# Annual Vibrator Sales **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 27, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631 "2000-01-27T23:29:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/1 "2000-01-27T23:29:00Z")
No, I’m not talking about where they have them. Funnee’s Phallics buy one get second half off. Offer excludes rechargeable and those using ‘D’ cell batteries. I’m talking about total numbers. Funnee’s Phallics makes 90% of the world’s artificial organ’s. If we don’t have what you want, we’ll retool for you (minimum order of 10 required). When you only want one of his organs. Just in case milk goes out of style I’m researching this industry. The industry seems to be in the middle of a growth spurt. Do any of our members have some numbers on this ? ---
**Author:** ![fuzzy-wuzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b38774/32.png) [@fuzzy-wuzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzy-wuzzy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/2 "2000-01-27T23:40:00Z")
hmmmm well I would say funee that if you can get a count on the penis pumps, inflatible female dolls and such at the same time you might get a booming business going. * * * “Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/3 "2000-01-28T00:35:00Z")
Put me down for a case. Assorted speeds, colors and textures, please. * * * Always be ready to speak your mind and a base man will avoid you. -William Blake ---
**Author:** ![lvick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d07c76/32.png) [@lvick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lvick)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/4 "2000-01-28T05:51:00Z")
You did not just say “in the middle of a growth spurt,” did you? Sheesh ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/5 "2000-01-28T06:15:00Z")
Well, you certainly got my attention. If you do go into business, you might consider taking me on as a designer. I have a few ideas that I’ve never seen implemented… * * * An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/6 "2000-01-28T06:36:00Z")
::Checking my mailbox for my free sample…:: Nope, none yet. Your marketing needs some work! * * * Love stinks! (Yeah, yeah!) ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/7 "2000-01-28T07:13:00Z")
if you want to know how these work with a male partner involved… let me know. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/8 "2000-01-28T10:17:00Z")
I know someone who’s wearing hers out from overuse. I think you may have a potential customer there. 🙂 * * * **-PIGEONMAN-** Returns! [The Legend Of PigeonMan](http://www.hotkey.net.au/~guanolad/pigeonman/) - **By Popular Demand!** Enjoy, enjoy! ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/9 "2000-01-28T10:22:00Z")
Videotaped testimonials happily accepted… Anyway considering the growing number of people remaining single and the decline of stigmas attcahed to sex toys it seems that this industry must be on the upswing. But I slapped “annual vibrator sales” into the google search engine and nothing comes of it. Seems like this industry just screams for an idea like Funnee’s Pallus of the Month Club. Of course we would like input from both sexes but frankly if you’re male you needn’t send the videotape testemonials. ---
**Author:** ![Atrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/10 "2000-01-28T15:54:00Z")
Ok, along with this…let’s start a poll here to see what percentage of our dopers have them…then we can extrapolate that data to give us a reasonable approximation…Fess up dopers, who ahs some toys at home? ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/11 "2000-01-28T16:01:00Z")
funneefarmer, would you accept returns? I see a lot of used vibrators for sale in thrift shops. Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/12 "2000-01-29T06:05:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by handy: > **funneefarmer, would you accept returns? I see a lot of used vibrators for sale in thrift shops. Hmmm.** Only on unopened packages. We’re thinking of offering several styles from actual men. Some plaster molds from illustrious members of society so that you can know for certain how a celebraty feels. We are also considering making in home mold kits. You take a plaster mold of your beloved and send it back to us. We make an exact replica so that you can have him whenever you want. Handy for those long business trips and football season. ---
**Author:** ![JoltSucker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@JoltSucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoltSucker)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2000, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/13 "2000-01-29T06:32:00Z")
OK, cute idea, but you’ve got some practical difficulties to work out. How are you going to keep your model erect long enough for the mold to harden? If you go the constant stimulation (of something other than the penis, because it’s stuck in a vat of cold, wet goo) route, you run the risk of orgasm before you get your mold. Then again, if the subject’s penis is anything like mine, it’s constantly squirming around beyond its owner’s control. Even when erect. Wouldn’t you also want to “supersize that”? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/14 "2000-01-28T19:43:00Z")
I volunteer to be a ‘fluffer’ in your organ molding workshop, Funnee. And the best way I think to get the mold would be with quickset plaster of paris. ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/15 "2000-01-28T19:50:00Z")
I guess you would make the mold the same way that they do it for the current realistic ones. Whatever method that is. Probably would not use plaster though, probably the stuff they use in the dentist’s office to make molds of your teeth. As for gathering the numbers I might try to find some company names and see if they are public (no freudian slip here) and check their SEC numbers. Maybe figure out what industry they are in and get some financial data from there. Other than that I have no idea. Jeffery ---
**Author:** ![Frankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Frankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankie)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/16 "2000-01-28T19:51:00Z")
Hey if MissDavis is a fluffer…can I be a model?? * * * -Frankie “Mother Mercy, can your loins bear fruit forever?/Is your fecundity a trammel or a treasure?” -Bad Religion ---
**Author:** ![JoltSucker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@JoltSucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoltSucker)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/17 "2000-01-28T19:55:00Z")
I **sure hope** quickset plaster of paris doesn’t stick to skin! OUCH!!! Be sure to coat that thing with a lubricant before you stick it in the goo. It’s probably a good idea to warm the stuff up. You’d have to be a pretty damned good fluffer to keep your model stiff if you use cold plaster of paris. Of course, the only way to get your johnson out would be to lose your erection, which might be hard to do if you’ve been stiff for more than 30 or 40 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/18 "2000-01-28T20:06:00Z")
Not to be all **modatorial** on my first day and all, but does someone have an answer to the OP? I can feel my MPSIMS finger itching. * * * Livin’ on Tums, vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/19 "2000-01-28T21:05:00Z")
Um . . . guys? Do **not** use Plaster of Paris. When it sets, it has an exothermic reaction. Can you imagine explaining first and second degree burns in _that_ vicinity at the emergency room? ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631/20 "2000-01-28T22:35:00Z")
I think we’d also want our models to make sure they shave first as well. A little Vaseline or other lubricant (liberally applied by our fluffers) prior to the molding process would definitly be helpful in removing the mold. Viagara or some other drugs with that type of effect might be handy to have at the ready. On a side note do I remember something about laughing gas having this side effect ? As for the OP it came up during this past deer season during a BS session at lunchtime. I was recently reminded of this while frying up some tenderloin for supper. I figure it has to be well into the six figure range for all of North America (US and Canada). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/annual-vibrator-sales/6631.md?page=2)