# Announcement to world: I am now in charge **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434 "2002-07-05T01:35:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/121 "2002-07-12T04:33:37Z")
Looks like my position’s been outsourced into a more-or-less self regulating system ::sniff::. Now I need another job, since **Res** has once again taken my office (something about a petting zoo for all the animals people keep bringing in, he said). Anything but the Alliance Zookeeper. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/122 "2002-07-12T04:49:33Z")
**BraheSilver** wot about being the taking on the ‘best friend’ role for some of us gals - who knows when we might need a shoulder to lean on. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/123 "2002-07-12T04:52:11Z")
And hey **LurkMeister** before you get all dejected and run off I am sure we can find a position for you. Obviously being a pilot is out but how about chocolate viscosity engineer? ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/124 "2002-07-12T06:48:27Z")
::steps out from behind small group of people where he’s been lurking unobserved for days:: If y’all are talking about taking on extra pilots and all, I’d like to submit my qualifications: 1. Capable of surviving multiple combats without actually firing the ‘fatal shot’ at the enemy 2. Consequently, used to playing second fiddle to ‘whiny young, heroic type’ 3. Blends in with crowd 4. Has small cult following, who value him all out of proportion to anything he’s actually done 5. Used to being referred to by callsign/flight number, instead of actual name 6. Valuable contacts with underworld figures involved in transportaion/sale of black market chocolate, at cut-rate prices ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/125 "2002-07-12T09:44:30Z")
I’ll vote the lad in! Also, sorry **Stiletto** , but the slip n slide sounds like fun! On the other hand, we will need someone to do the touch up work in certain delicate areas, not to mention highlighting, etc. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/126 "2002-07-12T09:56:08Z")
::looking at **Skeezix** :: Ah, the Wesley Crusher/Jar-Jar Binks character, eh? Good, we need an innocent type member of the RDA to get captured and tortured by the bad guys so our Rogue Pilots and Chocolate Amazons have that “personal incentive” to take out **Splutter** and his laughable minions. Alright! One vote for slip 'n slide. Wheres my DV camera? I gotta shoot this in slow motion. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/127 "2002-07-12T12:11:53Z")
Another vote for the slip & slide - could be veerry veerry interesting:D ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/128 "2002-07-12T13:45:57Z")
:: sighs :: [sub]_mutter_ Nobody appreciates craftsmanship anymore. [/sub] Alright, **Horseflesh** , you win. Where are we setting up the slip and slide? I mean, if we’re gonna do it that way, we’re gonna do it right, demmit. 😃 As for volunteers, I’ll be taking applications over here. And we’re gonna need somebody to spread additional chocolate. And this would, of course, be the perfect place for somebody to set up a booth selling thong bikini bottoms, for those who aren’t entirely prepared. Just a thought. I mean if you don’t want to wear one, nobody’s gonna force you. 🆒 I’ll be catching and doing inspections over here. Oh, don’t tell me we only have 100 gallons of chocolate syrup left. :smack: We’re gonna need a whole lot more than that, I think. Well, let’s get set up and do this. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![agentfroot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@agentfroot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agentfroot)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/129 "2002-07-12T17:32:55Z")
I’m all for the slip’n’slide! I’ll do my own touch-ups, thankyouverymuch, and I brought my own brushes. They’re kinda crusted over with 3-year-old acrylic paint, but that’s ok. And sorry about the elephant… I sent her over to the pilot department to _ahem_ recruit some pilots for me to… um… train? Or do they train me? Or… I got lost. Cowabunga, dude! _does a running bellyflop, realizes there’s no chocolate on the slip’n’slide yet, and bruises her ribs_ …Ow. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/130 "2002-07-12T18:43:18Z")
How about a comprimise - slip & slide just for the sheer fun of it then “personal” touch ups depending on preference 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/131 "2002-07-12T23:49:28Z")
:Walks over to **Stiletto** : I’ve finished with the slip & slide. Could I get a touch up please? Oh yes, “Haughty and Arrogant”. If you could spare a moment from your busy schedule, could you please attend to my breasts? They are not covered at all adequately, will need to be highlighted to be shown to their best advantage. :To worn out pilots: Later, boys! CJ ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/132 "2002-07-13T02:40:44Z")
Okay, let’s see here. _makes sure that there’s enough chocolate on the slip-n-slide, and that the heating lamps are set to keep everything comfortable._ **cjhoworth** if you can just sit right here, I’ll be right back with a fresh brush. And the appropriate highlights. I’m kinda thinking a nice light sheen of _dutch chocolate body frosting_ and then a nice celtic knotwork pattern in a light chocolate, with honey dust for accents. It just seems like it would suit you. 🙂 :smack: **agentfroot** , dear, slip-n-slide number one is ready to go. The second one isn’t quite ready yet. And there’s a full length mirror and a comfortable chair you can use for re-painting yourself right over here. And fresh brushes. _sheesh_ You really shouldn’t mistreat your boobies like that. ☹ **ems** , you just let me know if you need a touch-up, dear. And do feel free to grab a thong bikini bottom from the stand over here before you do the slip-n-slide. It’s on the house for you. 🙂 [sub] okey, maybe I just wanna see you in it. [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/133 "2002-07-13T02:59:11Z")
::wanders in from nowhere in particular:: **Stiletto**? Where didja want this 50 gallon drum of special dark? I managed to cram 2 barrels each of regular, fudge, and white chocolate sauce in the auxillary storage area, but there was no room for this one. And hey, what sicko ordered the 200lbs of baking chocolate, anyway? I found the order in my suggestion box, but it wasn’t signed. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/134 "2002-07-13T06:08:04Z")
I have a feeling we’re going to make **a lot** of money off this movie… That’s it ladies, you’re doing great. Those of you wearing thongs please adjust them so **Stiletto** can touch you up. We don’t want any chocolate lines showing. ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/135 "2002-07-13T07:10:58Z")
**Skeezix** , just put the 50 gallon drum over by slip-n-slide #2. I don’t know if we’ll need it, but that’s the best place I can think of to put it for now. 2 barrels of white chocolate, and _200 lbs of baking chocolate_?!?! WTF? Hey, **Horseflesh** , were you planning on making a 300 lb white chocolate brownie or something? Who ordered this stuff? _reads the label on the 50 gallon drum_ :eek: :mad: YOU ORDERED _GENERIC_ CHOCOLATE? I can’t believe you’re letting these ladies slip-n-slide in _generic_ chocolate. Didn’t you tell me this was a high-budget film? _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/136 "2002-07-13T09:33:23Z")
**Stiletto** , are you applying that chocolate with your _face_? Look in the mirror man! _patting 50 gal drum_ Aha! I see it’s arrived. No, what we have here is part of a cunning plan. Chocolate is our weapon, right? I plan to coat our squadron fighters with this stuff. Our pilots will be invulnerable to attack! Victory is assured my friend! I needed to buy chocolate in bulk. The generic is just as good as the expensive stuff when it comes to deflecting laser blasts. True, this film is high-budget, but I’m no James Cameron. We’re going to finish this on time and _under_ budget. Er, chocolate _can_ withstand a hyperjump, can’t it? \ Ladies! If you didn’t get a good first coating, please feel free to take another run. Great, the caterer has just pulled up. Everybody, lunch in 15! And those of you who have been approved by **Stil** may choose your boobie fruits now. Bring on the grub! ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/137 "2002-07-13T11:46:09Z")
**Stiletto** honey I am ready for my personal touch up now 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/138 "2002-07-13T12:14:41Z")
OK folks, there’s a fresh concoction of chocolate, heavy cream, and amaretto cooling in the fridge right now (this is real life – I’ve got a Mensa RG meeting tomorrow) which will be transformed into chocolate truffles. I’ll contribute it to the Rebel Doper Alliance on the condition that it be treated appropriately, ie not used on the slip & slide. Actually, if the opposition has any chocoholics (has anyone heard from the opposition lately?), this might put them into a stupor. Yes, of course, the RDA can do quality control testing! **Stiletto** , the knotwork looks as good as it felt! ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/139 "2002-07-13T15:45:25Z")
**Horseflesh** , how exactly are you planning on putting a chocolate coating on the fighters? They’re _teflon_\* coated and done in matte black. Chocolate doesn’t stick to teflon. Neither does much of anything else. _sigh_ These movie directors really need to check on these things first. And _no_\* I have not been applying the body frosting with my face. 😛 But you have to remove the previous coating somehow. 😃 **cjhoworth** , the truffles sound like a marvelous secret weapon. But I think we’ll have to try them first. 🙂 **ems** if you’ll just sit down in thie chair in the makeup area, you definitely need a touch-up. \*follows **ems** into the makeup area and _closes the curtain_. Good thing he just called lunch. This could take a while. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434/140 "2002-07-13T15:56:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leechbabe \* > \*\*And hey **LurkMeister** before you get all dejected and run off I am sure we can find a position for you. Obviously being a pilot is out but how about chocolate viscosity engineer? \*\* ::brightens up:: Would that be checking the chocolate viscosity before or after it’s applied? I can handle either job, but I need to know what equipment to prepare. If it’s prior to application, I’ll need a supply of large plastic spoons. If it’s after, I can probably do it with my bare hands. I’d also like to volunteer to be a truffle taster. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/announcement-to-world-i-am-now-in-charge/117434.md?page=8)