# Announcement to world: I am now in charge **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434 "2002-07-05T01:35:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Splutter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5fc32e/32.png) [@Splutter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Splutter)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/1 "2002-07-05T01:35:16Z")
People, please note that I am now supreme ruler of the world. My World Domination Army (herein known as my WDA) has been assembled, and is about to be unleashed. If any of you have a problem with this, bad luck. Any rebellion movements will be swiftly and mercilessly crushed. However, if anyone wants a position on my Grand and Excellent Evil Steering Committee, please submit applications here. BAAAHAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAA! Yours in complete authority, Splutter ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/2 "2002-07-05T01:55:25Z")
One post and he (or she) thinks he’s taken over the world?! Heck, I think the record for taking over this message board was over a dozen, and that was only because most of the members were distracted at the time. I think it was something about trying to keep 'Punha from running naked through one thread too many, but I could be wrong. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![welby1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@welby1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby1)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/3 "2002-07-05T02:20:59Z")
I killed Splutter with a spoon during dinner tonight. It was ugly, and involved lime jello and lots of screaming. Any further posts will certainly be from an imposter, and should be ignored. If you have any questions, please save them for the re-eduction officer that will be visiting your homes in the near future. Soon Cecil and his minions will rule the world. . . . . ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/4 "2002-07-05T02:26:04Z")
Hmm, now, is this a job for the Lesbian Vampire Army of Doom[sup]TM[/sup], or the Happy Fun Squad[sup]TM[/sup], or the SDMB Mercenaries[sup]TM[/sup]? Nnnnnah. Not worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/5 "2002-07-05T02:31:45Z")
Dilbert did it. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/6 "2002-07-05T03:03:10Z")
Ha mortal know ye not what ye do, fear me for I am [supreme](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=123967), I hold in my fist the weapon which will reduce you to a slimy mess on the carpet - a _New Kids On The Block_ CD. Of course all insane-o super villains planning to take over the world have a back up plan so should you not run screaming from the auditory assault that is NKOTB I have also “DC Talk”. Suffer yon mortal, suffer and be conquered! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/7 "2002-07-05T04:04:27Z")
I’m covering my eyes with my hands, so you don’t exist. HA!!! Now -I- rule supreme!!! ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/8 "2002-07-05T04:20:15Z")
I don’t care who’s in charge as long as I get fed three times a day. And it’s gotta be good food, too–not that crap they sell at Furr’s or Country Kitchen or Golden Corral. So if you’re a Furr’s Dictator or a Country Kitchen Despot or a Golden Corral Fuhrer, you don’t get my vote for World Dominator. That’s all. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/9 "2002-07-05T04:31:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wonko The Sane \* > \*\*I’m covering my eyes with my hands, so you don’t exist. > HA!!! > > Now -I- rule supreme!!! \*\* Ahhh but can you cover your eye’s and your ears at the same time? ---
**Author:** ![Splutter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5fc32e/32.png) [@Splutter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Splutter)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/10 "2002-07-05T04:33:38Z")
I feel that some of you are not taking me seriously. I know who you are and my henchmen are on their way… And not one single application for my Grand and Evil Steering Committee! Have you people no ambition?? Crikey guys, how doe’s an evil overlord drum up some enthusiasm round here? Do I have to start feeding some of you to my particularly viscious shark/hyena/camel hybrids? Yours Maniacally Splutter ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/11 "2002-07-05T04:36:06Z")
Boobies. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/12 "2002-07-05T04:42:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder \* > \*\*Boobies. \*\* Ooooh Boobies are good, those who wish to join my revolution can play with boobies any time they want (Disclaimer: as long as its not my boobies!) 😃 Also **SkipMagic** I am contracting my mum to do the catering. High quality, tasty and nutritional meals. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/13 "2002-07-05T04:42:42Z")
I hereby announce the formation of a **Rebel Doper Alliance** to secretly steal your plans, commandeer your shuttles, blow up your weapons of mass destruction, and inevitably have you tossed down a shaft by your own number two flunkie. I have room in this Alliance for endless numbers of expendable footsoldiers, but I’m specifically seeking the following: -An annoying know-it-all golden boy who’s fluent in as many languages as possible, and can calculate my odds of survival in any situation. -A short, stocky companion to golden boy who’ll be loyal in any situation. -A dashing, daring, mildly self-centered pilot type whose true colors come through in the end. -A pretentious, regal female who’s good with a rifle. Must be attracted to dashing pilot types. -A whiny young, heroic type who never quite concentrates on where he is or what he’s doing. Must crave adventure and excitement. -A smooth-talking, well-dressed rogue type who’s good at hitting on ladies and betraying his friends. Must like Colt 45. I’m accepting applications now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/14 "2002-07-05T04:57:57Z")
**ResIpsaLoquitor** hows about you and me join forces? I can provide the following: - Music from Hell, no enemy can withstand it. - Very fine catering dept. - Hands on policy regarding Boobies 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Necris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e47c2d/32.png) [@Necris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necris)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/15 "2002-07-05T05:50:47Z")
can i be your second in command oh exalted demented ruler of htre world, Splutter?..i’ll be the evil commander of your forces who obeys your every command. However if it is to work i absolutely insist that my job package should allow me immunity from being killed after i fail a mission. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/16 "2002-07-05T05:53:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leechbabe \* > \*\*Also **SkipMagic** I am contracting my mum to do the catering. High quality, tasty and nutritional meals. 🙂 \*\* Sold. You now have my persistance of palate, my staunchness of starch, my probity of palate and my loyalty of larder. Praise you and yer mum. Also, I can offer you my greatest torture device in my own personal arsenal of “things to terrorize the world when I’m bored”; which is…I annoy people. A lot. Sometimes to death. And it’s all yours, you lucky Ruler O’ Mine. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/17 "2002-07-05T06:01:41Z")
I’ll back whoever (or should that be “whomever”?) can provide me with a steady supply of chocolate and Pepsi. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/18 "2002-07-05T06:08:20Z")
I am hereby pleased to announce that the **Rebel Doper Alliance** is now equipped with death music for weaponry and catering from **leechbabe** ’s mom. And I’m making her second-in-command of boobies. The recruiting doors are OPEN! ---
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/19 "2002-07-05T06:16:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Splutter \* > > Crikey guys, how doe’s an evil overlord drum up some enthusiasm round here? First off, you can feed Blu. Remember to take him out right away when he finishes eating… he’s an old dog now, and his bladder is weak. Then you can do something about these roaches. They’re getting into _everything_! Oh yeah, and some boobies too. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/20 "2002-07-05T06:19:09Z")
Rock-On :: pause whilst leechbabe adjusts boobies to maximum potential:: Hmmm **Kat** I’ve got a large amount of MM’s stashed in this room here especially for you and the Pepsi supply truck should be along any time now. And my mum makes killer chocolate macadamia nut cookies 😃 Oh most worthy leader of the **Rebel Doper Alliance** we now have a new weapon to deploy, yon **SkipMagic** claims to be able to annoy the enemy to death. What are your strategic recommendations? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434.md?page=2)