# Another one (anti-gay pastor arrested for public masturbation) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 6, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703 "2011-03-06T20:56:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/21 "2011-03-06T23:12:39Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > He’s saying pornography made him pee in a bottle? You never heard of golden shower porn? Yeah, me neither. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/22 "2011-03-06T23:27:34Z")
> [@TravisFromOR](#): > > God, how I hate Chick tracts… Hey, if it wasn’t for the Dope, they wouldn’t be on my regular humour reading list! (I think Christians with a brain, like me, probably enjoy them the most for their lol-ness.) And I’m with the others that the “anti-gay” isn’t really needed\*. Closeted homosexual != pedophile \*What _is_ needed is his immediate dismissal from the church. Any further judging from the inevitable busy-bodies in the church would be unscriptural, but icing on the cake. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mozchron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mozchron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mozchron)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/23 "2011-03-06T23:30:02Z")
Didn’t meant to suggest in the OP that he was a closeted gay. Rather that he was a (alleged) hypocritical sex fiend 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/24 "2011-03-07T01:13:53Z")
But this isn’t the vocally homophobic closet case cliché. This is the pedophile clergyman cliché. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/25 "2011-03-07T01:28:05Z")
> [@mozchron](#): > > Don’t know about you, but when I have the urge to pee in a bottle, I _ALWAYS_ go down to my local playground to do it. If I could save pee in a bottle, The first thing that I’d like to do… ---
**Author:** ![bugme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@bugme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bugme)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/26 "2011-03-07T02:26:10Z")
Why do liberals get so upset when people they don’t like do this, but when people who they support do it (homosexuals, feminists, et cetera), they all it “liberation” and “expressing themselves”? Hippo Critz. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/27 "2011-03-07T02:40:58Z")
> [@bugme](#): > > Why do liberals get so upset when people they don’t like do this, but when people who they support do it (homosexuals, feminists, et cetera), they all it “liberation” and “expressing themselves”? > > Hippo Critz. HahaHahAHaahaeHEheHehehe…hehe…ho? You were serious there? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/28 "2011-03-07T02:46:06Z")
> [@bugme](#): > > Why do liberals get so upset when people they don’t like do this, but when people who they support do it (homosexuals, feminists, et cetera), they all it “liberation” and “expressing themselves”? > > Hippo Critz. Bullshit. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/29 "2011-03-07T02:47:28Z")
So he was just “liberating” himself? Or would “expressing himself” (in a bottle, no less) be better? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/30 "2011-03-07T03:12:45Z")
> [@bugme](#): > > Why do liberals get so upset when people they don’t like do this, but when people who they support do it (homosexuals, feminists, et cetera), they all it “liberation” and “expressing themselves”? > > Hippo Critz. I think you will be hard-pressed to find any political viewpoint that thinks pedophilia is awesome, no matter who does it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/31 "2011-03-07T03:38:34Z")
> [@bugme](#): > > Why do liberals get so upset when people they don’t like do this, but when people who they support do it (homosexuals, feminists, et cetera), they all it “liberation” and “expressing themselves”? > > Hippo Critz. What the fuck are you talking about? Can you give an example of homosexuals and feminists jerking off while watching kids at a playground? ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/32 "2011-03-07T04:32:03Z")
> [@Rex\_Goliath](#): > > What a silly lie. Where’s the bottle of pee, then? Silly lie indeed. Why didn’t he go to the public restroom within sight of where he was parked? ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/33 "2011-03-07T04:34:20Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > You never heard of golden shower porn? Yeah, me neither. You’ve been rather sheltered then. It certainly exists. ---
**Author:** ![Ibn\_Warraq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19b73/32.png) [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/34 "2011-03-07T04:45:36Z")
This story is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/35 "2011-03-07T06:44:17Z")
Maybe it was the Stadium Buddy? 😛 > [@bugme](#): > > Why do liberals get so upset when people they don’t like do this, but when people who they support do it (homosexuals, feminists, et cetera), they all it “liberation” and “expressing themselves”? > > Hippo Critz. Who is this buttmunch, and why haven’t I seen him before? If you do a search on his name, you’ll see he’s really gotten active with this crap lately. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/36 "2011-03-07T06:55:53Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > You’ve been rather sheltered then. It certainly exists. I’m rather fond of Whoosh Porn, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/37 "2011-03-07T06:59:06Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Maybe it was the Stadium Buddy? 😛 > > Who is this buttmunch, and why haven’t I seen him before? If you do a search on his name, you’ll see he’s really gotten active with this crap lately. There have been some interesting posters about lately- **Gordon69** joined in about 2005, and didn’t post a thing until a recent flurry of anti-union posts. And now this guy. Post on innocuous topics for a while, and then all of a sudden it’s like he’s had an entire personality change. Or someone is hijacking accounts around here. Smells fishy to me. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/38 "2011-03-07T10:14:43Z")
Who said he was beating off to kiddies and not all those MILFs? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/39 "2011-03-07T12:05:16Z")
Let’s say he did have to pee. And that maybe the public toilet was too far away (or perhaps locked). Surely there was a cluster of trees somewhere where he could have peed in privacy, without the awkwardness of sticking a bottle in his pants. And why a bottle anyway? Anyone who has watched _Dumb and Dumber_ knows one bottle is never enough. (And wouldn’t the police actually look for a bottle? Did they find one?) If I were one of his parishioners, I would want him to resign if only because that lie is so horribly ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703/40 "2011-03-07T14:52:01Z")
“I didn’t do it! I didn’t do it! And if I did it I’m sorry but it wasn’t my fault! It was the fault of pornography, which of course I never look at, but it’s seeped into the public consciousness anyway!” Asswipe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-one-anti-gay-pastor-arrested-for-public-masturbation/573703.md?page=3)