# Announcement to world: I am now in charge **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434 "2002-07-05T01:35:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/81 "2002-07-07T23:43:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ResIpsaLoquitor \* > \*\*In the meantime, all Rebels are to report for boobie inspection at 0900 hours tomorrow, in the mead hall. That is all. \*\* Can I be first? I have a sick cat due at the vet’s at 10:00, a child due at the orthodontist at 11:15, and all three kids with swimming lessons starting at noon. Then I’ll rush right back to help take over the world, I promise. My guns are all cleaned and ready. ---
**Author:** ![Taran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Taran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taran)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/82 "2002-07-07T23:43:42Z")
> [@](#): > > …who seem to be too busy squabbling over the scraps of the leftovers from my banquet of power to notice that my World Domination Army has eaten you alive, complemented the chef, and then done the dishes. It gets funnier every time I read it. The call of the Dark Side is strong indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/83 "2002-07-08T01:07:19Z")
**Horseflesh** , hands (and chocolate) off agentfroot’s boobies. She said no. Please note the two blasters pointed at you, one at your head, one, shall we say, somewhat lower. The things I do for this Alliance! Provide a toaster oven. Provide someone who can _fit_ in the toaster oven. Steal a \_\_\_\_\_ encrusted copy of _Truly Tasteless Jokes_, and I’ve yet to see a good looking, roguish fighter type! 🙂 CJ ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/84 "2002-07-08T01:20:07Z")
Free boobie-shaped chocolates for everyone if this gets turned into a Weird Earl. Who says the Doper Alliance doesn’t treat its members well? ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/85 "2002-07-08T01:31:02Z")
Free Chocolates!!! ::rips clothing off in joy and does the happy dance:: ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/86 "2002-07-08T07:03:54Z")
I don’t like cherries either but if I get free chocolate I am willing to do anything! ::joins in the happy dance:: ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/87 "2002-07-08T07:06:34Z")
oops did I just say that… 😊 ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/88 "2002-07-08T07:17:08Z")
::brandishing a paint brush and a case of _hot chocolate fudge body paint_ :: Okay, ladies…since the makeup department seems to have dropped the ball here…I’m gonna have to take care of this myself. ::looks at the brush:: You know, this stuff just doesn’t go on right with a brush. I might just have to use my fingers. 🙂 -Stil ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/89 "2002-07-08T09:51:42Z")
Hmm this revolution seems to be loosing steam… perhaps we should pour some water on the glowing embers of war and have a sauna. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/90 "2002-07-08T17:24:48Z")
It’s been done before. Most folks have a position already. 😃 (Unfortunaly, I can’t find the thread…) ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/91 "2002-07-08T17:33:52Z")
[Here’s the thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=100271) ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/92 "2002-07-08T18:30:21Z")
Hmmmmm…perhaps the evil one has finally passed on. The rebellion is called off! Everyone, get naked and dance around the chocolate campfire! Yub yub! ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/93 "2002-07-08T18:31:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kwyjibo \* > \*\*It’s been done before. Most folks have a position already. 😃 > \*\* This is Episode II: The Toaster Oven Scandal (© 2002). **Splutter** has been revealed to be **leechbabe** ’s great uncle, **Skipmagic** has perfected his Annoyance Beam™, and plans stolen by **cjhoworth** have shown that the only weakness of the WDA is chocolate covered boobies (w/choice of fruit). You obviously are a flunky of the evil (and noticeably absent) **Splutter** and are about to die a chocolate covered death (w/choice of fruit). Get 'im girls! ANNOUNCEMENT: In the absence of casting director **Esprix** selecting appropriately rogue-ish pilots and the plethora of available applicants, we will choose by popular vote. Applicants please stand at least five feet from each other. The one with the most chocolate on them after 5 minutes will be hired. (Ladies, when you’re done smothering **Kwyjibo** please rush the pilots.) That is all. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/94 "2002-07-08T18:43:59Z")
can I rush B]Res\*\*? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/95 "2002-07-08T18:45:59Z")
Damn… that shoud be can I rush **Res**? 😉 ::Flustered with the thought of chocolate body paint:: ---
**Author:** ![agentfroot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/96 "2002-07-08T20:59:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cjhoworth \* > \*\ ***Horseflesh** , hands (and chocolate) off agentfroot’s boobies. She said no. Please note the two blasters pointed at you, one at your head, one, shall we say, somewhat lower. > CJ \*\* Oh, I forgot to mention in my application, I come with my own slightly overprotective bodyguard. She’ll keep me away from the hands (and other body parts) of men, but SHE wants all the chocolate for herself! It’s her evil plan! _Snatches the bucket of chocolate, chugs half of it, and dumps the rest down her tshirt_ There, now I have “good” chocolate-covered boobies. Anyone willing to debate can inspect my chocolate-covered fist. Oh, and CJ, sorry I foiled your plot. _Reaches into pocket and rummages around for a few minutes, then pulls out a can of Pringles_ Here you go! _Giggles and skips off_ ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/97 "2002-07-09T01:06:44Z")
Well, while **Horseflesh** is obviously a bit busy with those problematic dual blasters…I think it’s high time I announced the reason that **Splutter** hasn’t posted back…I’m afraid **Splutter** is currently being kept prisoner in a small, vinyl-cushioned room, being kept occupied by a crack squad of my robotic henchpersons…who happen to have the best chocolate-covered boobies that money can buy. It was actually a clone that was killed by **welby1**. I think it’s time we ended this farce and proclaimed the defeat of the alleged **World Domination Army**. [sub]But wait…if we don’t have an evil nemesis, then we won’t have a reason to have all these chocolate covered boobies around as our secret weapons. Hmmm. Never mind. I’ll release **Splutter** post-haste. [/sub] Now, back to the _hot chocolate fudge body paint_. 😃 -Stil ---
**Author:** ![QueenAl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/d26b3c/32.png) [@QueenAl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QueenAl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/98 "2002-07-09T01:51:50Z")
See, you’re all mistaken. I already took over the world on the sixteenth of February, just after teatime. However, I didn’t make any changes, so nobody noticed. I’m still world leader though. Hence the name. ---
**Author:** ![QueenAl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/d26b3c/32.png) [@QueenAl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QueenAl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/99 "2002-07-09T01:52:18Z")
See, you’re all mistaken. I already took over the world on the sixteenth of February 2002, just after teatime. However, I didn’t make any changes, so nobody noticed. I’m still world leader though. Hence the name. ---
**Author:** ![QueenAl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/d26b3c/32.png) [@QueenAl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QueenAl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/100 "2002-07-09T01:54:19Z")
Erm, the double-posting is just a ruse to throw you all off-guard. Honest. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434.md?page=6)