# Another ornament to the teaching profession **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 6, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612 "2006-06-06T14:28:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/1 "2006-06-06T14:28:19Z")
Not that it’s the fault of the profession, naturally. [Here](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/5049478.stm) we go again. Teacher Elvira Fairhurst obligingly pleaded guilty on the opening day of the trial, having previously [denied](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4887282.stm) everything. Unattractively, this is another special-needs teacher taking advantage of her pupil; and (for those who think it matters) she’s hardly “the _hawt_ sexy teacher fulfilling every teenage boy’s fantasy”. I mean, I’d go a long way for a good shag but I personally wouldn’t touch this one on a bet, even without the underage-sex thing. Mr F. is standing by her and the whole family have rallied round in support ‘cos this is “so out of character”, donchaknow. It’s a funny old world. (Cites on the Internet for the school being special-needs and the pupil having behavioural problems are not to be found, apparently.) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/2 "2006-06-06T14:37:45Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > she’s hardly “the _hawt_ sexy teacher fulfilling every teenage boy’s fantasy”. Why must looks come into this? Why must you judge her more harshly because she’s not a babe, instead of on the merits of the abuse itself? Please try to ignore that irrefutable fact that she’s a skank with bulldog cheeks who’s been beaten halfway to hell with the ugly stick. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/3 "2006-06-06T14:38:54Z")
Oh, and… > [@Malacandra](#): > > Mr F. is standing by her \Mister F!\ ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/4 "2006-06-06T14:50:58Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Why must looks come into this? Why must you judge her more harshly because she’s not a babe, instead of on the merits of the abuse itself? > > Please try to ignore that irrefutable fact that she’s a skank with bulldog cheeks who’s been beaten halfway to hell with the ugly stick. > > _shudder_ I’m not judging her more harshly, it’s just that threads of this kind invariably draw someone saying how hot the teacher is and if only they’d had a teacher like her when they were a horny teenager and yadda yadda… :rolleyes: And yes, I’ll also ignore the fact that the ugly stick eventually burst into tears and begged for mercy. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/5 "2006-06-06T15:01:40Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > it’s just that threads of this kind invariably draw someone saying how hot the teacher is and if only they’d had a teacher like her when they were a horny teenager and yadda yadda… :rolleyes: Well, yeah. I mean, abuse of a minor is abuse of a minor. We must remind ourselves to ignore the fact that this particular teacher couldn’t pick up an ugly stick in an ugly stick whorehouse with the aid of several “Buy one ugly stick, get three ugly sticks free” coupons. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/6 "2006-06-06T15:02:26Z")
Sadly, if only she’d masterbated with the ugly stick and had left the boy alone… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/7 "2006-06-06T15:06:30Z")
> [@Count Blucher](#): > > Sadly, if only she’d masterbated with the ugly stick and had left the boy alone… I’m assuming it’s difficult for a woman to masturbate with a flacid and shrivelled ugly stick that found other plans at the last minute. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/8 "2006-06-06T15:08:20Z")
I suppose the plus point for 15 year old boys (or 14, as he was when this started) is that at that age they’re not too hard to get an erection out of - at least ISTR those happy, happy days ☹ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/9 "2006-06-06T15:19:47Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > I suppose the plus point for 15 year old boys (or 14, as he was when this started) is that at that age they’re not too hard to get an erection out of - at least ISTR those happy, happy days ☹ Well, damn, in those days I had the worst crushes on chalkboards and schoolbuses. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/10 "2006-06-06T15:33:14Z")
Yeah, but the bus told me it was washing its hair. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/11 "2006-06-06T15:36:33Z")
Ye gods, you guys are cracking me up over here. It’s hard to chortle and laugh through a PB&J sammich, don’t you know? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/12 "2006-06-06T15:45:45Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Ye gods, you guys are cracking me up over here. It’s hard to chortle and laugh through a PB&J sammich, don’t you know? Glad to be of (ahem) “service.” 😃 This part of the article twists my cortex: > [@](#): > > Fairhurst had sex with the boy, who cannot be named for legal reasons, between six and 10 times between January and May 2005. > > The court head that she also performed a sex act on him and touched him indecently during the same period. It’s one thing that she had sex with him. But she also performed a sex act on him? And touched him indecently? Say it ain’t so! If only she’d stopped at boner in uglycunt hardcore action. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/13 "2006-06-06T15:46:46Z")
She’s kind of hot. . .for a British woman. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/14 "2006-06-06T15:50:40Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > She’s kind of hot. . .for a British woman. \Mister F!\ ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/15 "2006-06-06T15:58:05Z")
> [@Count Blucher](#): > > Sadly, if only she’d masterbated with the ugly stick and had left the boy alone… Can’t we consider the feelings of the ugly stick? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/16 "2006-06-06T16:08:17Z")
Upon actually looking at her, it strikes me that boys really are silly. And indeed will hump anything. And have no standards. _shudders_ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/17 "2006-06-06T16:18:56Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Upon actually looking at her, it strikes me that boys really are silly. And indeed will hump anything. And have no standards. Yes, but those are boys. We men are more discriminating. We’ll hump _almost_ anything. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/18 "2006-06-06T19:36:57Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Yes, but those are boys. We men are more discriminating. We’ll hump _almost_ anything. Speak for yourself. (No, I’m **not** going to clarify that one way or the other. 😛 ) ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/19 "2006-06-06T22:11:11Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Upon actually looking at her, it strikes me that boys really are silly. And indeed will hump anything. And have no standards. You’re just now realizing this? How old \*are \* you? ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612/20 "2006-06-06T22:15:39Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Upon actually looking at her, it strikes me that boys really are silly. And indeed will hump anything. And have no standards. “Billy, tell me again why you’re keeping pumpkins in your room. Halloween is months away”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-ornament-to-the-teaching-profession/359612.md?page=2)