# Annoying Historical Myths **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 28, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959 "2004-03-28T20:04:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Last\_Will\_of\_Threon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Last\_Will\_of\_Threon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Last_Will_of_Threon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/1 "2004-03-28T20:04:04Z")
This is actually a thread idea I stole from another message board. The thread over there seems to have died, but I found it very interesting and educational. I just happen to have a friend who is also interested in history. Problem is, he will believe absolutely anything he reads in books, sees on TV, or reads _on the internet_. Fucking stop telling me that Bloody Mary, Mary I Queen of England, bathed in the blood of virgins! And for fuck’s sake, stop telling me that Bloody Mary, Queen of England, was Mary Queen of Scots. She was a fucking different Mary! Yes, she is one of the Bloody Mary’s who will scratch your eyes out if you say her name three times in front of a mirror, but she is not the Bloody Mary who ruled England! Also, not so much a myth, but, the next person to tell me that Shakespeare is an example of Middle English or Old English gets a lead pipe upside the head! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/2 "2004-03-28T20:12:18Z")
George Washington chopped down a cherry tree. Grant was the only man in Virginia who owned a slave during Lee’s surrender. Let’s see, what else… Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with that woman, and George Bush is the education president. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/3 "2004-03-28T20:16:06Z")
A _Myth_ is a female moth. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/4 "2004-03-28T20:18:24Z")
“Let them eat cake.” Argh. ---
**Author:** ![Walton\_Firm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/45deac/32.png) [@Walton\_Firm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walton_Firm)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/5 "2004-03-28T20:20:14Z")
People generally believed that the earth was flat, right up to Columbus’ discovery of America. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/6 "2004-03-28T20:21:18Z")
Christopher was the first to sail to America. Vikings wore helmets with horns on them. The USSR collapsed when the Berlin Wall did… ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/7 "2004-03-28T20:22:50Z")
Anything about the Alamo. The upcoming movie is really annoying me. “They were ordinary men who found themselves at the wrong place at the wrong time.” “They had the courage to stand against an empire.” What the hold fucking fuck? It makes it seems like they were just sitting there, minding their own business when a bunch of bloodthirsty Mexicans decided to up and invade good old Texas. Give me an effing break. They were a bunch of guys living on Mexican soil annoyed because the Mexicans decided they couldn’t have slaves anymore. And dadgummit, no one takes a Texan’s slaves away from him. Especially not a bunch of dirty Mexicans. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/8 "2004-03-28T20:31:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Fucking stop telling me that Bloody Mary, Mary I Queen of England, bathed in the blood of virgins! Sounds like he got her confused with Erzabet Bathory. ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/9 "2004-03-28T20:34:31Z")
Just off the top of my head… America saved Europe’s ass in World War II. The Civil War was not about slavery. Most slave-owners were actually good to their slaves. WWII ended the Great Depression. These aren’t completely false, but they aren’t completely true, either, and they oversimplify complex historical events, and are uttered as matter-of-facts by too many people, including history teachers. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/10 "2004-03-28T20:38:29Z")
Here’s an obscure but annoying one: Bloody Mary got her nickname because she was so hideously deformed from the syphilis she inherited from her father. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/11 "2004-03-28T20:39:06Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > Just off the top of my head… America saved Europe’s ass in World War II. We _did_ save Europe’s ass! OK, the rest of Europe would have gotten by alright without us and won the war–but the ass of Europe was still in dire peril as late as 1944. Europe’s left elbow was not even retaken till early '45. What would Europe be doing today without its ass, huh? Ever think of _that?_ ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/12 "2004-03-28T20:43:16Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > What would Europe be doing today without its ass, huh? Ever think of _that?_ It would be disasstrous. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/13 "2004-03-28T20:44:22Z")
Any of [URL=http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/sayings.htm] shit that I can’t go a week without getting in my Inbox. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/14 "2004-03-28T20:47:14Z")
Any of [this](http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/sayings.htm) shit that I can’t go a week without getting in my Inbox. Ahem. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/15 "2004-03-28T20:51:12Z")
“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it” Voltaire never said this. It’s a very noble thing to say, but he never said it. I promise you. Please stop misattributing this quote to him. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/16 "2004-03-28T21:09:59Z")
The ancient Celts were a bunch of bloody savages, and that they had rituals of human sacrifice all the time, including burning people alive in giant wicker men; therefore, it was altogether a grand thing when the Romans killed/enslaved them. ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/17 "2004-03-28T21:16:08Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > We _did_ save Europe’s ass! OK, the rest of Europe would have gotten by alright without us and won the war–but the ass of Europe was still in dire peril as late as 1944. Europe’s left elbow was not even retaken till early '45. > > What would Europe be doing today without its ass, huh? Ever think of _that?_ Hitler was the asshole of Europe, and after Germany froze its ass off in the Russian wilderness, he ceased to exist, much like hole of a donut that’s been eaten. What’s offensive about the “We saved your ass,” myth is that Europe was begging the US to get involved long before they did, yet there’s a belief that the US popped up off the couch and rushed over there as soon as there was just cause. ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/18 "2004-03-28T21:18:18Z")
> [@Francesca](#): > > “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it” > > Voltaire never said this. It’s a very noble thing to say, but he never said it. I promise you. Please stop misattributing this quote to him. I’m Tallantyred of that too. (OK, I just looked it up.) ---
**Author:** ![Necro\_Romancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/50afbb/32.png) [@Necro\_Romancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necro_Romancer)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/19 "2004-03-28T21:44:17Z")
Catherine the Great was killed while trying to have sex with a horse. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959/20 "2004-03-28T22:14:16Z")
Henry VIII did not behead all six of his wives, goddammit! Only two of them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annoying-historical-myths/236959.md?page=2)