# Announcement to world: I am now in charge **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434 "2002-07-05T01:35:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/41 "2002-07-05T22:42:49Z")
I think as far as my personal alignment in this building conflict, I’m gonna have to go with **Leechbabe** and the **Rebel Doper Alliance**. Boobies and chocolate. I’m there. 😃 However, since we seem to be rather short on the appropriate equipment for taking over the world…may I humbly recomment a quick shopping trip to [Villain Supply.com](http://villainsupply.com)? It’s pretty much a one-stop shop for this type of thing. 😃 Just my two cents… -Stil [sub] Hey, **Leechbabe** …how do I sign up to be **BraheSilver** ’s emergency backup? For when he’s, you know, not available? :)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/42 "2002-07-05T22:49:35Z")
**BraheSilver** , you might want to consider taking on **Nostradamus** for the lingerie inspector position. He has shown quite an interest in the field in the past. As for me, I want to be in charge of the Sterilization Committee. You know, deciding who has been a bad parent and needs to have their children adopted by good parents and be sterilized. I figure this position would logically come with a dictatorship, since it is so obviously needed in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/43 "2002-07-06T04:59:15Z")
Excuse me, but I already did this (and it made threadspotting.) I therefiore have dibs on world domination. However, I’ve redirected efforts for the time being, form my invisible coup, in order fix the stock market, defuse the Israeli-PLO situation, end terror, and make some of those marshmallow rice krispie treats. One of my minions will provide a link for you. The search engine is being fussy with me. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/44 "2002-07-06T11:51:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > \*\*I hereby announce the formation of a **Rebel Doper Alliance** to secretly steal your plans, commandeer your shuttles, blow up your weapons of mass destruction, and inevitably have you tossed down a shaft by your own number two flunkie. > > -A pretentious, regal female who’s good with a rifle. Must be attracted to dashing pilot types. > > I’m accepting applications now. 😃 \*\* I wanna play! Here’s my application. I’m regal, and I can be pretentious, and I have my own gun. ResIpsaLoquitor, do I have to bribe you with chocolate or show you my boobies? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/45 "2002-07-06T12:02:03Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kinsey_ > **ResIpsaLoquitor, do I have to bribe you with chocolate or show you my boobies** ::blows referee whistle:: Foul! **Brahesilver** is the official boobie quality control inspector. Please go to the back of the thread. Yes, that’s fine. Thank you. And… Action!! ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/46 "2002-07-06T13:17:19Z")
It’s hard finding good minions these days Scylla?  Isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/47 "2002-07-06T13:21:42Z")
After stealthily sneaking into Splutter’s ship with voice set to Moderate Frost, I found said book (OK, a link containing jokes from it) next to his bedside. Handling the book very carefully, I placed it in a small toaster oven I brought along for the purpose, dumped it in the nearest escape pod and sent it off to the [BBQ Pit](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=124157) in the hopes of enlisting the assistance of the master of sarcasm **Fenris**. I was nearly discovered in the process, but I set my voice to Winter in Buffalo, and froze three of Splutter’s minions. Oh, while I’m recruiting aid, **Esprix** , favoured by Cecil and Knower of All Ask the Gay Guy things, would you please lend us your aid (or a couple of good looking, bi-to-straight male pilots)? CJ Pretentious, Regal Female of the Rebel Doper Alliance ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/48 "2002-07-06T14:27:51Z")
**Rebel Doper Alliance Job Application** \*\*Position Applied for: \*\*A smooth-talking, well-dressed rogue type who’s good at hitting on ladies and betraying his friends. \*\*Salary desired: \*\*Potent potables and all the ladies I can pick up at the baccarat table. \*\*Qualifications: \*\* [li]Suave[/li][li]Debonair[/li][li]Can pronounce the above two words[/li][li]Well-dressed[/li][li]Roguish[/li][li]Smooth-talking[/li][li]Like boobies[/li][li]Will betray you for boobies, Colt .45, or a Brooks Brothers gift certificate[/li] **Hobbies:** Drinking malt liquor, picking up ladies, and general betrayal ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/49 "2002-07-06T15:43:59Z")
Wait, wait…as founder of the **Rebel Doper Alliance** , I get final appeal on all boobie inspections, including **Kinsey** ’s. And believe me, boobie inspections have a lot of appeal. 😃 **stofsky** is hired as our Colt 45 salesman. However, you have to supply the big blue pimp cape yourself. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/50 "2002-07-06T16:26:33Z")
I appreciate you’re all very busy sorting out issues of command, control, leadership, minions, factions etc. It’s just, whoever **does** end up in charge of the world, I live in England and can we please have a decent climate? Like quite a lot of sunshine, warm Summers, that kind of thing? That’s all. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/51 "2002-07-06T16:40:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > \*\*Wait, wait…as founder of the **Rebel Doper Alliance** , I get final appeal on all boobie inspections, including **Kinsey** ’s. And believe me, boobie inspections have a lot of appeal. 😃 > \*\* So I guess just bribing you with chocolate is out? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dlitephullee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dfb087/32.png) [@Dlitephullee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dlitephullee)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/52 "2002-07-06T17:17:54Z")
Holy Crap- It’s my first time on this board and already I have experienced a full course of narcissism and misogyny for the appetizer and main course, followed by schizo-affective delusions. I’m merely a sex addict. Does that count? I would like to join an army for world domination. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/53 "2002-07-06T18:07:57Z")
Holy crap, **Dlitephullee** , this is nothing. Go check some of the Pit threads. Or Great Debates. And just wait till there’s a full moon. And welcome, by the way. Want some chocolate? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/54 "2002-07-06T18:39:38Z")
“Misogyny”? I consider myself pretty touchy on the subject of misogyny (I can post a link to an anti-objectification thread I started if you like), and this ain’t it (hee - I typed that as "ain’ tit at first - Freudian slip of the fingers). How about if we equal things out and get a “Male Tushie” inspector position started? Anybody want to volunteer? ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/55 "2002-07-06T18:58:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*How about if we equal things out and get a “Male Tushie” inspector position started? Anybody want to volunteer? \*\* ME! ME! ME! Can I do it?!? ME! ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/56 "2002-07-06T19:01:39Z")
(Sorry, I’m bored today. The house is clean, the laundry is done, the hubby and kids are gone, I don’t have a book to read, and there’s nothing on TV. The SD is all’s I gots to do for now.) ---
**Author:** ![agentfroot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/57 "2002-07-06T21:26:26Z")
Position Applied for: Innocent-looking decoy, accomplice, or general evil henchgirl Salary desired: Just let me keep the weapons, feed me, and I’ll be happy Qualifications: \*Skilled in riflery (Grandma was Utah State Rifle Champ a long time ago, I have her talent) \*Knows how to fence (though I’d end up bludgeoning and slashing the enemy to death rather than stabbing anything…) \*4 foot 8-ish, 130 pounds, looks 12, cute, nobody suspects a thing \*Can cook things without setting the smoke alarm off 50% of the time \*Can fit into small spaces \*High IQ that hasn’t been used in years \*Always available \*Has boobies but never uses them for anything Me too! I wanna join! _bounces around_ Ooh, pretty sword… ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/58 "2002-07-07T00:36:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Splutter \* > \*\*Yours in complete authority, > Splutter \*\* I yield to _no one_. You’re so unthreatening that the Litany of Fear would be wasted on you. I fart in your general direction. Give it your best shot, _kid_. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/59 "2002-07-07T01:00:31Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor_ > **Wait, wait…as founder of the Rebel Doper Alliance, I get final appeal on all boobie inspections, including Kinsey’s. And believe me, boobie inspections have a lot of appeal.** Aw. I barely start work and the boss is considering liquidating my position. I knew this couldn’t last. On the plus side, all current applicants are Grade A, with as many plusses as you care to Magic Marker on the form. I’ll be sent to the spice mines for sure! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/60 "2002-07-07T01:05:23Z")
All these miserable pissants playing at ruling the world. Your petty bickering is nothing compared to my absolute rule. As a matter of fact, my **Dark Imperium of Underpants** has controlled this entire system - nay, this entire galaxy - for eons, and you miserable little upstarts (this includes that smarmy punk Scylla) are as to nothing compared to my absolute might. You sad little peons want to know the secret to my unbridled success? I follow the [Evil Overlord List](http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html) for all of my actions, and it has yet to steer me wrong once! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434.md?page=4)