# Annoying Church Sign Messages, part whatever we're at now. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 14, 2002, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880 "2002-07-14T05:07:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/1 "2002-07-14T05:07:20Z")
I know we’ve had threads on this before, but I saw one today that really annoyed the hell out of me. Stop, Drop and Roll Doesn’t Work in Hell :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cruktar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d9b06d/32.png) [@Cruktar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cruktar)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/2 "2002-07-14T05:29:51Z")
“This church is prayer-conditioned!” “Give the devil an inch and he will be your ruler.” Oy. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/3 "2002-07-14T06:21:59Z")
A church alive is worth the drive! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/4 "2002-07-14T06:49:15Z")
BARF. I wish they’d stop being so damn cutesy. And so hellfire and brimstone. Why can’t they just advertise coming events or times and stop advertising? ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/5 "2002-07-14T06:52:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*I know we’ve had threads on this before, but I saw one today that really annoyed the hell out of me. > > Stop, Drop and Roll > Doesn’t Work in Hell > > :rolleyes: \*\* Some of them aren’t so bad. “Nothing is talked about more but practiced less then prayer.” All in all I can’t think of any that annoy me. On the other hand I’m not annoyed by billboards for advertisers either. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/6 "2002-07-14T08:01:31Z")
**THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH AND PAYDAY IS COMING** ---
**Author:** ![partly\_warmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@partly\_warmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partly_warmer)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/7 "2002-07-14T08:22:05Z")
Kids, they’re just applying the Madison Avenue appeal you love so much on prime time TV. They’re being funny. It’s an effort. Lighten up. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/8 "2002-07-14T09:17:46Z")
I was going to start a thread about this one: “People who have known suffering rarely seem unhappy.” !!! Is this supposed to be some sort of counter-intuitive deep wisdom? I don’t get it at ALL. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/9 "2002-07-14T11:07:13Z")
[Paula Poundstone] I’m sure the wages of sin ARE death… but after taxes are taken out it’s just a tired feeling, really… [/Paula Poundstone] ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/10 "2002-07-14T11:54:30Z")
_The most important element in any home is God._ Huh? “Where should we put God?” “Oh, I think He’d look dandy over here between these two wall sconces.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/11 "2002-07-14T14:19:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by partly\_warmer \* > Kids, they’re just applying the Madison Avenue appeal you love so much on prime time TV. **I channel surf when a prime time (or any time) commercial comes on** > [@](#): > > They’re being funny. **Obviously not** > [@](#): > > It’s an effort. **Pathetic at best. Insulting at worst.** > [@](#): > > Lighten up. **I will if they will** ---
**Author:** ![peasea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc79bd/32.png) [@peasea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peasea)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/12 "2002-07-14T16:02:33Z")
My favorite: Got Jesus? Milk won’t save your soul. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/13 "2002-07-14T16:19:31Z")
To get to heaven: Turn right and go straight. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/14 "2002-07-14T17:04:38Z")
Recently spoted on St. Joseph Bvd, Orleans, Ontario: “Nails didn’t hold Jesus to the cross: Love did.” _sings_ All you need is love… ba ba ba baah… E. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/15 "2002-07-14T17:52:12Z")
My favorite: “You will burn in the fires of Hell forever if you don’t join our church” ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/16 "2002-07-14T18:40:07Z")
“WHAT’S MISSING FROM THIS CH CH? U R” _- and -_ IF GOD HAD A REFRIGERATOR, YOUR PICTURE WOULD BE ON IT ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/17 "2002-07-14T18:44:46Z")
“Welcome to McDonalds” ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/18 "2002-07-14T18:47:22Z")
There is a church where I live that has some really creepy messages on it’s sign, they add blood & guts to the old hellfire and brimstone message. One example: **A sharp toungue will cut it’s own throat**. There always seems to be some mention of physical violence on their sign when I drive past, it’s creepy. BTW, the signs **masonite** posted were actually kind of cute. At the very least they aren’t offensive like some of the signs I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![VDarlin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e56c9b/32.png) [@VDarlin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VDarlin)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/19 "2002-07-14T18:48:11Z")
“Don’t wait until it takes six men to take you to church” I see them all the time, there is a church right next door to my kids’ school, and they’ve got a new one on each side of their sign every week. I really only get a good look at one side of the sign, thankfully. This last week’s wasn’t so bad, “Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday”. For the most part, this church is pretty good at not having all Christian glurgy type messages. The one at the beginning of this message is from another, nearby church, that I used to pass everyday, but no longer have to(Thank God! ha!). ~V ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2002, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/20 "2002-07-14T19:18:20Z")
“my mind is open to all possibility” I actually went home and grabbed my camera. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880.md?page=2)