# Another make-out Q: Do guys really push down on girls' heads to coax a blow job? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 15, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277 "2004-07-15T16:40:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/41 "2004-07-16T21:04:20Z")
Gosh, I’ve never done that. A guy who knows what he’s doing can get the ladies to WANT to go down on him. If you’ve got the charm and the smooveness they’ll be tearing your pants off to get at you. Pushing a woman down seems just a little too 70’s-porno-movie for my taste. ---
**Author:** ![arachnidlove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@arachnidlove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/arachnidlove)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/42 "2004-07-16T22:30:29Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Yessiree Bob, they sure do. > > They also nudge your hand toward their nether regions when you’re laying on their chest. Holy crap. My boyfriend does that whenever we’re cuddling. He’s done the head pushing thing too. I usually just get up and tell him something very un-sexy like " I have cramps", or “I have to go take a dump”. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/43 "2004-07-16T22:55:37Z")
> [@Bongmaster](#): > > A little armchair psychology here…I think guys do that kind of thing because they want the woman to get down there without any prompting. Men want the woman to want to do it without having to ask. But as the women folk have made so clear, the nudge is not appreciated. Er… yes? So if the woman wanted to do it without any prompting, she’d **do** it without any prompting. And the prompting is, in general, not appreciated. I wouldn’t want a man to go down on me unless he wanted to, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to go down on him unless I want to, or he asks. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/44 "2004-07-17T05:37:23Z")
I’m shocked. Why would a woman kiss a guy who would do that? That’s nuts. There is really only one thing that we all agree on in this wacky universe and that’s that guys want their dicks sucked. So there is NEVER any instance where a man needs to indicate that to me in any way, directly or indirectly. Nobody needs to kiss a man who’s that stupid. I hate Sex and the City. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2004, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/45 "2004-07-17T05:57:02Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Gosh, I’ve never done that. A guy who knows what he’s doing can get the ladies to WANT to go down on him. If you’ve got the charm and the smooveness they’ll be tearing your pants off to get at you. Bingo. I only want girls to go down on me as foreplay, never as a finishing move, and even that’s rare. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to be smooth about it and get it on the rare occasions when I want it. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/46 "2004-07-18T04:33:33Z")
> [@Bongmaster](#): > > A little armchair psychology here…I think guys do that kind of thing because they want the woman to get down there without any prompting. Men want the woman to want to do it without having to ask. But as the women folk have made so clear, the nudge is not appreciated. Er…the books about body-language that say that some people don’t realize that people communicate at times without speaking are right? I can’t imagine how they could rationalize this as **not** prompting… ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/47 "2004-07-18T05:58:39Z")
I’ve done with some of the girls I’ve been with. But that’s only because I know they like being manhandled; Hair pulling, Pushed up against the wall, ect… But yeah, that would be aa bad move in any other case. ---
**Author:** ![observer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/47e85d/32.png) [@observer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/observer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/48 "2004-07-19T03:26:19Z")
Obviously coercion is always bad. My question is for women regarding voluntary behavior. There is an article in the August Playboy in which a female lobbyist compares donating money to politicians to giving oral sex. She says, “Women don’t like it. But we do it because we want the Mercedes.” Ok. Do women give BJs because they intrinsically enjoy the act, or as a strategy that encourages men to reciprocate, or as a way of avoiding intercourse, or for motives that are entirely outside the bedroom? In other words, if your husband/boyfriend told you that he never wanted oral sex from you again (with no change in other aspects of your relationship), would you feel a sense of relief, loss or nothing at all? ---
**Author:** ![Fiona\_Orange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7feea3/32.png) [@Fiona\_Orange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiona_Orange)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/49 "2004-07-19T04:13:01Z")
So, I’m an inexperienced male who longs for a blowjob. The last girl I made out with, I really really wanted one, but had no clue of how to suggest it short of “blowjob?” How romantic. Would a slight pulling on the shoulders/head in _that direction_ be a good hint? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/50 "2004-07-19T11:45:21Z")
> [@Fiona Orange](#): > > So, I’m an inexperienced male who longs for a blowjob. The last girl I made out with, I really really wanted one, but had no clue of how to suggest it short of “blowjob?” How romantic. > > Would a slight pulling on the shoulders/head in _that direction_ be a good hint? Fiona, If you went down on her and she didn’t reciprocate? Heh, not a woman worth having in my opinion. Thats assuming you went down on her. If you didn’t you need to start there. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/51 "2004-07-19T12:23:13Z")
> [@Fiona Orange](#): > > So, I’m an inexperienced male who longs for a blowjob. Maybe a change of name would help? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/52 "2004-07-19T12:24:16Z")
**Fiona** , you could try a classic 69 position. That way you don’t have to be so forward or so _expletive deleted_ rude as to shove. As for me, I don’t do it for the Mercedes! Holy crap, what do you think women are? Do you think we are all whores? Stop reading Playboy if it’s giving you that opinion of us! Jesus on milktoast! No, I do it because I like it, he likes it, and boy it’s fun to be all over each other during sex. ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/53 "2004-07-19T14:22:22Z")
> [@Live Better Electrically!](#): > > Sometimes, when pushing down on the head doesn’t work, you also have to pry open the jaws with your fingers. > > 😃 And remember to defang them a well 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/54 "2004-07-19T21:30:37Z")
How are these men not getting smacked? I feel damn lucky to have my boyfriend. He’s awesome. He knows that I’ll give him frequent bj’s, but only when I want to. He doesn’t have to push or coerce to get his lovin’. I thought it was normal to let sex progress in it’s own way. In our bed, sometimes the oral happens, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes he does me without me doing him, and sometimes it’s reversed. Sounds to me like some guys keep score. Uncool. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/55 "2004-07-19T23:05:17Z")
Holy hell…this would NOT end well with me. If it was an established relationship that enjoyed a little dominance/submission, go to it, enjoy, push away, enjoy. But for all the other relationships where this is NOT the established sexual roles, it’s just plain assholian. It’s more than rude, it’s…well, assholian. In my world, when hubby wants a BJ, he asks \. I have yet to refuse him. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/56 "2004-07-19T23:23:26Z")
What I want to know is, how many of you girls do the same thing? I’ve had my fair share of girls put their hands on the top of my head and push me down when they were ready for it. I’ve never been offended by it, in fact I think it’s rather cute :). Sure, it’s one of those things that happens when it happens, but sometimes, even you ladies get a little overanxious. I don’t think it’s completely fair to be so condemning when you’re likely to be a suspect of the same treatment. Personally, I’ve never conciously pushed a girls head down, but when someone is going down on me, I like to keep at least one hand on her head as a way of showing gratification (and moving her hair out of the way so I can get a better view). I never hold her head there, unless that’s the name of the game, but I know when I’m down there, I always appreciate a bit of head brushing or hair pulling to show appreciation. Eh, I guess to each their own. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/57 "2004-07-20T00:09:20Z")
Good gravy, El Elvis Rojo, I would _never_ do that for the same reason I mentioned in my post: it’s assholian. I’d think it’s a fair assumption that those of us posting how off-putting it is to be pushed would agree that they, in return, don’t push. If I want it, I request it. Geez, how tough is that? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/58 "2004-07-20T01:12:39Z")
I’m not talking as comical as that scene from _Sex and the City_\*, but a little push in the right direction was never taken as a bad sign by me. And how is that gentle nudge while I’m kissing her neck (or vice versa) any more rude or crude than requesting it? Again, I can see where using a forceful push is uncalled for, but where’s the harm in a little guidance, eh? (again, speaking as the doee, not the doer). ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277/59 "2004-07-20T23:46:07Z")
I initiate sex 80% of the time in my relationship, usually by offering a blowjob as a precursor to more energetic adventures. (I’m a LOT more sexually driven than Ardred is). I’ve never pushed his head and he’s never pushed mine. We have talked about it, and this is agreed between us. Only if we were in a previously agreed upon dom/sub situation would this happen. We have a joke between us about a guy who got constant blowjobs and shriveled up into a little nothing of a man who constantly squeaks “blowjob now?” in a plaintive little voice. So, that’s how I ask for sex. (yes, by offering him a blowjob) Most of the time we talk and laugh our way through sex, trying new things, urging each other on, asking for favors. Sex without talking is just no fun. **Observer** , Playboy really prints crap like that? As if _anything_ can be applied to “all women”. Some women like to give oral, some don’t. Same with guys. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-make-out-q-do-guys-really-push-down-on-girls-heads-to-coax-a-blow-job/255277.md?page=2)