# Another etiquette thread: what's your take on handwritten thank-you notes?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-etiquette-thread-whats-your-take-on-handwritten-thank-you-notes/703897>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [November 6, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-etiquette-thread-whats-your-take-on-handwritten-thank-you-notes/703897 "2014-11-06T16:30:02Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-etiquette-thread-whats-your-take-on-handwritten-thank-you-notes/703897/61 "2014-11-10T17:26:29Z")

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> [@DrDeth](#):
>
> Get cheaper refreshments then.

So you want to reduce the quality of the party. Unless you’re buying fifty-cent bags of Doritos, you’re always going to reach a point where you’re overspending because of too many guests. There’s other issues to the size of a guest list than the cost of refreshments. There are space issues, for instance. More guests means more cleanup, for instance. More kids at a party–and twelve-year-olds are kids–means more potential for raucous behavior.

Twelve guests for a twelve-year-old seems quite adequate. It means restricting the guest list to the kid’s actual friends.

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**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 2014, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-etiquette-thread-whats-your-take-on-handwritten-thank-you-notes/703897/62 "2014-11-12T12:12:29Z")

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Seems a bit archaic nowadays .

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**Author:** ![MrAtoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MrAtoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAtoz)\
**Post date:** [November 12, 2014, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-etiquette-thread-whats-your-take-on-handwritten-thank-you-notes/703897/63 "2014-11-12T14:14:39Z")

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I do think, for better or worse, that written thank-you notes are considered rather antiquated these days, apart from very formal occasions like weddings and graduations. I don’t have kids, so I don’t have to decide issues like those described in the OP.

Having been brought up by somewhat traditional parents, I was taught to write thank-you notes as well. When I was young and first out on my own, I often did write thank-you notes after things like birthday parties, informal get-togethers, etc. While nobody was exactly upset to receive them, it was clear from people’s reactions that they hadn’t expected them, weren’t quite sure how to respond to them, and considered me a bit of an oddball for sending them.

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