# Annoying Church Sign Messages, part whatever we're at now. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 14, 2002, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880 "2002-07-14T05:07:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/81 "2002-07-18T16:27:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Just prop the stiff up in the window waving ‘hi’. this appeals to me on so many levels it is down right scary. Gotcha Ya! ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/82 "2002-07-18T18:44:25Z")
Shirley, Great idea! Must find some "U"s. Doug ---
**Author:** ![Buliwyf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Buliwyf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buliwyf)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/83 "2002-07-18T21:43:36Z")
* * * I think the churches should go with signs like this: “Hey, our guess is as good as yours” “We promise not to screw your children” “You probably aren’t doing anything on Sunday mornings anyway” “Be like the rest and hedge your bets” * * * Ironically, I’d probably go to a church that had signs like these. If ya gotta talk about God, then do it with a sense of humour damn it. Buliwyf ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2002, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/84 "2002-07-18T23:53:16Z")
From the not-clear-on-the-concept files: ``` "Who's your Daddy? Our Father." ``` ---
**Author:** ![cybersnark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@cybersnark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cybersnark)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/85 "2002-07-19T18:02:34Z")
Back in college, we made a midnight raid on a rather smarmy billboard that read “Jesus is Lord of Knoxville.” We got some black spray paint and changed the capital L to a capital B. Yeah, I know, the spelling isn’t right, but it still got the message across. I can still remember being struck by a severe case of the giggles whenever a car drove by while we were up on each others’ shoulders doing the alterations. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/86 "2002-07-19T19:04:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by red\_dragon60 \* > \*\*The real joke is why Lutherans think it’s funny. \*\* heck, I am not Lutheran, and find it hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/87 "2002-07-19T21:26:44Z")
The most offensive ones are the messages that claim to be quotes from God. I don’t know about God, but I’d certainly be pissed if people were making up quotes attributed to me that I never actually said. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/88 "2002-07-19T21:31:18Z")
Wouldn’t that be “Taking the Lord’s Name in Vain?” ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/89 "2002-07-19T22:58:42Z")
“I’ve Got What You Need” makes it sound like they’re selling drugs “Satan Divides and Subtracts; God Multiplies And Multiplies” Like Tribbles? Does this mean you shouldn’t spill water on the Lord? What if you feed Him after midnight? And, I kid you not, “Jesus Is Your Spiritual Chiropractor” ---
**Author:** ![peasea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc79bd/32.png) [@peasea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peasea)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/90 "2002-07-19T23:28:51Z")
> [@](#): > > And, I kid you not, “Jesus Is Your Spiritual Chiropractor” So, he pokes and twists your soul a little, charges you $70, then tells you to come back every two weeks? Oh, right…every Sunday. ---
**Author:** ![NoUseForAName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NoUseForAName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoUseForAName)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/91 "2002-07-19T23:40:26Z")
“Don’t get burned. Use Sonblock.” ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/92 "2002-07-20T03:29:12Z")
> [@](#): > > From the not-clear-on-the-concept files: > > “Who’s your Daddy? > Our Father.” > [@](#): > > The best position is on your knees. The only church slogan I’ve seen that I ofund offensive is the one that’s on billboards all over the one horse town I live in: “Jesus is LORD over Alvin” Really? _I_ didn’t vote for him. Maybe I should move ot Pearland or Angleton, where Jesus apparentily has no jurisdiction. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880/93 "2002-07-20T04:35:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Philosophocles \* > \*\*I’m not kidding about this one. > > Painted on the steps in front of Traveler’s Rest Baptist Church: > > “NO SITTING ON THE STEPS” > > (The church is in Baltimore, these words were on the steps for much of the 1980s, eventually the warning was painted over and the name of the church was changed) \*\* Could be some sort of **Stairway to Heaven** reference too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-church-sign-messages-part-whatever-were-at-now/118880.md?page=4)