freaky assistant, but everyone else affiliated with her just seems so skeezy. \*\* Another factor is that Ozzy started out as a person of above-average intelligence. So now, when he’s able to scrape together his few remaining brain cells, they still work. But it seems that Anna Nicole was **always** riding the short bus. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2002, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/66 "2002-08-10T12:07:18Z")
And I would agree that it’s sad that she doesn’t seem to have real friends other than her son, and maybe not even him…but whose fault is that, really? ---
**Author:** ![jmpride62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmpride62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmpride62)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/67 "2002-08-11T21:27:30Z")
Woo hoo! I just checked the TV listings and a repeat of the carnage is on in 6 minutes so I get to see this. I can’t wait. Hope it’s as bad as everyone is saying 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/68 "2002-08-11T22:09:18Z")
It’s people like you, **jmpride62** who are gonna keep this crap on the air for the next month! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/69 "2002-08-11T23:13:00Z")
Agreed. This shit needs to die quickly but “E”, regardless of the enormous contribution they make to our culture, are only interested in one thing - ratings - and it take viewers to get ratings. If ANS were going to blow her brains out they would start an ad campaign. Don’t watch it. I really, really sucks. ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/70 "2002-08-12T02:38:01Z")
Its Bread and Circuses. Episode 2: When she put a quarter in her assistant and rode her, was that a look of pure unbridled lesbian lust on Kim’s part? Showing the new house to the ashes of her dead husband was weird, sad and scary. Her decorator makes me want to do a hate crime. ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/71 "2002-08-12T03:05:04Z")
I’m convinced her decorator is secretly the most brilliant con man on earth. Think about it: You’ve got a client with far-below-average intelligence, more money than she knows what to do with, and a lust for all things tacky and able to be made cheap. Tell me he’s not cutting into the bill a little. And Kim has some kind of slutty white-trash Texan fetish. That, IMHO, is the only possible explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/72 "2002-08-12T03:17:41Z")
Agreed re the decorator. Total con coming on. How about some $100/yd leopard print Ms. Smith? How about we silk screen your face on all the chairs Ms. Smith? How about this insane chair thing that is fucking huge for $10,000 Ms. Smith? Great sign here!!! Did you like the way he said “We’ll get started right now, today in fact!” And honestly, the “half the ashes” bit is weirding me out, I must say it was a classy touch to put him on the TV though. ANS in the Trashy Lingerie store made me want to vomit. ---
**Author:** ![jmpride62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmpride62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmpride62)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/73 "2002-08-12T11:09:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*It’s people like you, **jmpride62** who are gonna keep this crap on the air for the next month! 🙂 \*\* Actually missed the rerun, but caught part of the second (?) program. Watching the dog hump the stuffed animal did it for me. This is REALLY bad stuff. :eek: Hopefully, the program will evolve over time and make better use of Ms. Smith’s ample comedic and dramatic talents. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/74 "2002-08-12T11:58:44Z")
huh huh… you said ‘ample’ The only way this will come off the air is if people don’t watch it. I wonder if anyone’s taken the time to protest it, a la Married with Children? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/75 "2002-08-12T13:00:39Z")
I’ve got the theme song running through my head (they sure play it enough), but I hear it as “Anna, Anna, glamorous Anna, out of control!” Really pissed at E!. Mr. Rilch and I wanted to show the last rebroadcast of the first episode to Friend this afternoon, but it wasn’t on, even though the “info” button on the cable box kept insisting that the Louie Anderson profile we were watching was, in fact, Anna Nicole. (Now there’s someone in whom I **really** have no interest.) But Friend and I did see the second episode. —Said he: “Look how much makeup she slathers on…to do nothing all day!” —Said I: “Why am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Look at all the other strippers who’ve dreamed of fame and fortune and didn’t get either one.” —Next week will show her participating in an eating contest. I think the producers are scrambling for situations that will make her look bad. —Said Mr. Rilch, before retiring, “The last segment of the other episode was kinda scary. She was on a diving board, and you could tell everyone was terrified, because if she fell in, she would just sink to the bottom and stay there. Not because of her weight, either: because of all the drugs in her system.” —Her breasts are scary, too. Did my eyes deceive me, or did I see the real nipple trapped underneath the skin? —Friend reminded me that ANS OD’ed once. That explains a lot. —After the train wreck, we switched over to The Osbournes. I never thought that show would be a welcome dose of normality. —Mr. Rilch says I do a pretty good imitation of her. Shudder… ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/76 "2002-08-12T13:05:11Z")
[Actually, that Louie Anderson thing was a THS on Family Feud, and I thought it was excellent - showed the controlling Dawson, the despondent Combs, and the scandalized Anderson.] ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365/77 "2002-08-12T14:46:24Z")
I, too, noticed some sort of anomaly on her breast. It was almost as though some sort of fluid had pooled right beneath her skin forming an abnormal blister-like structure. Very odd… Again, I, too, noticed her assistant seemed to be in _heaven_ when Anna was bouncing on her. She wears the _worst_ items of clothing for someone her size, by the way. I’m not saying she should wear tents, but those clingy dresses have _got_ to go! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-show-review/122365.md?page=3)