# Another AMA for the (not so) Amateur Porn Director **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 16, 2015, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795 "2015-02-16T05:41:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![mr.jp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@mr.jp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.jp)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/121 "2015-03-16T14:36:15Z")
Do you have any advice for me when attempting to film me and my girlfriend having sex? Like where to put the camera, or other stuff we should think about? ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/122 "2015-03-16T14:45:09Z")
Baseball. Think about baseball. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/123 "2015-03-16T15:47:28Z")
> [@Rodgers01](#): > > If we (me, any of us, all of us), submitted a script, would you consider shooting it? > [@MikeSouth](#): > > Im being totally honest with you here…story driven porn is only a very small percentage of the business these days and most directors write the script themselves, its the primary reason why you dont see good story driven porn like “The Opening of Misty Beethoven” or “Dixie Ray Hollywood Star” (which was later released as an R rated mainstream film called “It’s called Murder Baby” the first hardcore film ever to be released without sex as a mainstream theatrical release. > > In all honesty if your script is good register it with the screen writers guild and try to get it made into a real movie. If its basically a porn fantasy youd like to see brought to life Id be happy to take a look at it and forward it to my friends Stormy Daniels or Brad Armstrong who both make story driven releases for Wicked Pictures. (It would end up on cable TV as well) my email is mikesouth at mikesouth dot com How about titles? I have a short attention span and the idea of a whole script is daunting. But I’m great at single sentences! How about $50 a pop for every movie title you use? Here’s a sample: _Sharktopussy._ I leave it to you how that concept would translate to the screen. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/124 "2015-03-16T21:13:09Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > How about titles? I have a short attention span and the idea of a whole script is daunting. But I’m great at single sentences! > > How about $50 a pop for every movie title you use? Here’s a sample: _Sharktopussy._ I leave it to you how that concept would translate to the screen. 🙂 The greatest title I ever saw was “Yank My Doodle it’s a Dandy” It certainly beats the current trend of “Stop my ass is on fire 27” As if the first 26 volumes hadn’t thoroughly investigated the topic. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2015, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/125 "2015-03-16T21:39:10Z")
> [@mr.jp](#): > > Do you have any advice for me when attempting to film me and my girlfriend having sex? Like where to put the camera, or other stuff we should think about? Wherever you put it, don’t look at it. I’ve seen a number of those amateurs filming themselves on their webcams, and it’s just annoying to see both participants looking at the camera instead of each other, trying to watch themselves fucking. Video it, and look at it afterward. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/126 "2015-03-17T05:41:57Z")
> [@MikeSouth](#): > > there are a lot of girls in the biz these days that wont work with bi males. Hmm, I wouldn’t have predicted that, care to expand? ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/127 "2015-03-18T03:22:00Z")
> [@MikeSouth](#): > > All the time actually, and it makes sense if you want a group of guys that you know are clean, polite, tested and wont fall in love would you rather try to round them up or would you come to me…there ya go Interesting. Can you elaborate on the conversation that leads to this happening? Is it just chicks who want to experience a gang bang but dont want to be in porn? ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/128 "2015-03-18T04:27:55Z")
> [@mr.jp](#): > > I hope this doesn’t sound racist, but I have a dislike for black-on-black porn specifically, since it’s more difficult to see what’s going on around the sexual organs. I watch black-on-white porn in both configurations. No, shooting a lot of video, I’ve run into the problem of shooting very dark-skinned people. I’ve never shot porn, but it can be difficult just getting a decent shot of a dark-skinned person surrounded by a bunch of light-skinned people. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Winkler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@The\_Winkler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Winkler)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/129 "2015-03-19T05:56:56Z")
Can you get me a job? ---
**Author:** ![Nema98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d2c977/32.png) [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/130 "2015-03-19T21:44:32Z")
> [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > I have noticed in these productions that a lot of them feature real couples that claim they are genuinely into that as a lifestyle. > > I have also seen non-sex porn “actors” playing the husband and gay actors playing the husband. > > So, at least from what I’ve seen it’s either guys really into it or guys who have no problem being hired as extras in porn productions. > > You don’t really see straight porn actors of any status playing these roles. Though occasionally I think I’ve seen a couple recognizable dudes in “Please Bang my Wife” type things. I doubt they have an issues with it. Some of these guys have done 10 man gang bangs with 400lb midgets and stuff, with cameras pointed at their taints. I doubt that pretending to let another actor bang their wife is anymore humilating. Interesting, especially about the part in regards to non sex porn actors. I had noticed some individuals who star in these porn movies, but NEVER play any sexual role. Mostly men, never women. The roles include cuckolds, background in a scene, the son who goes out while his “friend” and his “mom” have sex. Overall they tend to be less attractive than the main actors who do the all the F-ing. Which is not surprising. Now this is different for women, who might play a non sex role for a particular scene but are well known porn stars. ---
**Author:** ![Nema98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d2c977/32.png) [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/131 "2015-03-19T21:47:12Z")
> [@The\_Winkler](#): > > Can you get me a job? Me also, anything besides a cuckold. :p:p:)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Reluctant\_A](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@Reluctant\_A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reluctant_A)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/132 "2015-03-20T03:53:01Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > Oh, and another thing. There should be a law that says the term M.I.L.F. can only apply to women who are old enough to be mothers of _adults_!!! Is a 22 year old woman who has a 3 year old child a mother? Of course she’s a mother. Is it possible that she could be a mother who I’d like to fuck? Sure, entirely possible. But she should _not_ get to wear the label M.I.L.F. > Any woman old enough to do porn is old enough to be a mother. When the term gets used for women younger than 40, it starts to lose all meaning! I like where your head’s at, but I feel like you might be setting the bar just a _little_ high. I’ve always felt like the rule of thumb should be, in order to qualify as a “MILF”, the woman needs to be old enough that she could reasonably be a mother to someone who was, themselves, old enough to reasonably be sexually active. I always felt like that was the point of the “I” in “MILF.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/133 "2015-03-20T15:48:27Z")
I think a MILF should be someone who HAS a child, no other qualifications. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/134 "2015-03-20T16:21:01Z")
Was the term “MILF” in common usage before the first _American Pie_ film? (Original title: “Untitled Teenage Sex Comedy That Can Be Made For Under $10 Million That Most Readers Will Probably Hate But I Think You Will Love”.) In that, “Stifler’s Mom” was played by Jennifer Coolidge who was 39 at the time. I really don’t think anyone under 30 qualifies as a “MILF”. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/135 "2015-03-20T16:28:14Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Was the term “MILF” in common usage before the first _American Pie_ film? (Original title: “Untitled Teenage Sex Comedy That Can Be Made For Under $10 Million That Most Readers Will Probably Hate But I Think You Will Love”.) In that, “Stifler’s Mom” was played by Jennifer Coolidge who was 39 at the time. I really don’t think anyone under 30 qualifies as a “MILF”. It was in use, I don’t know how common it was. I think Boyo Jim is right, any mother will do, but the original usage was probably more aligned with the American Pie usage meaning the Mom of someone I know. ---
**Author:** ![Reluctant\_A](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@Reluctant\_A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reluctant_A)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/136 "2015-03-20T17:41:07Z")
With all due respect, I think that you and **Boyo Jim** are both wrong; a 16 year-old mom is not a MILF. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/137 "2015-03-20T19:00:24Z")
> [@Reluctant\_A](#): > > With all due respect, I think that you and **Boyo Jim** are both wrong; a 16 year-old mom is not a MILF. I think if I were 16 she would be. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/138 "2015-03-20T19:07:46Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I think a MILF should be someone who HAS a child, no other qualifications. Oh baby, reach into your purse and show me the diaper receipt. Tell me about the minivan you just bought! That’s so hot! I want you to climb in my lap and whisper about the benefits of Montessori. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2015, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/139 "2015-03-21T02:54:27Z")
The title of MILF can only be awarded by the contemporaries of the woman’s own kids. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2015, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795/140 "2015-03-21T12:40:14Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > The title of MILF can only be awarded by the contemporaries of the woman’s own kids. Not at all. Just because she’s a MILF doesn’t mean older guys wouldn’t like to fuck her too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ama-for-the-not-so-amateur-porn-director/712795.md?page=8)