# Another guy picks his crotch

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 13, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023 "2006-12-13T21:35:38Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 18\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2006, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/21 "2006-12-13T23:53:43Z")

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[QUOTE=ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness]  
Am I the only one who immediately had a Queen bass line pop into his head upon reading the thread title?  
[/QUOTE]

Most certainly not.

Weird Al should rewrite his parody.

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**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/22 "2006-12-14T00:04:05Z")

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[QUOTE=ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness]  
Am I the only one who immediately had a Queen bass line pop into his head upon reading the thread title?  
[/QUOTE]

Ba-da bamp-bamp-bamp, Ba-ba-ba-ba bamp…

Steve walks warily down the street,  
his johnson hanging low.  
Aint no choice but to move that thing  
before it starts to sting…

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**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/23 "2006-12-14T00:20:34Z")

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:: yawn ::

(Scratch scratch)

:: cough ::

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**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/24 "2006-12-14T00:33:41Z")

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Well, at least he didn’t do “the kick”. That’s where the guy lifts his leg slightly to one side and gives a couple of little kicks so that all the gear shifts back into place. It’s usually accompanied by a fart or two if need be.

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/25 "2006-12-14T00:39:34Z")

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He might have Jock Itch, for which creams, sprays & powders can help.

Leave him an anonymous note, recommending he speak to the Pharmacist about which OTC can help him.

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**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/26 "2006-12-14T00:53:24Z")

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[QUOTE=Clothahump]  
Well, at least he didn’t do “the kick”. That’s where the guy lifts his leg slightly to one side and gives a couple of little kicks so that all the gear shifts back into place. It’s usually accompanied by a fart or two if need be.  
[/QUOTE]

My great-grandfather (on my mom’s side) invented “The Kick” in 1907, and patented it. The royalties from its use helped my family through the  
Great Depression.

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**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/27 "2006-12-14T01:17:59Z")

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[QUOTE=Li’l Pluck]

Well, for one thing, I really like how it looks. The contrast of the silver metal against my skin (I’m a nice chocolate brown complexion) is kinda cool, I think. The other, and perhaps more obvious, reason has to do with the effect that such, uhhh, jewelry can have on the wearer. I especially like that part! Also, it can feel…oh, I don’t know, a little bit “naughty”. (I once had a guy say to me, “Oh, you wear a yarmulke \*\*and \*\* a cock ring?!”)

And, to be honest, it’s not an everyday accessory for me. Whether or not I wear it depends mostly on how I’m feeling on that particular day, in addition to how accurately I can guage just how cooperative the damn thing is going to be in terms of not forcing me to make adjustments throughout the day. It’s a tricky science, and I haven’t found a sure-fire answer, so it very often remains a hit-or-miss proposition for me.

I hope this helps.  
[/QUOTE]

Okay, gotcha… my SO used to do something similar when he wanted to feel naughty all day–he’d ask me to put a nice bright red lipstick kiss on the end of his pecker, said it gave him a half to 3/4 stiffie all day long but made it kinda tough to pee since the sight would get him all riled up. Guess he used a stall on those days!

Me, I like going commando in a skirt–nothing Britney, mind you, just my own little private breezeway…

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**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/28 "2006-12-14T02:53:37Z")

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Guys, if your stuff sits so uncomfortably in your britches, how did trousers become standard dress for men? How come you’re not all wearing kilts or togas?

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**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/29 "2006-12-14T02:55:10Z")

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Or how did boxers become so popular?

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**Author:** ![Frosted\_Glass](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frosted_glass/32/3926_2.png) [@Frosted\_Glass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frosted_Glass)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/30 "2006-12-14T05:03:18Z")

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[QUOTE=hawksgirl]  
Or how did boxers become so popular?  
[/QUOTE]

Well, I can tell you when I started wearing boxers. It was the summer between elementary and middle school and I was in soccer camp as usual. We always scrimmaged at the end of the day and we would go shirts versus skins. The style of the skins team was to show the top band of the boxers (not a lot because this is soccer not basketball and the shorts are actually more comfortable at mid thigh). I started wearing boxer shorts during this summer. The only time I considered going back to tighty whities was during 9th grade track when I was learning the high hurdles. You don’t want anything unrestricted when you are trying to run full speed over a rigid fiberglass bar. Still, guys always talk about how tighty whities make you sterile so I decided that for track, restriction was good but for everyday life I am all about the boxers or the ideal boxer briefs. They provide the space of boxers with the comforting restriction of briefs. Besides, most girls I have encountered like boxers and love boxer briefs.

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**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/31 "2006-12-14T05:21:37Z")

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[QUOTE=Batsinma Belfry]  
I just recently got my son out of the habit of adjusting himself in public, (he did it alot). While Christmas shopping lastweek, I caught him doing the alternative. He spread his knees apart, then did kind of a squat while doing a bump and grind thing. :o  
Just be thankful your coworker doesn’t do THAT.  
[/QUOTE]

It’s still early. Give him time. The guy is new there. Coworker might just be warming up to do that later.

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**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/32 "2006-12-14T05:22:00Z")

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[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore]  
Guys, if your stuff sits so uncomfortably in your britches, how did trousers become standard dress for men? How come you’re not all wearing kilts or togas?  
[/QUOTE]  
My coworkers all _strongly_ requested that I not wear a kilt. Of course that was back when I was running cable on and under raised floors - lot of bending over, you see…

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**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/33 "2006-12-14T05:31:18Z")

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[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist]  
My coworkers all _strongly_ requested that I not wear a kilt. Of course that was back when I was running cable on and under raised floors - lot of bending over, you see…  
[/QUOTE]

Well, at least you would have been…open…instead of going the sneaky “plumber’s butt” route.

(Yes, there was also a guy in one of my classes who had severe “plumber’s butt.” I suspect he was aware of it, and thought it made him look cool.)

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**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/34 "2006-12-14T06:21:37Z")

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You also have to remeber that things are moving around in there based on temperature and mood. And sometimes a pube gets trapped in some skin or clothes, and then the skin the other end of the hair is attached to starts to move and pull it. It’s enough discomfort to require immediate attention.

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**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/35 "2006-12-14T09:27:41Z")

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[QUOTE=Antinor01]  
Oh, so you wear a seperator too. Now quit making me have pervy thoughts at work! ::mutter::  
[/QUOTE]

Uh-uh, no separator, as I’m not sure that I could pull \*that \* off all day long. Now that I think about it, though, it does seem kind of tempting, and I \*haven’t \* bought myself a Channukah gift yet…

In my current job, I’m usually the only guy among a bunch of women, so I don’t tend to have pervy thoughts at work these days. I actually kinda miss having pervy thoughts on company time. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/36 "2006-12-14T10:13:00Z")

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[QUOTE=NJ\_Kef]  
Word is bond.

TMI? Not at all. So, how _you_ doin’? 🆒  
[/QUOTE]

I’m fine, thank you very much. How \*you \* doin’, uhhh, Daddy? 😉

And what, no linky to the obligatory pic? 😃

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**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/37 "2006-12-14T10:27:37Z")

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[QUOTE=SmartAleq]  
Okay, gotcha… my SO used to do something similar when he wanted to feel naughty all day–he’d ask me to put a nice bright red lipstick kiss on the end of his pecker, said it gave him a half to 3/4 stiffie all day long but made it kinda tough to pee since the sight would get him all riled up. Guess he used a stall on those days!

Me, I like going commando in a skirt–nothing Britney, mind you, just my own little private breezeway…  
[/QUOTE]

Y’know what? I actually think that there’s something sweet about that! 🙂

Kudos for going commando, 'cause I couldn’t do that if I were venturing more than five feet from my apartment. I’d just be overwhelmed by an irrational fear that my pants would become ripped in some critical area while I was out in public, and I don’t want to find myself having any “I swear, officer, I \*wasn’t \* exposing myself” conversations. (Says the guy who’s regularly exposed himself to close–and not so close–friends (upon request, of course), and who wouldn’t necessarily object to doing the same at the request of reciprocal-minded strangers. Good thing that Mama’s not a Doper, huh?)

And stalls at work? Mmm-mmm, good!

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**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-guy-picks-his-crotch/384023/38 "2006-12-14T14:59:28Z")

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“The Kick”? Squat and bump and grind??

I guess I should be feeling grateful.

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