# Anna Nicole Smith reportedly collapsed, possibly dead **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 8, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408 "2007-02-08T20:51:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/121 "2007-02-10T14:00:47Z")
[QUOTE=Batsinma Belfry] Commemorative plates would be _interesting_. [/QUOTE] Maybe commemorative jello molds 😛 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/122 "2007-02-10T15:15:13Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] For those of you who thought (wrongly!) that this story could not get more bizarre, Anna Nichol’s half-sister is saying the baby was conceived with semen from Anna Nicole’s dead husband! [/QUOTE] You mean the old geezer or her first husband (who was Danny’s father)? Eww to either but if the child is the biological child of the old geezer then I could see ANS doing that to ensure her share of the $$. Bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/123 "2007-02-10T15:26:28Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] You mean the old geezer or her first husband (who was Danny’s father)? Eww to either but if the child is the biological child of the old geezer then I could see ANS doing that to ensure her share of the $$. Bizarre. [/QUOTE] The Old Geezer. And the only thing that could be more bizarre is if Danny killed himself because HE was the baby’s father. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/124 "2007-02-10T15:31:02Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] For those of you who thought (wrongly!) that this story could not get more bizarre, Anna Nichol’s half-sister is saying the baby was conceived with semen from Anna Nicole’s dead husband! [/QUOTE] I stand corrected. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/125 "2007-02-10T15:37:40Z")
[QUOTE=Equipoise] I’m a feminist and I agree with this, 100%. It kind of pisses me off to hear ANS called a “golddigger.” That’s an insult to her husband who knew exactly what he wanted (a young, amiable blonde with big boobs) and exactly where he wanted his money to go after he kicked off (not to his golddigger relatives). [/QUOTE] Now, I’ve been looking around a little, and I came across info I was inexplicably not aware of: ANS was not mentioned in the old man’s will. The son who died last year was. ANS and another relative brought suit on the basis that the inheriting son had verbally promised to split the money with them, but old Marshall left her nothing, officially. For some reason, I had always thought it was the other way around. That she had inherited the bulk, and the relatives were angry and trying to get a piece of it. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/126 "2007-02-10T15:37:43Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] For those of you who thought (wrongly!) that this story could not get more bizarre, Anna Nichol’s half-sister is saying the baby was conceived with semen from Anna Nicole’s dead husband! [/QUOTE] If so, who’s left to take care of the little girl? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/127 "2007-02-10T15:45:24Z")
Since the ANS-death story broke, the cable news networks have mentioned it [three to six times as often as the Iraq War.](http://www.motherjones.com/mojoblog/archives/2007/02/3514_anna_nicole_smi.html) God bless America! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/128 "2007-02-10T17:52:38Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Since the ANS-death story broke, the cable news networks have mentioned it [three to six times as often as the Iraq War.](http://www.motherjones.com/mojoblog/archives/2007/02/3514_anna_nicole_smi.html) God bless America! [/QUOTE] Well, you know, how many different ways can you report the same story? (“This is a clusterfuck.”) The media must be thrilled to have something else to focus on. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/129 "2007-02-10T18:29:26Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] The coroner said that they frequently find no pills in the stomach of a suicide. It’s the blood levels that will determine if she ingested too much dope. [/QUOTE] Which coroner? [CNN](http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/09/smith.dies/index.html) reports: > [@](#): > > The medical examiner said his office is awaiting results of toxicological and other tests, but there were no drugs in Smith’s stomach. > > He said if she had taken a large number of pills, some of the medicine would have remained in the stomach. I wonder if she could have vomited up any of the residue that they would be looking for. That one tabloid report said that she choked on her own vomit, so if the nurse cleared it before trying to revive her, they’d have to test the towels and whatnot. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/130 "2007-02-10T19:57:15Z")
This stage is the most irritating of “unimportant but undeniably fascinating celebrity tragedy or trainwreck reporting”: the “There have been absolutely no new developments but be damned if we’re going to let that stop us from reporting on it to the exclusion of near all else anyway” (or, as Larry King calls this phase, “a career”). I’m almost positive that the \*Collect Uncontestable Money with Rich Aged Geezer Sperm (CUMRAGS) \* plot was on an episode of **ER** (a comparatively young widow taking a sample from her dying ancient husband to impregnate herself and ensure a spot in his will). I wonder if her half-sister (who had almost no relationship with her famous relative; ANS was famously estranged from her family and with good reason from the looks of it) got the idea from there. I loved what my future husband Anderson Cooper said about Prince Frederick von ZsaZsa’s comments: > [@](#): > > Reporter: Now, Von Anhalt said he doesn’t want to get involved here, Anderson. I think it’s a little bit late for that. He said he wants the court to decide how this proceeds, that he’s very happy with his wife. But he did say if the court awards custody to Larry Birkhead or to Howard K. Stern, he will step in and will take further action. There you have that. > > COOPER: Yes, that’s mighty big of him. I love how he said, like he doesn’t want to get involved. And yet he held, he called a press conference. It’s not as if people were beating down his door because they knew of this. This is a guy who sent out press releases, held a press conference. But no, he doesn’t want to get involved. > > ANDERSON: No. > > COOPER: Only in Hollywood. Brooke, appreciate the reporting, thanks. The Prince (by adoption- he paid a penniless old princess to adopt him and he sells titles to others the same way- apparently German nobility is something like Amway) also was gentlemanly enough to speculate that there could be another 20 or 30 guys with claims to the kid. Sigh. I’ve said [for years](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6627096&postcount=5) that I thought ANS deserved money from her husband’s estate, but now more than ever. With the baby it’s possible that the money won’t be spent on commemorative plates and hangers-on and Lear Jets to get fried chicken “from that place in Texarkana…” and the like. I don’t understand why the Marshall family won’t just cough up a settlement. (Of course with no other image to go on I’m imagining Pierce Marshall’s widow as [Lucille Bluth](http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/pix/walters_jessica_cp_.jpg) which may explain some of it, along with the fact there’s bad blood in the family from the old man’s quite intentional disinheritance of two of his kids for trying to go against him in a takeover of Koch.) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/131 "2007-02-10T20:13:59Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] Right now on CNN’s front page is a picture of medical examiner Joshua Perper giving a press briefing about the preliminary autopsy results. He’s the guy who gave me my entrance physical for the Navy back in 1983 at the Pittsburgh MEPS. The same hands that touched my groin have touched Anna Nicole’s boobies!!! [/QUOTE] So _you’re_ the father! Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/132 "2007-02-10T20:18:45Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] I’m almost positive that the \*Collect Uncontestable Money with Rich Aged Geezer Sperm (CUMRAGS) \* plot was on an episode of **ER** (a comparatively young widow taking a sample from her dying ancient husband to impregnate herself and ensure a spot in his will). [/QUOTE] You are correct sir. Jumped him right on the exam table, she did. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/133 "2007-02-10T22:18:14Z")
[QUOTE=Shodan] So _you’re_ the father! Regards, Shodan [/QUOTE] There’s only one way to decide who the child’s true father is. **REALITY SHOW!** Maury Povich can either host or star as King Solomon. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/134 "2007-02-10T22:26:13Z")
So my odds: Larry Birkhead, photographer 1:1 David Crosby, celebrity spermographer 2:1 Larry King, necromancer 70:1 Daniel Smith, deceased son 132:1 Howard Marshall, deceased geezer 109:1 Prince Frederick von Anhalt-Zsa-Zsa, golddigger 12:1 Howard K. Stern, attorney 30:1 Howard Stern, the shock-jock 320:1 Jimmy “JJ” Walker (or perhaps the guy who played ‘Bookman’, the source wasn’t exactly clear- just said “last season of Good Times and not Michael”) 204:1 George Takei 1090:1 The 1927 Thundering Herd Football Team 8:1 Anna Nicole Smith (in a hermaphroditic love fest) 4:1 Kimmy 390:1 Bobby Trendy 50:1 Leslie Nielsen 400:1 Betty White 800:1 ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/135 "2007-02-10T22:27:12Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] I wonder if she could have vomited up any of the residue that they would be looking for. That one tabloid report said that she choked on her own vomit, so if the nurse cleared it before trying to revive her, they’d have to test the towels and whatnot. [/QUOTE] No, they’d have found stuff in her lungs. Coroner said that was definitely not the cause of death. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/136 "2007-02-10T22:39:23Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] I’m almost positive that the \*Collect Uncontestable Money with Rich Aged Geezer Sperm (CUMRAGS) \* plot was on an episode of **ER** (a comparatively young widow taking a sample from her dying ancient husband to impregnate herself and ensure a spot in his will). [/QUOTE] I definitely remember that plot from an episode of _Law & Order: SVU._ ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/137 "2007-02-10T23:23:21Z")
Sam, I like your odds… 🆒 [QUOTE=Sampiro] The Prince (by adoption- he paid a penniless old princess to adopt him and he sells titles to others the same way- apparently German nobility is something like Amway) also was gentlemanly enough to speculate that there could be another 20 or 30 guys with claims to the kid. [/QUOTE] Yeah, that’s class… _“Ve vill not speak ill of ze dead. Even if she var eine totalskankslutwhorepsychoschwantzbeast, as ve say am Deutsch.”_ How noble. OTOH the wway that when someone suggested the son, I was entirely un-ewwed by the idea, tells me my expectations of humanity have really fallen low… And count me among those who find no fault or evil in the pairing of rich old geezer and loose young hottie. Heck, I even find that combination refreshingly honest 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2007, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/138 "2007-02-11T00:49:53Z")
I think back when she married rich geezer people looked down on it because they figured she was forfeiting her potential for the bucks but then after the public got to know her a bit better we all realized she could marry a monkey for all it mattered. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2007, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/139 "2007-02-11T01:14:12Z")
Just checking…she’s still dead, right? **Sampiro** , I’ll take Betty White at 800:1 ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2007, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anna-nicole-smith-reportedly-collapsed-possibly-dead/391408/140 "2007-02-11T01:33:44Z")
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