# Annoy a liberal: put a stupid sticker on your car **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 27, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416 "2005-04-27T19:19:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/41 "2005-04-27T22:29:16Z")
> [@11811](#): > > Liberalism: We don’t know what’s wrong with the country, but we can fix it. > Conservatism: There’s nothing wrong with the country, but we can fix that. > Per P.J. O’Roarke, approximately. Yeah, at least P.J. was funny, and could take a ab at conservatives too (i say “was”, because i think he lost his funny some time ago). I like another one of his definitions: liberal: someone who’s happy to kill an unborn child but not a convicted murderer. Note: this is not my position, but i still think it’s funny ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/42 "2005-04-27T22:38:42Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Conservatism: The idea that the government should stay the hell out of your personal life, so long as you are not gay, liberal, female, foreign, young, old, pro-choice, black, brown, yellow, paisley, a university professor, a student, use the library or internet, or receive food stamps or other public assistance. …or hooked up to a feeding tube. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/43 "2005-04-27T23:37:17Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > Conservatism: Making the government just small enough to fit in your bedroom. I like this one. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/44 "2005-04-28T00:14:11Z")
Oooh! I got one: “Conservatives: Buncha whiny cunts!” Pithy, no? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/45 "2005-04-28T00:25:53Z")
> [@ouryL](#): > > I’d rather “Be Hard and Work Happy”! :rolleyes: :eek: That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all month! Annoy a conservative: Get rich by treating your employees like human beings! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/46 "2005-04-28T01:48:05Z")
> [@wonderwench](#): > > Liberals: people who think that the words “to promote the general welfare” in the Constitution mean to promote welfare generally. Liberals are people who want to spend 5 billion to feed the world. Conservatives are peopel who want to spend 10 billion to blow it up. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/47 "2005-04-28T01:57:56Z")
> [@wonderwench](#): > > Liberalism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, can help himself Conservatism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, is helping others. > [@continuity eror](#): > > Conservatism: Making the government just small enough to fit in your bedroom. (zing! Great one, **eror**!) Of course, if this happens, you can do what Grover Norquist recommends and wrestle it into the bathroom to drown it in the tub. ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/48 "2005-04-28T02:08:42Z")
Conservative: America! Love it or leave it! Liberal: If you love living in America, shut up and pay your taxes! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/49 "2005-04-28T02:12:31Z")
Conservatives: the people who believe government doesn’t work, then get elected and prove it. (Disclaimer: There is a corresponding “liberals” joke, also by P.J. O’Rourke, but I can’t find it at the moment.) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/50 "2005-04-28T02:14:53Z")
Oh, here’s one (slightly modified from an original by Will Rogers, to fit the Canadian context): I’m not a member of any organized political party; I’m a New Democrat. ---
**Author:** ![fushj00mang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fushj00mang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fushj00mang)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/51 "2005-04-28T02:32:40Z")
A conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged. Or, in the classic of Winston Churchill “If you’re a conservative at age 20, then you’re heartless. If you’re a liberal at 40, then you’re mindless.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/52 "2005-04-28T02:48:03Z")
Conservatives and Liberals usually have the same beliefs about social policies - it’s just that Liberals have them thirty years earlier. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/53 "2005-04-28T10:30:29Z")
To complete this couplet: A liberal is a conservative who’s been laid off; (or) A liberal is a conservative who’s been falsely arrested. > [@fushj00mang](#): > > A conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged. > > … ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/54 "2005-04-28T12:40:26Z")
Liberals are like a baby. Lots of noise at one end, and no sense of responsiblity at the other. - modified from a quote from Ronald Reagan Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/55 "2005-04-28T12:48:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Liberals are like a baby. Lots of noise at one end, and no sense of responsiblity at the other. > > - modified from a quote from Ronald Reagan Heh heh. Pot calling a kettle a mentally subnormal inconinent. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/56 "2005-04-28T12:52:03Z")
At least the shit at the diapered end isn’t a permanent form of stuffing. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/57 "2005-04-28T12:53:17Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Liberals are like a baby. Lots of noise at one end, and no sense of responsiblity at the other. > > - modified from a quote from Ronald Reagan This was actually funny. What, may I ask, was the original quote? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/58 "2005-04-28T13:03:19Z")
“Time for my cookie. Where’s my cookie? Mommy?” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/59 "2005-04-28T13:43:28Z")
> [@fushj00mang](#): > > A conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged. And a liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416/60 "2005-04-28T14:06:02Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Liberals are like a baby. Lots of noise at one end, and no sense of responsiblity at the other. A conservative is a whiner who likes to whine about how much liberals whine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoy-a-liberal-put-a-stupid-sticker-on-your-car/301416.md?page=4)