# Another poll for the ladies to hop on **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746 "2006-08-22T14:05:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/21 "2006-08-22T21:27:35Z")
I did this constantly a relationship I had a few years ago. It was easier to reconcile with having-sex-while-not-wanting-it than the guilt trip he would otherwise impose. ---
**Author:** ![x\_lenia\_x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/5daacb/32.png) [@x\_lenia\_x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x_lenia_x)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2006, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/22 "2006-08-22T21:58:37Z")
all the time with my first bf. i was 13 - no one EVER just ‘feels like it’ when they’re 13! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/23 "2006-08-23T10:49:53Z")
[QUOTE=Aangelica] Okay, this is almost certainly not what you’re looking for, but the times I’ve done this were inevitably (and I do mean inevitably) hideous for me. And, to clarify, I mean had sex when I didn’t want to (as opposed to when I was neutral or distracted or busy or whatever - straight up did not want to have the sex) just to make him quit nagging me. Of course, his form of nagging me was to make me feel defective, fat, ugly and worthless and spin it all in such a way that only my agreement to sex I in no way wanted could possibly make up for those flaws. Why, yes, I am violently against this particular relationship manipulation tactic. Why do you ask? [/QUOTE] So nice when someone pretty much writes your answer, **Aangelica** saved me the effort. In my case, the one bf who did that crap would use the oldest line in the book: basically, if I didn’t feel like sex (usually, because I still had bruises from the last time) I was being a bitch and just doing it to punish him. The fact that I did fall for that kind of behaviour shows that smoke does, indeed, get in your eyes. I got better. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/24 "2006-08-23T13:12:24Z")
[QUOTE=x\_lenia\_x] no one EVER just ‘feels like it’ when they’re 13! [/QUOTE] Erm… The only way I can parse this sentence is as ‘nobody ever just “feels like it” at thirteen, they are _driven_ to it.’ ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/25 "2006-08-23T13:18:05Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] Erm… The only way I can parse this sentence is as ‘nobody ever just “feels like it” at thirteen, they are _driven_ to it.’ [/QUOTE] Not to paint with too broad a brush here, but I’d guess this is more true of 13-year-od boys than girls. _Most_ girs I know/have known, are not interested in sex yet at 13. ---
**Author:** ![Wnabtokio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Wnabtokio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wnabtokio)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/26 "2006-08-23T17:37:36Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] What is this “Not in the Mood” that you folks are talking about? [/QUOTE] Seriously. A lot of times my boyfriend very generously does fun things with me when HE’S not in the mood. (As often as that happens, which admittedly is not very often.) Although, if I’m sick or something, I’m less likely to want to…but I still will. I change my mind pretty quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/27 "2006-08-23T18:13:35Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] So…have you ever done it just to “shut him up” even though you weren’t realy into the mood? What specificially were the magic words because, you know, just curious. 😉 [/QUOTE] Yes and there aren’t really any magic words. If you’re in love you want to please your partner and giving up 15 minutes for his pleasure isn’t a terrible thing. I found the trick is to act like I am REALLY into it which cuts that 15 down to about 5 and everyone’s happy. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/28 "2006-08-23T18:42:34Z")
[QUOTE=QuickSilver] Ya got pandas? [/QUOTE] Well, those are certainly _not_ the magic words I was expecting… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/29 "2006-08-23T20:46:56Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] So…have you ever done it just to “shut him up” even though you weren’t realy into the mood? What specificially were the magic words because, you know, just curious. 😉 [/QUOTE] I recently found out that my husband has been doing this - just going along to shut me up even if he doesn’t feel like sex. I can’t even begin to explain how bad it can make you feel. If you are good with it, go ahead. But I know right now we are having some problems, and this is not the least of it. Hopefully the fact that you know going in that she doesn’t want to and you are persuading her otherwise will make for a different outcome. When I am not in the mood, I can usually work my way into it within five minutes. I like that phrase “Cabbage Soup Effect” - it describes perfectly what I thought about it. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/30 "2006-08-23T21:06:09Z")
[QUOTE=Ethilrist] > [@QuickSilver](#): > > Ya got pandas? Well, those are certainly _not_ the magic words I was expecting… :dubious: [/QUOTE] I’d give it a try but she’s deaf in one ear and would probably respond with “What?” or “Yeah, in the top drawer, why?” and then things would kind of head off in the wrong direction. **ShelliBean** , I’m sorry to say I understand completely both sides of what you’re talking about. Most times I’m indifferent to my wife at best. But occasionally we get all mammally with each other until one of us realizes we’re “being tolerated” for a few minutes and then yeah, it feels really bad. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/31 "2006-08-23T21:23:41Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] (I’m also reconsidering my “never again” stance. Y’all make a lot of sense, particularly about how if we wait until we’re both in the mood, it may take years. I just need to figure out how to re-wire it into my brain so that I don’t feel “put-upon” or martyred for doing it.) [/QUOTE] Good, because I was about to revoke your screen name. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/32 "2006-08-25T07:53:20Z")
I’m not a woman, but my girlfriend recently told me that if I want to have sex and she seems like she’s not into it at first, I should try just rubbing it on her enough to get her wet enough to put it in. She said that usually gets her in the mood enough to have sex. My mistake was in trying to be all nice and sensitive by kissing, touching, rubbing, stroking, and avoiding the heavy action areas until I got some positive feedback. She was giving me signals that I thought meant that she didn’t want to have sex when really she just didn’t want the sensitive touching. Apparently, even after being with her for years I hadn’t figured out that sometimes she’s just not in the mood for foreplay even though she wouldn’t mind having sex. Even though I felt selfish and insensitive for doing it, I tried it a few times and I’ll be damned if she didn’t occasionally get more into it than some of the times I lavished attention on her before doing it. Man, sometimes all that time and effort I spent acquiring my mad horny-making skillz and honing my technique feels wasted. Just put it in and start banging, sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![DrunkOnion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ab097/32.png) [@DrunkOnion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrunkOnion)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/33 "2006-08-25T08:41:29Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] So…have you ever done it just to “shut him up” even though you weren’t realy into the mood? What specificially were the magic words because, you know, just curious. 😉 [/QUOTE] My SO and I have never said NO to one another..Sex is a gift we share and give to each other. I know how sappy that sounds..but it works for us. Magic words…Hey baby. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/34 "2006-08-25T10:05:19Z")
Very occasionally. It’s not pleasant. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746/35 "2006-08-25T17:21:50Z")
Hmmmm what were the magic words? Not that I’d consider this magic or that anything that followed was magical but if you want seriously mess with the relationship just so you can get some… Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Why Not? Huh? Did you say no? I didn’t hear you. Please? C’mon. It’s been two weeks. [in reality two days] Please? Are you seeing someone else? Please? Please? Why not? [because you know undermined trust can just fuck a relationship up but good] Fine. Just hurry the hell up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-poll-for-the-ladies-to-hop-on/369746.md?page=1)