# Another annoying creationist bumper sticker **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 23, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644 "2003-04-23T17:58:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/41 "2003-04-24T06:26:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kung fu lola \* > \*\*Which will hopefully begin capering madly in the cthonic blackness any minute now. \*\* And gibbering. It just ain’t right without some gibbering. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/42 "2003-04-24T06:36:34Z")
See, this is why I really am sick and tired of these contentious bumper stickers. They just create ill-will, on both sides. They are irritating. I’ll stick with my Yosemite bumper stickers, thank you. One that irritates me: > [@](#): > > Militant Atheist: I don’t know, and you don’t either. See, how do they know what I do and do not know? Maybe I’m one of those mice in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, who is running an experiment on all you humans. No one should be so confident that they know what I do and do not _know._ Yeesh. Irritating bumper stickers. On both sides. Trust me. Yosemite bumper stickers are so much nicer. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/43 "2003-04-24T07:16:00Z")
The one I always hated was the refrigerator magnet “God said it - I believe it - that ends it.” My Grandmother never understood what I meant when I said that the first three words were redundant. (And no, substituting the word Goddess doesn’t help matters.) I always thought that the little fish that said “Gefilte” was cute. I’ve never seen “Cthulu”. What’s it shaped like? If I ever made one, it would be two un-footed fish - one named “Belief” eating one named “Truth”. Although religious persons may feel singled out by that, it actually applies to everyone, as a reminder. ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/44 "2003-04-24T07:34:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darwin’s Finch \* > \*\*No. Humans are not descended from amphibians. We share a common ancestor with amphibians in the form of tetrapods. \*\* This is the completely correct explanation. However, I find that a lot of people interpret this as “evolved from” in the sense that there was a linear progression from amphibians to humans. For whatever reason, this seems to make evolution easier for some people to understand. It is also wrong, which is where I think the bumper sticker folks are getting this. They seem to think that evolution implies various species magically changing into other “higher” species throughout geologic time. Thus, the bumper sticker. So they’re not only getting evolutionary principles wrong, they’re also misinterpreting fairy tales, since fairy tales were never meant to be taken literally and are in fact just secular parables. _sigh_ I don’t even know where to begin correcting these people. Y’think we should start riding around in vans and passing out scientific journals to unsuspecting pedestrians? ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/45 "2003-04-24T07:55:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dryga\_Yes \* > \*\*“Christians aren’t perfect. Just better than all of you homos and godless atheists and communists and hippies and hip-hoppers with your “pot” and “crack” and “smack”, and your sinful pimping of bitches and hoes, and all the muslims and feminazis and potheads and fuzzy-thinking liberalsand, ooh, the krauts and the frenchies, and the roleplayers slash witches slash satanists, and you can’t forget the people who don’t support our troops in this urgent crisis the nation is going through, and the adulterers and whores, and the pro-abortionists, and the wishy-washy sissies who oppose the death penalty, and that guy who tried to wipe his ass with the Pledge of Allegiance really deserves a special mention, and oh yeah, I almost forgot those “scientists” with their THEORY of evolution.” \*\* LOL, I want just once to hear a devout Christian refer to the “pimping of bitches and hoes.” Perhaps 2000 years in the future, when the world’s religions are based on the scriptures of Dr. Dre, we can incorporate that into the ritual. “For the Doctor said unto his disciples, ‘Bitches are naught but but hoes and tricks, so lick thou upon these nuts as you sucketh the dick.’ In honor of our saviour, let the ceremonial ‘Pimping of bitches and hoes’ commence!” ---
**Author:** ![Tree\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9dc877/32.png) [@Tree\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tree_Boy)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/46 "2003-04-24T08:05:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mhendo \* > \*\*When driving through Arkansas a couple of years ago, a friend and i saw this gem of a sign outside a church: > > **Prolonged exposure to the _son_ may prevent burning.** > > I thought it was pretty damn witty. \*\* Are you sure it wasn’t just a misspelling? It was in Arkansas afterall… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/47 "2003-04-24T08:05:37Z")
**Rex** : I take it you don’t read the webcomic [Sinfest](http://sinfest.net/), then? ---
**Author:** ![Keith\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@Keith\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keith_Berry)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/48 "2003-04-24T09:36:23Z")
I actually saw one that I liked while driving in North Carolina: “TEN PERCENT: If it’s good enough for Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for the government.” (For non-Bible readers: the ten percent refers to the biblical instruction to give a tithe to your church, thus, by implication, kicking a 10 percent out to Jesus) ---
**Author:** ![Sapphire\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sapphire\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapphire_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/49 "2003-04-24T10:11:21Z")
The best ‘fish’ is the one that has the phrase _'N Chips_ inside of it. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/50 "2003-04-24T12:08:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Keith Berry \* > \*\*I actually saw one that I liked while driving in North Carolina: > > “TEN PERCENT: If it’s good enough for Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for the government.” > > (For non-Bible readers: the ten percent refers to the biblical instruction to give a tithe to your church, thus, by implication, kicking a 10 percent out to Jesus) \*\* Ahem. Today’s reading is from the Acts of the Apostles, chapter four, beginning at the thirty-first verse. > [@](#): > > [sup]31[/sup] And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness. [sup]32[/sup] And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common. [sup]33[/sup] And with great power gave the apostles witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus: and great grace was upon them all. [sup]34[/sup] Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold, [sup]35[/sup] And laid them down at the apostles’ feet: and distribution was made unto every man according as he had need. Communism. It’s not only a political philosophy, it’s our Christian duty. Yours for the canonization of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, Steve Wright 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/51 "2003-04-24T12:27:43Z")
> [@](#): > > “For the Doctor said unto his disciples, ‘Bitches are naught but but hoes and tricks, so lick thou upon these nuts as you sucketh the dick.’ In honor of our saviour, let the ceremonial ‘Pimping of bitches and hoes’ commence!” There is no god but Dre, and Snoop Dogg is his prophet! Dr. Jizz-ay (Beeyotch!) ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/52 "2003-04-24T12:40:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tree Boy \* > \*\*Are you sure it wasn’t just a misspelling? It was in Arkansas afterall… 😉 \*\* " **Prolonged exposure to the son may prevent burning.** It should have been a capital “S”, as in Son. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ego\_Mk2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Ego\_Mk2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ego_Mk2)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/53 "2003-04-24T13:40:25Z")
Making fun of creationist bumper stickers makes the baby Jesus cry. Then he gets mad and smites your ass. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/54 "2003-04-24T13:51:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Yllaria \* > \*\*The one I always hated was the refrigerator magnet “God said it - I believe it - that ends it.” \*\* A little ditty I adapted for my sig, lo these many years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/55 "2003-04-24T15:53:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ratty \* > \*\*This is the completely correct explanation. However, I find that a lot of people interpret this as “evolved from” in the sense that there was a linear progression from amphibians to humans. For whatever reason, this seems to make evolution easier for some people to understand. > > It is also wrong, which is where I think the bumper sticker folks are getting this. They seem to think that evolution implies various species magically changing into other “higher” species throughout geologic time. Thus, the bumper sticker. So they’re not only getting evolutionary principles wrong, they’re also misinterpreting fairy tales, since fairy tales were never meant to be taken literally and are in fact just secular parables. \*\* The problem is, as seen in this thread, there are those who are not creationists who still get phylogenetics wrong. I think much of this has to do with the way evolution is taught (when it _is_ taught) - “old” ideas are still kicking around in ancient textbooks, and those are what people continue to learn. Thus, we still find, even among people who accept evolution, the idea that life has transformed through various stages like “goo” to “fish” to “amphibian” to “reptile” to “mammal” (to “monkey” to “man”). With birds somewhere in there, I guess. The whole “chain” winds up being decidely mammalio-centric. While the science and theories of evolution have advanced in the 150-odd years since Darwin, the _teaching_ of evolution hasn’t so much. Part of this may have to do with creationist agendas, but I think the majority has to do with the fact that historical sciences tend to beffudle many folks, and those who strive to teach evolution at less than a college level frequently muck it up. Simplifications, in this case, do little to further understanding of the underlying principles. That, and associated sciences (such as phylogenetics and systematics) are frequently ignored completely. The result is that many students frequently wind up with a partial view of evolution, and that partial view may not always make sense. I think it is this “unclear” version of evolution which many creationists choose as their strawman to attack with their pithy bumper stickers and church signs. They do not attack the actual theories because they have no idea what the real, current theories are. And if they _did_ know, they would realize just how silly those same bumper stickers and church signs are. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/56 "2003-04-24T16:12:25Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Doc Nickel** _ > > **Rex** : I take it you don’t read the webcomic [Sinfest](http://sinfest.net/), then? I do! I do! Yay, blasphemy! 🙂 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/57 "2003-04-24T17:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Yllaria \* > \*\* > I always thought that the little fish that said “Gefilte” was cute. I’ve never seen “Cthulu”. What’s it shaped like? > \*\* [Linky-poo](http://www.nyder.com/cthulhu/cthulhuchurch.html) Basically like a fish with a bunch of tentacles. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/58 "2003-04-24T18:17:15Z")
My favorite bumper sticker: > [@](#): > > **Honk if you’re Jesus!** You’re bound to get a few honks, followed by embarressed throat clearing. **Darwin’s Finch** : Back when I was teaching evolution to undergraduates, I found part of the problem was our seemingly natural inclination to view evolution as “improvement over time”, rather than simply “change over time,” with humans naturally as the predestined pinnacle (try telling that to a trillion cockroaches). Someone (sorry, can’t remember her name) even wrote her dissertation on “evolution as narrative.” I generally used the “shady bush” analogy, rather than the “linear change” analogy. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/59 "2003-04-24T18:30:22Z")
I was at work recently and because of the Easter holiday, got to listen to the ladies discussing the two known atheist/agnostics (they weren’t sure which) on the unit. They eventually agreed that the two under discussion had poor childhoods and uncaring mothers (that must be it!). They reiterated amongst themselves the importance of getting children to church while young to avoid the problem of non-belief. These ladies can be really scary sometimes. I’m in the closet, so to speak, these days because of past 'hauntings’by Xians. I just really don’t want to be bothered with them anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Oreo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c57346/32.png) [@Oreo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oreo)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644/60 "2003-04-24T18:37:06Z")
Sorry I’m a little late getting this in but I just saw it today on my way back from lunch. It strays away a little from the evolution theme, but I think it fits in well with the general concept of stupid bumper-stickers: > [@](#): > > I’m really glad Joseph and Mary weren’t pro-choice. :rolleyes: Huh? This is so wrong on so many levels I don’t where to start. (And I’m a pro-lifer!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-annoying-creationist-bumper-sticker/170644.md?page=4)