# Another myth shattered, this time about premarital sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 2008, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928 "2008-10-28T12:50:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/21 "2008-10-28T18:06:12Z")
My parents have never had sex. _Ever_. _wanders off to find brain bleach_ ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/22 "2008-10-28T18:29:24Z")
> [@](#): > > According to the analysis, by age 44, 99% of respondents had had sex, and 95% had done so before marriage. Even among those who abstained from sex until age 20 or older, 81% had had premarital sex by age 44. There are in fact people out tehre who really do abstain. I know a very religious guy whose fiancee wouldn’t even kiss him (they ended up breaking up before marrying, but not because of that!). The problem with this sort of thing is not all premarital sex is equal. I don’t think it would surprise anyone that, for example, most engaged couples aren’t going to wait for the “official piece of paper” saying they’re married to start boinking - that’s a different scenario than teenage girls sleeping with every guy on the football team from a public health standpoint. You’d have to separate those kinds of scenarios out for this to be really much of a statement on anything, in my view. I think most people who express concern about premarital sex really mean they are concerned with young people being promiscuous and irresponsible, not so much about making sure all single 44 year olds are virgins. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/23 "2008-10-28T18:43:40Z")
IMHO, it’s not so much that more people are having premarital sex, it’s that they’re _getting away_ with it (especially the women). Because of The Pill, abortion access and broken taboos, people are having premarital sex that doesn’t have to lead to pregnancy and a shotgun wedding. And having more sex partners before marriage because they have more freedom to wait until they find one who’s a good match in bed. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/24 "2008-10-28T18:53:15Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > IMHO, it’s not so much that more people are having premarital sex, it’s that they’re _getting away_ with it (especially the women). Because of The Pill, abortion access and broken taboos, people are having premarital sex that doesn’t have to lead to pregnancy and a shotgun wedding. And having more sex partners before marriage because they have more freedom to wait until they find one who’s a good match in bed. Ah yes, the old “kick the tires and take the car around the block before buying it” way of thinking. I find that mindset amusing. Particularly since before I swore off of hanky-panky before marriage that best sex I ever had was with a girl who was batshit insane and who would have been the worst possible match for me as a wife. I’ll take boring, routine sex with a terrific, supportive wife anyday. Not that I’d turn down both, mind you. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/25 "2008-10-28T18:57:16Z")
Coming from my liberal Catholic background, I’m glad. This is just one more piece of evidence that the Christian stance on premarital sex does not work, at least since modern condoms were invented. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/26 "2008-10-28T18:57:29Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Not my mom, she was a good Catholic girl. Is it just me, or does “good Catholic girl” always conjure up the image of a girl who won’t spread her legs, but gives great hand jobs and head? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/27 "2008-10-28T18:59:47Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Is it just me, or does “good Catholic girl” always conjure up the image of a girl who won’t spread her legs, but gives great hand jobs and head? Best username/post combo ever. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/28 "2008-10-28T19:03:45Z")
When I was a wee lad, I wondered why my dad would smile wistfully and my mom would blush a little when they talked about the time in 1952 (two years before they were married, and shortly after they met) they got trapped by a bad thunderstorm in a car… Ah, humans and human nature. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/29 "2008-10-28T19:09:36Z")
my mom had her first child out of wedlock. Who my half-brother’s dad was has always been the BIG MYSTERY for me and my other sibs - mom never told ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/30 "2008-10-28T19:13:16Z")
My mom and dad got married in March of 1969. I was conceived either New Year’s Eve 1968 or New Year’s Day 1969 in the back seat of my dad’s Rambler after they’d left the New Year’s Eve party. Dad said he had two blowouts that night, one from Firestone, one from Trojan. ---
**Author:** ![Minnie\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Minnie\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minnie_Luna)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/31 "2008-10-28T19:49:02Z")
**Grandma and Sex #1** So, my grandmother had to have surgery to have her csytocele (fallen bladder) repaired. I happened to be visiting, so I told Gma I would go with her to the appointment. The doctor asks if she is married, because he can tighten things up “down there” if she wants. She tells him that you don’t stay married for 55 yrs to the same person without good sex, so by all means do it. I almost fell out of my chair. **Grandma and Sex #2** At my sister’s rehearsal dinner/BBQ, we are all sitting around eating and talking. Someone mentions that watermelon rind increases sexual potency in males, and she tells grandpa to eat more, it’s a busy weekend… ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/32 "2008-10-28T20:08:42Z")
Got a picture of grandma? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/33 "2008-10-28T20:55:18Z")
Why do so many people get squeamish at the thought of their parents having sex? I don’t mean picturing it or anything like that, but any mention at all gets a very odd reaction. One day when I was 17 or 18, my mother, some of my siblings, and I were talking and the subject of sex came up. I did the “la la la la” thing and she stopped me and said, “Sex is normal and fun. I enjoy it and I hope you will enjoy it, too.” So I went out and did exactly that. It was only later that she clarified that she used the future tense (“I hope you _will_ enjoy it”) purposefully - she wanted us to wait until we were married. Not one of the seven of us did. When I want to freak people out, I tell them that my mom gives good head. After they calm down, I explain that my dad made a sign - a 3-foot long sign he made on a vinyl cutter - that said, “I love your BJs”. He’s a romantic. (He didn’t hang the sign up. I saw it while I was stealing a rubber from his stash.) ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/34 "2008-10-28T22:03:36Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > Why do so many people get squeamish at the thought of their parents having sex? I don’t mean picturing it or anything like that, but any mention at all gets a very odd reaction. There are 2 groups of people that never have sex. Your kids and your parents. The problem comes from the picturing it. I tend to picture lots of stuff. So if you mention my parents have sex, I picture my 70yr old, over-weight, balding father, naked. There is NO good that comes of picturing that. ---
**Author:** ![freekalette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/50afbb/32.png) [@freekalette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freekalette)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/35 "2008-10-28T23:08:18Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > There are 2 groups of people that never have sex. Your kids and your parents. You missed one: siblings-in-law. I don’t care if my husband’s brother is old enough to drink and has had the same girlfriend for 5 years, he does _not_ get nekkid!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/36 "2008-10-28T23:21:07Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > no one wants to believe they were conceived under the words “Bark like a dog, Bitch!” Not true. Knowing my mother, that would be the perfect legend for her to have performed her clinical-like (her description) sexual encounters under. Regarding the OP; she swore she didn’t have sex before marriage, but considering she lies about everything else, I don’t believe. As for being squicked out about one’s parents (or anyone for that matter) engaging in a little hanky panky; I’ve just always hoped that I was able to indulge once I was in their situation. Either as a parent, elderly person, sister or whatever, and it behooved me to return the courteousy of lack of squeamishness. One doesn’t actually have to picture anything, nor stick fingers in ears. Just think of it as an intellectual exercise if nothing else. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/37 "2008-10-28T23:30:42Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Is it just me, or does “good Catholic girl” always conjure up the image of a girl who won’t spread her legs, but gives great hand jobs and head? Dude! That’s my mother you’re talking about! ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2008, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/38 "2008-10-28T23:58:52Z")
I was born in 1940 and I have a sister who was born in 1933 so my mother did it. Twice. But that’s all and don’t tell me any different. Actually, my father was a self righteous, holier than thou jerk who never hesitated to consign women who gave birth to children born out of wedlock to the flames of hell. If he considered a woman’s clothes to be provocative (and he was the only one capable of judging) then she was an outright whore and if any woman should happen to be raped, she was not only asking for it, she probably deserved it. And if he observed a white woman smiling with or at a black man, I am unable to even begin to share the invective he could summon. So, knowing my father, I wouldn’t be too surprised to learn that my mother had a miserable sex life. When I read anything like this thread, I often find myself hoping that she had a long stream of skilled extramarital lovers; if anyone ever deserved a little love and fun in their lives, she did. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/39 "2008-10-29T00:00:01Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Dude! That’s my mother you’re talking about! Man, I dated your mother. And her sister, probably. ---
**Author:** ![lynxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e99b99/32.png) [@lynxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynxie)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2008, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928/40 "2008-10-29T01:46:23Z")
Pffft. My Grandmother was pregnant when she got married in '33. My uncle’s mom was an “early child” in 1911. This is not a new phenomenon. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-myth-shattered-this-time-about-premarital-sex/469928.md?page=3)