# Annoying Assumptions About Names **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 9, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461 "2004-06-09T15:37:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/41 "2004-06-09T18:44:17Z")
> [@Jayn\_Newell](#): > > My first name is difficult to pronounce if heard, and harder to pronounce when being read, being French. I grew up in a small community, so when I was younger this wasn’t a big problem. When I got older, though, people started shortening it to ‘Marjie’, and then ‘Marj’ (Thankfully, since Marjie is as easy to make fun of as my full first name, apparently). My name is a tough one to get on the first try. And I’m always really impressed when people do listen carefully. It is from Shakespeare’s _Antony and Cleopatra_ - Charmian. It has Persian/Egyptian roots, though there is the similarly pronounced Charmion that has a Celtic background (IIRC, I may be mistaken). It rhymes with Canadian or Peruvian, avian, Tasmanian, Australian… etc. Growing up in a francophone community, there was never a problem. In French it rhymes with Marianne. (Consequently, when people meet my old schoolmates and hear them call me what sounds like “Charmi-Anne” they look befuddled). When I went to an English highschool, no one got it. They always said Charmaine. _twitch… twitch…_ So I went by “Charmi” because I _hated_ Charmaine. My friend’s mother heard me introduce myself as Charmi and she was disgusted. She said “You make people learn your name.” Similarly, an old family friend was apalled and said “Do _not_ dumb down your name!” That was only a few years ago. Since then, I’ve been going only by Charmian. (I only give leeway to certain English-as-a-second-language folks who really can’t get their lips around the phonetics. E.g./ I’ve noticed Asians with heavy accents struggle with it, so it comes out as Shameen.) I’ve noticed in part it’s that people “see” without “looking” and/or “hear” without “listening.” They see my name on a page, but they don’t _look_ and it and _read_ it, so 95% of the time I have to send back business cards, trophies, awards etc. to get reprinted/re-engraved. They don’t _listen_ to me say “Charmian” they just hear something and associate it to the nearest thing they know, which is Charmaine… or Charmin toilet paper. As an adult, it doesn’t bug me so much, but as a kid it bugged me when my trophies or birthday cakes were misspelled. Strangely, people don’t try to shorten it to Charmi, Charm or Char. Since it’s not an obvious one, they don’t even try. ---
**Author:** ![counsel\_wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/65b543/32.png) [@counsel\_wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/counsel_wolf)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/42 "2004-06-09T18:56:18Z")
You’se all have it easy… My name is Ralph, that’ll be a silent L please, yes, I will correct you every single time you get it wrong in my presence. No I’m not named after Ralph Fiennes, Ralph Richardson or Ralph Vaughn Williams, yes, I know it’s also pronounced with the L by other people. No, I’m not tempted to change the spelling, yes if you get it repeatedly wrong I will think less of you. ---
**Author:** ![JerH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bb73d2/32.png) [@JerH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerH)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/43 "2004-06-09T19:06:48Z")
Just don’t responed when people call you by the wrong name - that’s what happens when someone calls me “Jerry” - of course, it’s usually someone trying to ingratiate themselves with me (salesmen and the like), so it’s someone I would have ignored anyway. My dad’s first name is James, but since that was the same as his father he has always gone by his middle name. It was always easy to recognize telemarketers because they’d be the ones who asked “Is Jim there?” ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/44 "2004-06-09T19:25:16Z")
> [@5que](#): > > (Okay, it was kind of funny when South Park first started, but that’s worn off by now…) My husband feels your pain. He can’t walk into a room full of our friends without hearing, “Timmy!” like the Timmy character on South Park says it. ---
**Author:** ![RitzyRae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aca169/32.png) [@RitzyRae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitzyRae)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/45 "2004-06-09T19:37:34Z")
May higher powers have mercy on you if you meet my friend Pamela, and you call her Pam. She \*will \* kill you. Nicknames are a funny thing, and it seems to me that some families, or some people, are more prone to give you one than others. My family, for instance, seems to pride themselves on two things 1) being highly sarcastic and 2) their ability to give you a permanent nickname fairly quickly. Observe what has happened to some of my family and friends: Robert - D.P. Rachel - Rae, Shellie Ashley - Mo Garrett - G. Matt - Tuley Paige - Nator Pamela - Pumba Khara - Kia In our family, this happens out of great affection, and there is usually a good reason why you got stuck with the nickname you got stuck with. It started with my grandmother, and we seem to carry on the tradition in her honor. Though I’ll never forget when I had a new school friend come over, and after some time in the company of my family she confided that “we must not like each other very much.” After further discussion, I found out she was not used to all the sarcasm and “name calling.” 🙂 Now, of course, strangers automatically deciding to use a nickname for you, or being unable to comprehend what you truly wish to be called, is fairly rude. Anybody else have a family that’s nickname happy? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/46 "2004-06-09T19:38:04Z")
I used to frequent a sub shop where the owner refered to me as Bob. So much so that when I called in an order, I’d identify myself as Bob so that he’d know it was me. But he eventually started calling me Robert. Probably as a sign of respect. But I didn’t car for that. My name is Todd. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/47 "2004-06-09T20:12:56Z")
As a teacher, I eally try to get names right. I apologize in advance the first day if I butcher the name calling roll, then I write down the prefered pronunciation or nickname and use that for the rest of the year. Common respect demands that. Mine is little problem: John. The only people allowed to call me Johnny are family members who have known me at least 50 years. Since this disqualifies even my mother, I don’t sweat it too much. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/48 "2004-06-09T20:16:13Z")
All you people have it easy. I HATE my name. I’ve always hated it, for as far back into my childhood I can remember I hated my name. Okay, hate is maybe too strong; I’ve always _disliked_ my name. My name is Patrick. This name just yields itself to so many problems. To me, Patrick, the full form, sounds incredibly serious/pretentious/dorky. Its what my parents would use when they yelled at me. It’s what my parents would use when they introduced me their high-fasion suit-wearing clients. “Ah, so nice to see you again. Have you met our son Patrick?” Gaaaaaah. And then we get to the short form. Pat. Say it again - Pat. One more time - Pat. Don’t tell me you didn’t think “woman” every single time. Pat is short for Patricia. No two ways about it. You can’t honestly tell me that “Pat” is a masculine sounding name. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/49 "2004-06-09T20:19:10Z")
Why not use “Rick”? I know of a Frederic who goes by Ric. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/50 "2004-06-09T20:21:54Z")
COUNSEL WOLF – > [@](#): > > My name is Ralph, that’ll be a silent L please. Does that mean you pronounce your name “Raff” or “Rafe”? Just curious. PEPPERLANDGIRL, your hub is a victim of the phonomenon EATS\_CRAYONS pointed out, which is the “see” a name without really reading it. I say E\_C’s name and read “Charmaine” (without the “e”) and had to read through her post before I realized I had made a wrong assumption. Whoops! But worse with Jaime is the IMO deplorable tendency of young American parents to use cutesy spellings in order to make their child’s rather common name “unique.” Like “Tailyr” and “Ashleigh” and “Conyr”. Some people really _are_ naming their kids “Jamie” and spelling it “Jaime” – usually girl Jamies. The thinking, as explained to me, is that its “Jai” (pronounced “Jay”) and “me” (pronounced “me”). Isn’t that adorable??? Couldn’t you just _die_ its so cute ‘n’ unique??? Every time I see that spelling of Jamie I think “I hope you go through life being called ‘Hai-meh.’” But that’s a wee bit meanspirited, isn’t it? My only complaint is with the few people who have asked me what Jodi is short for. Uh, it’s short for Jodi. And the only family nickname I ever had was “Toad” (as in “Jodi-Todi”) until I was old enough to give anyone calling me that a fast kick in the ankles. But you learn to like not having a nickname when the alternative is to be called Toad. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/51 "2004-06-09T20:37:34Z")
Hyey! My sister’s name is **Jodi**! Same spelling – she’d be so thrilled. My name is Diane. If I’m called “Lady Di” or “Diana” – which happens more often than you’d guess, I give the chilly response, "You’re talking to a dead princess. My name is _Diane_. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/52 "2004-06-09T21:06:17Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > When I went to an English highschool, no one got it. They always said Charmaine. _twitch… twitch…_ So I went by “Charmi” because I _hated_ Charmaine. I wanted to go to the French school, but ended up at the English one. As far as pronouncing my name, I didn’t mind too much, especially with teachers, because if you’ve never seen the name before and don’t speak French, it isn’t said like it’s spelled. What got annoying was when I started taking French classes and having to correct my fracophone teachers. I never had to more than once with any of them, but geesh! I swear I’m gonna move to Quebec. I hate my name, but at least there it’s so common I won’t have pronouciation troubles ever again. Or I’ll just change it to Jayn Newell for real 😉 ---
**Author:** ![counsel\_wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/65b543/32.png) [@counsel\_wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/counsel_wolf)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/53 "2004-06-09T21:14:31Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > Does that mean you pronounce your name “Raff” or “Rafe”? Nothing wrong with asking. Phonetically it’s Rafe (longish a). I’m pretty philosophical about it at this stage but once people realise it’s not pronounced as spelled I get all kinds of weirdness. I’ve been called Wraith, Rave and the ever popular Ray. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/54 "2004-06-09T22:49:02Z")
Nice OP Jimbo 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/55 "2004-06-09T22:52:23Z")
Yeah, I’d always heard “Rafe” but then you said it was pronounced like “Ralph” with a silent “L” and I became slightly confused . . . I confuse easily. [sub]“No no no, it’s _spelled_ ‘Raymond Luxury Yacht’ but it’s _pronounced_ ‘Throat-Wobbler-Mangrove’.”[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/56 "2004-06-09T22:58:28Z")
Ah, the name shortening. Yes, this has happened to me, and to my shame, I finally capitulated once I began college. My name is Elizabeth. Now, my mother gave me a very strange middle name. A 70s trendy name. :dubious: She then proceeded to call me by that name until I was 2. Everyone called me by the trendy 70s name, but my dad HATED it. So, he finally put his foot down and they began calling me “Liz” or sometimes “Lizzie”. This was after we had moved away from our extended family. Throughout middle school, junior high, and high school at the beginning of every new class was this exchange: Day One- Teacher: (insert my last name), Elizabeth? Me: Here! Teacher: Do we call you Beth? Me: No, Liz. Teacher (bewildered): Liz? (furious erasing and scratching in roll book) Day 2 to usually about 5 Me: (hand raised) Teacher: Yes, Beth? Me: Um…it’s Liz. I’m Liz. Teacher: (absently) oh, yes, yes…what did you want? So, on the bright new day of my intrepid adventure into higher learning, I get: Teacher: (insert my last name), Elizabeth? Me: Here! Teacher: Do we call you Beth? And, after years of constant correcting, I caved in: Me: Yes, yes they do. Today, I can be in a room where I am called by all three names, and, amazingly, I remember to answer to them all. FB ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/57 "2004-06-09T23:03:29Z")
My name is Katrina. You may not call me Katie or Trina, and you sure as **fuck** may not call me Kat. Thank you for your kind attention to this matter. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/58 "2004-06-09T23:33:37Z")
My name is Dan. If I’m dealing with someone from the East coast, about 50% of the time they assume my ‘real’ name is Daniel. I’ve had to go round and round with HR departments about this. Hello! If you hire someone, and every piece of paper they fill out for you has their name written “Dan”, why would you fill out all the computer forms with “Daniel”? If you thought I was too stupid to put down my real name, why the fuck did you hire me in the first place? Morons! ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/59 "2004-06-09T23:41:53Z")
> [@RitzyRae](#): > > Observe what has happened to some of my family and friends: > > Robert - D.P. > Rachel - Rae, Shellie > Ashley - Mo > Garrett - G. > Matt - Tuley > Paige - Nator > Pamela - Pumba > Khara - Kia I know a guy, Anthony, who is known far and wide as Chuck. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461/60 "2004-06-10T00:16:15Z")
I always ask a person’s preferences if I don’t know. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-assumptions-about-names/249461.md?page=4)