# Another one (anti-gay pastor arrested for public masturbation) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 6, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703 "2011-03-06T20:56:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mozchron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mozchron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mozchron)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/1 "2011-03-06T20:56:19Z")
Didn’t see a thread for this one yet. Figured I’d post it in the pit and save someone the trouble of moving it later. [He was arrested for masturbating in public in a playground](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/01/grant-storms-arrested-masturbating_n_830000.html). Of course, he says he wasn’t masturbating. He was just urinating in a bottle. Is that better? Marginally, I guess. On edit - he was actually in a van next to the playground. Somehow that makes it even creepier to me… ---
**Author:** ![Heyoka13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Heyoka13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heyoka13)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/2 "2011-03-06T21:07:32Z")
He was just establishing his credentials as a pro-family, God fearing conservative. What’s wrong with that? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/3 "2011-03-06T21:14:16Z")
Is there a site somewhere, other than Dan Savage’s blog, where someone’s collected all the names and rap sheets of these closeted gay homophobes? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/4 "2011-03-06T21:16:57Z")
He admits he had his hand in his pants, but says he was peeing in a bottle. _Inside his pants_ he was peeing in a bottle? I’m pretty sure that’s not an efficient way to do that. If he’s telling the truth, though, I’m sure he has the trucker bomb as evidence. Also - hard to believe he couldn’t find a better spot than a playground. Has he explained why he was even at a playground in the first place? ---
**Author:** ![TravisFromOR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cc9497/32.png) [@TravisFromOR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TravisFromOR)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/5 "2011-03-06T21:23:48Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Also - hard to believe he couldn’t find a better spot than a playground. Has he explained why he was even at a playground in the first place? Probably passing out cute little comics to the kiddies. God, how I hate Chick tracts… ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/6 "2011-03-06T21:25:06Z")
In fairness he was in a park, _near the vicinity_ of the playground. It’s not like he was at a school or something. Playgrounds in public parks are public property; I can go swing on the swings if I like. That said…eww. THAT said…HA HA! ---
**Author:** ![mozchron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mozchron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mozchron)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/7 "2011-03-06T21:25:53Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Also - hard to believe he couldn’t find a better spot than a playground. Has he explained why he was even at a playground in the first place? Don’t know about you, but when I have the urge to pee in a bottle, I _ALWAYS_ go down to my local playground to do it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/8 "2011-03-06T21:25:57Z")
He’s anti-gay, not anti-masturbating-while-watching-kids-at-a-playground. He better not claim pornography made him do it. Got kiddie porn? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/9 "2011-03-06T21:27:55Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > He’s anti-gay, not anti-masturbating-while-watching-kids-at-a-playground. > > He better not claim pornography made him do it. Got kiddie porn? :eek: Not kiddie porn but he did blame porn. From the linked article. > [@](#): > > The pastor appeared less willing to discuss the matter at a press conference on Tuesday, during which he blamed “pornography” for the incident ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/10 "2011-03-06T21:32:26Z")
He’s saying pornography made him pee in a bottle? ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/11 "2011-03-06T21:37:36Z")
If porn made him do it, how does he explain lying about peeing in a bottle when questioned? Was it Satan? Blaming Satan is usually a good ploy here. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/12 "2011-03-06T21:40:05Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Not kiddie porn but he did blame porn. > From the linked article. Yeah, that’s what I was referring to. If he was indeed beating off while watching little kids, then kiddie porn is a good possibility. But I will say that the article really doesn’t give us enough info to know that he’s really a pedophile. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/13 "2011-03-06T21:45:15Z")
Well, one thing I’m sure we can all agree on: Lying about peeing in a bottle while wanking near a playground certainly goes against the public interest. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/14 "2011-03-06T22:04:24Z")
Yeah, they were only little girls playing there. I don’t see what the big deal is. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/15 "2011-03-06T22:16:16Z")
So it’s another case of if the van’s-a-rockin’, don’t come a’knockin’? ---
**Author:** ![Rex\_Goliath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bcef8e/32.png) [@Rex\_Goliath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rex_Goliath)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/16 "2011-03-06T22:45:57Z")
What a silly lie. Where’s the bottle of pee, then? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/17 "2011-03-06T23:01:56Z")
> [@Rex\_Goliath](#): > > What a silly lie. Where’s the bottle of pee, then? If he was telling the truth, he would have slung the contents of that bottle under his vehicle as he partially opened the driver door. Yes, more than once I’ve peed into a can while sitting in my vehicle. At my age… ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/18 "2011-03-06T23:04:54Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Also - hard to believe he couldn’t find a better spot than a playground. Has he explained why he was even at a playground in the first place? Reminds me of the high school principal here who got arrested for taking an “upskirt” photo of a middle school girl on a bus. His defense was that he didn’t mean to take a photo, the bus hit a bump. Unanswered, of course, was why his hand was in a position to take such a photo and the cellphone was in camera mode. Please don’t ask what the outcome of the arrest was. You really don’t want to know. Disappointment is a bad way to start the week. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/19 "2011-03-06T23:10:50Z")
I’m not seeing how this guy is a closeted gay guy. It looks to me like he’s a pedophile. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/20 "2011-03-06T23:11:12Z")
Now now, let’s give him a little bit of slack here. I bet the next explanation will be that he didn’t really know what masturbation actually was. That he was taught that if he rubbed his penis really really strongly, he would pee white. That’s all he was doing. Not that icky masturbation thing, whatever that is, which is totally against God’s Will, perverted and nasty. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703.md?page=2)