I was not mad at all. I respect fully their right to refuse to allow us to use their church because we don’t belong. I fully respect their beliefs, and would also have respected that they consider it a holy place. I didn’t want to play along, so I went elsewhere. No harm, no foul.
I did not intend to sound insensitive. I used the term “facility” because I used to attend a church where the members referred to the buildings as such. My comments were in light of the OP, churches getting funding to encourage marriage, but discouraging non-believers.
Personally, I refused the offer of counselling because I saw it as an effort at conversion, and I don’t want to waste their time in listening to the pitch when I have absolutely no intention of buying the product.
Again, I felt no outrage, or anger toward them at all, and fully respect their point of view.
Hokay. BTW, my wife and I were married in a church, and went through the counselling in order to do it. There was almost no mention of religion at all. It was standard-issue marital counselling. We did a standard personality test (my wife is a psych nurse, and has used the same one), got some advice that turned out to be remarkably insightful and helped us out a lot over the years.
Well, my own issue with using government funding for religious programming encouraging marriage (OK, one of my problems with it) is that in the religion of my own heritage (Judaism), many synangogues, at least around here, will not let you use their facilities for a wedding if you’re not a member of that synagogue, even if you believe 100% in the tenets of Judaism AND attend weekly services.
The catch? Anyone can attend services, but to become a member of the synagogue costs some serious dough. Last I checked, synagogue membership can run $1,000/year and up. And they wonder why younger people are leaving the faith in droves…Beth Emet the Free Synagogue, my ass!
That, and the fact that many rabbis won’t perform mixed-faith ceremonies, and it’s really a wonder there are any Jews under 40 left at all.
Oh, and I certainly have nothing against the institution of marriage per se, or even against religious ceremonies for those who want them, but I do have a BIG problem with Federal funding supporting religions that have distinct political opinions on other issues (abortion, anyone?).
Plus, isn’t it possible to have a secular ceremony and go on to have a marriage that fulfills the spirit and moral code of a religion? Or is there something about having your ceremmony performed by a judge which makes it impossible to have a good marriage and a moral life?
Some religious groups feel that you have to be married by a member of the clergy to be truly married in “the eyes of God.” A marriage performed before a judge is a secular, legal union, but not a true “marriage.”
I think more money should be spent on increasing the awareness of people that the only marrages that last are those consumated IN the church, after the ceremony.
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