# Announcement to world: I am now in charge **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434 "2002-07-05T01:35:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/101 "2002-07-09T04:22:21Z")
I have a new weapon to add to the festivities - Musical Condoms a la [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=2256749#post2256749). Any objections, other additions? ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/102 "2002-07-09T18:14:41Z")
I’ve always been fond of Blue-footed Boobies myself. Oh wait, you mean those boobies… ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/103 "2002-07-10T00:39:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leechbabe \* > \*\*I have a new weapon to add to the festivities - Musical Condoms a la [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=2256749#post2256749). > > Any objections, other additions? \*\* Only if the condoms play the Rebel Doper Alliance theme song. 😃 ::sticks index fingers in both blaster muzzles **cjhoworth** is pointing at me:: Look **cj** , I was just trying to cover a bare spot on her chesticles. No harm done. You want a rogue pilot? There’s several standing over there waiting to be picked by the legion of chocolate boobies. Try to keep your blasting to a minimum. I can’t use a pilot if he’s missing his head. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/104 "2002-07-10T02:25:23Z")
Meanwhile, there’s no sign of **Fenris**. I wonder if he burned up on a Doper funeral pyre instead of disappearing into the chocolate ether like he should have. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/105 "2002-07-10T03:14:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*Only if the condoms play the Rebel Doper Alliance theme song. 😃 > \*\* We have a theme song :eek: What is it? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/106 "2002-07-10T04:01:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leechbabe \* > \*\* > > We have a theme song :eek: > > What is it? \*\* Why, _You Sexy Thing_ by **Hot Chocolate** , what else? So you don’t know the theme song, eh? You _sure_ you’re on the right team? Okay, show me the secret handshake. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/107 "2002-07-10T09:41:27Z")
: Puts away blasters and starts sizing up pilots : ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/108 "2002-07-10T23:19:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*Why, _You Sexy Thing_ by **Hot Chocolate** , what else? > > So you don’t know the theme song, eh? You _sure_ you’re on the right team? Okay, show me the secret handshake. \*\* uhoh the secret handshake, is that the one where you put your left foot in, take your left foot out and shake it all about? ---
**Author:** ![agentfroot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2002, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/109 "2002-07-10T23:46:56Z")
_while CJ is dealing with the pilots, Ade sneaks off…_ 10 minutes later… _rides in on an elephant_ Lookee what I found! Her name is Jezebel, and she followed me here! Hey, do elephants have boobies? Hand me that chocolate hose, please. _everyone stares_ ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/110 "2002-07-11T00:50:40Z")
::wrests chocolate hose away from those planning to use it on the elephant:: No No No, what we want here is a giant cherry ripe chocolate milk shake Mmmmmmm, don’t waste precious chocolate on the elephant. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/111 "2002-07-11T01:53:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leechbabe \* > \*\* > uhoh the secret handshake, is that the one where you put your left foot in, take your left foot out and shake it all about? \*\* Yeah okay. That’s it. ::motions to security guards:: Let her go boys, she’s good. Sorry about that Miss **leechbabe** but we’ve got all kinds of crazies trying to make it onto the set. Speaking of crazies… ::Looks at script, looks at **agentfroot** , back to script:: ::Taps script vigorously:: There are NO elephants in this production! Take Horton back to the [Indiana Jones and the Comfortable Chair](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=124045) thread now please. And just look at your boobies. ::stares:: Go see **Stiletto** pronto, your chocolate’s nearly gone. Hmmm, have we got all our pilots selected? ::uses toe to prod writhing mass of The Legion of Chocolate Boobies and the Galactic Rogue Pilots Association:: Looks like it’s a work in progress. Everybody take 5! ::looks at writhing mass again:: Better make that 20! ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/112 "2002-07-11T02:40:13Z")
20 Pilots? Great!!! ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/113 "2002-07-11T02:48:17Z")
**Quality Control Memo** Re: Pilots Could all casting staff please note that pilots must reach the following minimum standards to be eligible for a role in the RDA. [ul] - Buff - Built - Bodacious [/ul] Actual pilot skills not required as the boobie gals are more than happy to assist pilots with their training 😛 Mmmmm fresh pilot… ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/114 "2002-07-11T02:56:28Z")
But **cj** , what are you gonna do with 20 pilots?!? [sub]Never mind…I probably don’t wanna know…[/sub] **agentfroot** , the bottle of _dark dutch chocolate body frosting_ should be at a nice warm teperature right now…and the case of honey dust just came in, if you feel like having anything else…er…_highlighted_ 😃 [sub]_mutter_ Now where did I put those silk-bristle brushes…I mean, they can’t expect you to crank out this level of artistic quality with substandard equipment…[/sub] Hey, **leechbabe** , your chocolate could using some touching up, too. 😉 [sub]I swear…this is worse than shopping when you’re hungry…every time I make a mistake, I have to carefully lick it off, and start over. But if it isn’t just absolutely perfect…_sigh_ I guess as long as they don’t get upset about the $12,000 worth of chocolate body frosting, we’re okay. [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/115 "2002-07-11T15:44:06Z")
Alright you rogues, you heard the lady. Single line formation in front of **leechbabe**. Miss **leech** will personally clean the chocolate off of you and determine if you’re up to spec. I’ll tell you now, if you don’t have the 3 B’s (Threebies?), you’re out. **Stiletto**! :: pointing at the LoCB:: Chocolate. Boobies. Now! No need to finesse, just slather it on. The sun’s going down in an hour and we need this shot today! ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/116 "2002-07-11T16:11:36Z")
:: **LurkMeister** , who had been hoping to join the RDA, looks down at his definitely un-Threebie form and slinks off, trying to be inconspicuous. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/117 "2002-07-11T17:21:12Z")
So you mean us girls with boobies (make that chocolate covered boobies) get 20 pilots each to :ahem: train? Fantastic! I am so pleased I signed up now. Best-day-ever. Men and chocolate. Buff men & chocolate. Buff men covered in chcolate. Oh I feel faint :thud: ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/118 "2002-07-11T20:33:58Z")
::Glares at **Horseflesh** :: You just don’t understand art, do you? This is a labor of _love_…[sub] well, okay, maybe just a labor of _lust_…[/sub] But it still takes time, dammit. If nothing else, think how these ladies will feel if I have to end up hurrying, and use _cold_ chocolate body frosting. Once I tell them it’s your fault, you are not gonna be a happy camper, I can pretty much guarantee. [sub] Unless, of course, the temperature on the set gets up above 100 degrees again. Then I have to switch over to _Magic Shell_ tm and ice-cubes.[/sub] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/119 "2002-07-12T03:33:02Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Stiletto \* > \*\* > But it still takes time, dammit. If nothing else, think how these ladies will feel if I have to end up hurrying, and use cold chocolate body frosting_\* Alright, here’s what you do. Get 5 Slip 'N Slides. Get 25 heat lamps. Set up five heat lamps along the length of each slide. Dump chocolate liberally on the slides. Turn heat lamps on for an hour. Line up the Boobie Warriors and have them take a running slide down one of them. You’ll need five volunteers to catch the ladies at the end of the slide and inspect them. Uh, first five people to reach **Stiletto** will be the inspectors. ::Gets the hell out of the way:: ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/120 "2002-07-12T03:54:00Z")
Damn these worldwide conspiracy organizations!!! You find a job you love, and then they reorganize, and want to completely change how you do things. ☹ Sorry, **Horseflesh** …I say we let the ladies vote. Personal attention with silk-tipped brushes, fingertips, and, er, other things, using high-quality _double dutch chocolate body frosting_… **OR** 500 gallons of chocolate and a slip and slide. I’m not stupid. I’ll leave it entirely up to them. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434.md?page=7)