# Another Doper headed to London! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 18, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839 "2005-04-18T03:08:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/21 "2005-04-18T19:53:31Z")
Thanks for spending my weak-against-the-pound-dollars, John. I believe Easyjet is now in my travel plans! 😃 It made sense when I realized I could fly back into Gatwick and stay there to get on my plane to Houston. That cuts a lot of time off and makes taking the train a non-issue. I am going to do a bus tour that let’s me see Edinburgh Castle. Any advice on Dining or Hotels? I may splurge on this hotel and stay somewhere Posh. It IS my 5th Anniversary after all! ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/22 "2005-04-18T20:03:31Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > Forget Bucks Palace. It’s a waste of time, being a boring big building you can only gawp from a distance at. And it’s bit of a hassle to get to, particularly if it’s raining. Isn’t this where I need to go to take a picture of the Guardsmen who can’t move? That is a must in my scrap book! [quote] That’s a helluva lot for one day! The Tower can easily be a day’s visit by itself, and the museum is _big_. I doubt I will do the Tower Bridge exhibit. But I really have to combine the other two if I want to see everything. Frommer’s says that they can be done in the same day, but you can’t spend but a few hours in the Museum. I just want to see the big ticket items anyway. > [@](#): > > NOOOO!!! Don’t. Please don’t. (And you’ve got too much for one day there again, so something will need to go…) I am going to try to use my wife’s demadn…err…request that we add Paris and Scotland to cut this one. Wish me luck. I can go to wax museums in Texas… > [@](#): > > As **guinnog** suggests, flying to Edinburgh is a far better option. It probably won’t cost more than the train, and gives you more time (the earliest you could arrive by train on the Saturday is nearly midday, whereas the first flight from Gatwick gets in at 8am). Shop around for flights - British Airways and BMI often match Easyjet fares, particularly at weekends. Great tip. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/23 "2005-04-18T20:08:03Z")
My coding was off above. Here is the corrected parts. > [@](#): > > That’s a helluva lot for one day! The Tower can easily be a day’s visit by itself, and the museum is _big_. I doubt I will do the Tower Bridge exhibit. But I really have to combine the other two if I want to see everything. Frommer’s says that they can be done in the same day, but you can’t spend but a few hours in the Museum. I just want to see the big ticket items anyway. > [@](#): > > I am going to try to use my wife’s demadn…err…request that we add Paris and Scotland to cut this one. Wish me luck. I can go to wax museums in Texas… ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/24 "2005-04-18T20:14:28Z")
One more question: If we are going to Paris, why would we use the Train? Plane tickets seem to be just as cheap! It’s even quicker. If we do, should we arrive at in Paris DeGaul or Orle (spelling)? ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/25 "2005-04-18T21:15:46Z")
> [@watsonwil](#): > > One more question: If we are going to Paris, why would we use the Train? Plane tickets seem to be just as cheap! It’s even quicker. If we do, should we arrive at in Paris DeGaul or Orle (spelling)? Flying ain’t quicker. You’ve got to get from the middle of London to whatever airport you choose (that’s a minimum of half an hour, and an additional expense), allow at least an hour for check-in & security, and hour’s flight, and the journey the other end. Plus, you’re more likely to get delayed if you’re flying. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/26 "2005-04-18T21:23:43Z")
If I take the train to Paris, where do I get on it in London. Where do I get off it in Paris? Are they centralized locations? I’m having trouble with Eurostar’s website. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/27 "2005-04-18T21:24:46Z")
> [@watsonwil](#): > > Isn’t this where I need to go to take a picture of the Guardsmen who can’t move? That is a must in my scrap book! Ah, for that, you want Horse Guards Parade - off Whitehall, near Downing St. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/28 "2005-04-18T21:27:17Z")
> [@watsonwil](#): > > If I take the train to Paris, where do I get on it in London. Where do I get off it in Paris? Are they centralized locations? I’m having trouble with Eurostar’s website. In London, you go from Waterloo, which is central. The Paris end is Gare de Nord, also conveniently located. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/29 "2005-04-18T21:40:54Z")
In my experience, it takes an hour to get in to the Louvre. Then the place is frikkin’ big once you’re there. It’s a tough thing to “squeeze in.” Important note when trying to get around in London – Liecester is pronounced “Lester.” More importantly, Lester is spelled “Leicester.” 😉 –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![amarone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/30 "2005-04-18T22:46:34Z")
> [@watsonwil](#): > > Isn’t this where I need to go to take a picture of the Guardsmen who can’t move? That is a must in my scrap book! They also have them in the Tower of London, which is on your itinerary, so I’d recommend you skip Buck Place. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/31 "2005-04-18T23:24:35Z")
Crossed off the list. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2005, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/32 "2005-04-18T23:28:54Z")
> [@Cliffy](#): > > In my experience, it takes an hour to get in to the Louvre. Then the place is frikkin’ big once you’re there. It’s a tough thing to “squeeze in.” > –Cliffy There is the one hour tour that hits the highpoints. Come on, Cliffy. You’ve met me. _Cultured_ I am not. ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/33 "2005-04-19T03:52:43Z")
I’m going too, my first trip abroad. Arrive May 8, leave May 15. I think I’m prepared, but I don’t know. My main worry right now is the possible crush of tourists for the 60th anniversary of VE Day. Is it going to be a huge nightmare? Is it possible to do Hampton Court Palace and Kew Gardens in the same day, or is that cramming too much in? ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/34 "2005-04-19T06:56:29Z")
> [@don Jaime](#): > > My main worry right now is the possible crush of tourists for the 60th anniversary of VE Day. Nope. London’s simply too big (and too busy) for an influx such as that to make any difference. All that might happen is that particular roads etc. are closed for special events. (Londoners have long been adept at finding their way around such obstacles - there’s an Eddie Izzard sketch about it: “A _bomb_? _Where_?! Regent Street? OK, if I take the District Line, I can go up by Paddington, so…yeah, that’s OK.” > [@](#): > > Is it possible to do Hampton Court Palace and Kew Gardens in the same day, or is that cramming too much in? Again, possible, but only just. Train from Waterloo via Surbiton to Hampton Court (it has its own station). No. R68 bus from Hampton Court to Richmond, which is near to the Lion Gate of Kew Gardens. Work your way through the gardens in ‘reverse’, towards the main entrance. Tube back home. ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/35 "2005-04-19T09:55:44Z")
> [@watsonwil](#): > > Great advice, but since I don’t get to Paris until 10:30, I am not sure I will be able to put the Eiffel Tower first. > > Also, my wife is now telling me she wants to work an overnight visit to Scotland into the works. I will probably have to cut out Stratford Upon Avon! ☹ My wife cares not for the bard and the appeal of hitting Scotland is pretty strong. If I ever make it back to Europe, I will probably do a tour of the mainland countries, or do a tour of just Italy. So this may be my only chance to see Scotland. So what to see? > > With that in mind, here is my tentative schedule: > > **MONDAY, MAY 9TH** > > FLY FROM IAH TO LONDON GATWICK > DEPART 3:50 PM HOUSTON TIME > > \*\*TUESDAY, MAY 10TH \*\* > > ARRIVE AT LONDON- GATWICK 6:55 AM > > CHECK-IN/DROP OFF BAGS AT HOTEL > > WESTMINSTER ABBY > 10 DOWNING STREET > BIG BEN > PARLIAMENT > BUCKINGHAM PALACE > > EVENING: BUS TOUR OF THE CITY? > > **WEDNESDAY, MAY 11TH** > > BRITISH MUSEUM > TOWER OF LONDON > TOWER BRIDGE > > **THURSDAY, MAY 12TH** > > PARIS TRIP > DEPART: LONDON @ 7:09 ARRIVE IN PARIS @ 10:59 > > \*BUS TOUR(ARC DE TRIUMPH) > \*EIFFEL TOWER > > - LOUVRE > - NOTRE DAME > > RETURN: LEAVE PARIS @ 10:19 ARRIVE IN LONDON @ 10:54 > > **FRIDAY, MAY 13TH** > > NATIONAL GALLERY > MADAM TUSSAUD’S WAXWORKS- Again, the wife! > CABINET WAR ROOMS > DICKENS HOUSE > > **SATURDAY, MAY 14TH** > > OPTION A- STRATFORD UPON AVON > > OPTION B- TRAIN TO SCOTLAND > SPEND THE NIGHT > NOTE: SCHEDULE LATER FLIGHT TO HOUSTON > > **SUNDAY, MAY 15TH** > > LEAVE LONDON- GATWICK @ NOON ON FLIGHT CO5 > ARRIVE IN HOUSTON 4:20 PM LOCAL TIME > > OPTION B-TRAIN FROM SCOTLAND TO LONDON > TAKE A LATER FLIGHT > > ADD-ONS as time allows: NAT. HIST. MUSEUM, TEMPLAR CHURCH, HARROD’S, STONEHENGE (NIGHT TOUR?), ABBEY ROAD, SHAKESPEARE GLOBE REPLICA, IMPERIAL WAR MUSEUM, SHERLOCK HOLMES MUSEUM. > I am having trouble finding a night tour of Stonehenge. Someone mentioned one in another thread. Again apols for any repetition: Parliament, Big Ben 10 Downing st: You can’t usually get in parliament (especially immediately after a general election.) In any case you will only see big ben from the outside. You also can’t see 10 downing st - there are heavy gates at the end of it to keep the public out. I would however recommend the walk from Paliament/Westminster abbey to trafalgar square - through whitehall and Horseguards Parade - just to look at the buildings etc. Madam Tussauds is total toss. Why would you come 4,000 miles to look at not very realistic dummies?It also has HUGE queues (of unspeakable french schoolkids) and will take forever. You shoud seriously consider giving this the elbow - London has at least 100 better things to do. Swap it for the Templar Church in Middle Temple (which is worth seeing in itself) - then have a pint in the Old Bank of England pub (which is the old bank of england - and worth a look). Beware though - the Temple Church has very odd opening hours and is often closed for church services (the cheek of it!). Also why are you going to the Sherlock Holmes museum? It’s bound to be rubbish if you think about it (and 221b Baker St is now the headqaurters of the Abbey National Bank). If you’re going to Stonehenge why not got to Salisbury as well? It’s nearby and has a fantastic Cathedral and is a pretty medieval cathedral city. ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/36 "2005-04-19T11:26:52Z")
**MONEY** The Brits have peculiar words for many things. Money is referred to as “goolies” in slang, so you should for instance say “I’d love to come to the pub but I haven’t got any goolies.” “Quid” is the modern word for what was once called a “shilling” - the equivalent of seventeen cents American. **MAKING FRIENDS** If you are fond of someone, you should tell him he is a “great tosser”- he will be touched. The English are a notoriously tactile, demonstrative people, and if you want to fit in you should hold hands with your acquaintances and tossers when you walk down the street. **CUSTOMS** Since their Labour government whole heartedly embraced full union with Europe the Brits have been attempting to adopt certain continental customs, such as the large midday meal followed by a two or three hour siesta, which they call a “wank.” As this is still a fairly new practice in Britain, it is not uncommon for people to oversleep (alarm clocks, alas, do not work there due to the magnetic pull from Greenwich). If you are late for supper, simply apologise and explain that you were having a wank - everyone will understand and forgive you. When the bill for your meal comes it will show a suggested amount. Pay whatever you think is fair, unless you plan to dine there again, in which case you should simply walk out; the restaurant host will understand that he should run a tab for you. **RELAXING** One of the most delightful ways to spend an afternoon in Oxford or Cambridge is gliding gently down the river in one of their flat-bottomed boats, which you propel using a long pole. This is known as “cottaging.” Many of the boats (called “yer-i-nals”) are privately owned by the colleges, but there are some places that rent them to the public by the hour. Just tell a professor or policeman that you are interested in doing some cottaging and would like to know where the public yerinals are. The poles must be treated with vegetable oil to protect them from the water, so it’s a good idea to buy a can of Mazola and have it on you when you ask directions to the yerinals. That way people will know you are an experienced cottager. **TRANSPORTATION** Public taxis are subsidized by the Her Majesty’s Government. A taxi ride in London costs two pounds, no matter how far you travel. If a taxi driver tries to overcharge you grab the nearest policeman (bobby) and have the driver disciplined. It is rarely necessary to take a taxi, though, since bus drivers are required to make detours at patrons’ requests. Just board any bus, pay your fare of thruppence (the heavy gold-colored coins are “pence”), and state your destination clearly to the driver, e.g.: “Please take me to the British Library.” A driver will frequently try to have a bit of harmless fun by pretending he doesn’t go to your requested destination. Ignore him, as he is only teasing the American tourist (little does he know you’re not so ignorant!). For those travelling on a shoestring budget, the London Tube may be the most economical way to get about, especially if you are a woman. Chivalry is alive and well in Britain, and ladies still travel for free on the Tube. Simply take some tokens from the baskets at the base of the escalators or on the platforms; you will find one near any of the state-sponsored Tube musicians. Once on the platform, though, beware! Approaching trains sometimes disturb the large Gappe bats that roost in the tunnels. The Gappes were smuggled into London in the early 19th century by French saboteurs and have proved impossible to exterminate. The announcement “Mind the Gappe!” is a signal that you should grab your hair and look towards the ceiling. Very few people have ever been killed by Gappes, though, and they are considered only a minor drawback to an otherwise excellent means of transportation. **AIRPORTS** One final note: for preferential treatment when you arrive at Heathrow airport, announce that you are a member of Shin Fane (an international Jewish peace organization-the “shin” stands for “shalom”). As savvy travellers know, this little white lie will assure you priority treatment as you make your way through customs. Safe travels and Bon Voyage! ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/37 "2005-04-19T11:39:14Z")
I would add to the above that it is traditional (and polite) to shake hands with the other passengers on a tube train carriage. Also it you knock a policeman’s hat off - you are allowed to keep it. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/38 "2005-04-19T14:02:57Z")
“ **American Tourist Hanged by Angry British Mob!** ” ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/39 "2005-04-19T14:47:24Z")
> [@owlstretchingtime](#): > > I would add to the above that it is traditional (and polite) to shake hands with the other passengers on a tube train carriage. …and bus drivers are always keen to spend some time explaining which route you need to take, and how the fare system works. ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839/40 "2005-04-19T15:35:04Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > …and bus drivers are always keen to spend some time explaining which route you need to take, and how the fare system works. Also, if it isn’t too far out of their way they will drop you off at your hotel. And further: We drive on the left here - this is also the side of the tube escalators you should stand on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-doper-headed-to-london/299839.md?page=3)