# Another Offensive Commercial **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 3, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795 "2001-08-03T16:29:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/1 "2001-08-03T16:29:05Z")
… or I’m Getting Too Sensitive For My Own Good. Actually this one isn’t offensive in the “How can they be so ignorant” kind of way, more in the Rolling Eyes sort of way. Anyway, there is this comely young woman sitting at a computer, cyber-chatting with a pleasant looking young man, at a different location. They are chitchatting. It is implied that they are sizing each other up, that they have an initial interest in each other and that they are both hoping to form a relationship of some sort (big implication I know, but bear with me). She asks him, “Do you have Satellite or Digital Cable?” His reply, with a smug air, “Oh, I have the dish.” She goes through the Digital Cable Company’s[sup]TM[/sup] litany of why satellite dishes suck, ending with, “You need to quit wasting my time.” And then she disconnects. I say to the guy, count your lucky stars! If this dip-shit is only interested in you because you get ESPN2 _and_ all your local channels, than you dodged a bullet. Ok, like I say, not blood-curdling offensive, but I get friggin’ irked when possessions and status symbols are judged to be the most important aspects of people. I get the same seething in my brain when I see Diamond commercials. “Design the perfect ring. You’ll have a lifetime to design the perfect Husband.” How much do I want to track down the marketing wonk who came up with that one and rip his sphincter up around his throat like a turtle neck? ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/2 "2001-08-03T16:44:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > [B > “Design the perfect ring. You’ll have a lifetime to design the perfect Husband.” > > How much do I want to track down the marketing wonk who came up with that one and rip his sphincter up around his throat like a turtle neck? \*\* T his is an _actual_ marketing gimmick? _vomits_ Sometimes people scare me. ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/3 "2001-08-03T17:10:40Z")
Oh, my friends have taken to cringing when that Debeers diamond commercial comes on. …I think that I’ve scarred them. ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/4 "2001-08-03T18:56:52Z")
Reminds me of that old Emo Phillips routine: 🙂 Emo: Do you want to come back to my place? Girl: Do you have cable? Emo: I’m sure the ropes will be plenty strong enough. ---
**Author:** ![Greyson3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/258eb7/32.png) [@Greyson3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greyson3)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/5 "2001-08-03T19:18:36Z")
Those diamond commercials are terrible. Another one I really hate is a Rogaine ad or something like that. The husband asks his wife “If I go bald, will you still feel the same way?” and the wife says “Probably… about somebody else.” There may be reasons to marry apart from love, but I don’t think “he has nice hair” is real high on the list. ---
**Author:** ![Acco40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@Acco40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acco40)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/6 "2001-08-03T19:21:31Z")
> [@](#): > > “Design the perfect ring. You’ll have a lifetime to design the perfect Husband.” I’ve seen this commercial. Tounge-in-cheek humor, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/7 "2001-08-03T19:35:17Z")
If I say, “Beat your children - they’ll thank you for it later,” with tongue firmly planted in cheek, is it not still offensive? I get all riled up over the diamond industry in the first place, so don’t get me going. It’s a fucking rock!! ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/8 "2001-08-03T20:03:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Greyson3 \* > \*\*Those diamond commercials are terrible. Another one I really hate is a Rogaine ad or something like that. The husband asks his wife “If I go bald, will you still feel the same way?” and the wife says “Probably… about somebody else.” There may be reasons to marry apart from love, but I don’t think “he has nice hair” is real high on the list. \*\* As much as I hate this commmercial, it should be noted that it’s the _husband_ who says that line about “somebody else.” ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/9 "2001-08-03T20:06:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > I get all riled up over the diamond industry in the first place, so don’t get me going. It’s a fucking rock!! You mean…diamonds aren’t a way to make two month’s salary last forever? jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/10 "2001-08-03T20:06:30Z")
There’s another commercial like this one: A woman is lookin’ for love online, with little results. Then her webcam falls over and points at her Lexus. Suddenly she’s flooded with messages from suitors. More dumb than offensive, but in the same category at the commercial in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/11 "2001-08-03T20:15:52Z")
How about the Olive Garden one in which the smug teenager is complaining about his mom teaching his siter to cook, when all he wants is to go to Olive Garden. “That way,” he says, “I don’t have to pretend I like it.” Then maybe you should cook for yourself instead of having the women of your family wait on you, eh, you arrogant schmuck? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/12 "2001-08-03T20:22:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Slacker \* > \*\*There’s another commercial like this one: > > A woman is lookin’ for love online, with little results. Then her webcam falls over and points at her Lexus. Suddenly she’s flooded with messages from suitors. > > More dumb than offensive, but in the same category at the commercial in the OP. \*\* Bull’s Ear, Cat-nip!! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/13 "2001-08-03T20:28:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\* > Bull’s Ear, Cat-nip!! \*\* In case that reference doesn’t go over as well as I would hope – it’s from an old Merry Melodies cartoon. I don’t remember which one, but I always used to whip it out meaning - “You hit the nail right on the head.” ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/14 "2001-08-03T20:36:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JeffB \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Greyson3 \* > > \*\*Those diamond commercials are terrible. Another one I really hate is a Rogaine ad or something like that. The husband asks his wife “If I go bald, will you still feel the same way?” and the wife says “Probably… about somebody else.” There may be reasons to marry apart from love, but I don’t think “he has nice hair” is real high on the list. \*\* > > As much as I hate this commmercial, it should be noted that it’s the _husband_ who says that line about “somebody else.” \*\* True, but it is the wife who points out “You don’t have to lose your hair,” which makes me suspect that she’s thinking the “somebody else” line. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/15 "2001-08-03T21:27:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Acco40 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > “Design the perfect ring. You’ll have a lifetime to design the perfect Husband.” > > I’ve seen this commercial. Tounge-in-cheek humor, I think. \*\* Ever since Acco40 achieved the sense of superiority that comes when you achieve inner peace, he’s not offended by anything. I hate the Mitsubishi commercial where the couple is on a date and the girl walks to the wrong car and admires herself in the reflection, looking around like an airhead for her date who is at a different car. The advertisers are trying to paint the guy as a loser for not having a Mitsubishi. They succeed only in painting the girl as an idiot. And the people in the Feria haircolor ads have scary red and purple clown hair. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/16 "2001-08-03T21:59:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > \*\*And the people in the Feria haircolor ads have scary red and purple clown hair. \*\* There’s this one guy on the Feria boxes in stores, and boy, I just feel sorry for him. He looks totally petrified! He has this little boy expression of nervous terror on his face, like, “They kidnapped me and dyed my hair–help me please.” And the thing is, he’s actually pretty damn good-looking, but that expression! I just feel so sorry for him. ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/17 "2001-08-03T22:08:27Z")
How about the commercial of the guy getting himself all dressed, changing his clothes repeatedly, asking his dog’s opinion of his wardrobe, simply to go to his doctor’s office and ask for his free sample of Viagra[sup]TM[/sup]? Are we to assume that the doctor is a female he’s got a yen for, or that he’s going straight from the doctor’s office out on a hot date? ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/18 "2001-08-03T23:01:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Slacker \* > > \*\*There’s another commercial like this one: > > > > A woman is lookin’ for love online, with little results. Then her webcam falls over and points at her Lexus. Suddenly she’s flooded with messages from suitors. > > > > More dumb than offensive, but in the same category at the commercial in the OP. \*\* > > Bull’s Ear, Cat-nip!! \*\* Lol thanks - I wouldn’t have got that one in a million years… ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/19 "2001-08-03T23:25:09Z")
I always hated those “Where’s the Beef?” commercials because it implied old women were only looking for men with a large penis. I mean really, how superficial can you get? ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795/20 "2001-08-04T00:21:19Z")
There are ads here for a light orange juice brand at bus stops and such that basically just say, outright: “Drink _brand_ and your husband won’t leave you”. I can’t recall the line exactly (it’s in portuguese anyway) but it is that blunt. I just thought “what the fuck?!” They have others almost as dumb. They make TV ads in which they characterize 2 famous persons as really fat and say “Just imagine if _person_ didn’t drink _brand_!” [ohhh how scary!] Maybe they would deprive us of their insipid appearences on TV. It’s surreal. Fortunately I’m a man or I would be rushing to the supermarket. Morons. I hate them with a passion… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-offensive-commercial/74795.md?page=2)