# Another right wing freak spawns gay baby **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074 "2005-02-14T20:49:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/1 "2005-02-14T20:49:10Z")
In the latest in an ever-increasing string of radical right wingers whose children have come out, Alan Keyes’ daughter [Maya](http://www.advocate.com/new_news.asp?ID=15123&sd=02/12/05-02/14/05) has acknowledged that she is lesbian. You may remember Alan’s pronouncements at last year’s RNC convention that gay people are “selfish hedonists.” Now that Maya has come out publicly, her “defend the family” father has told her that she is not welcome in his home, nor will he pay for her tuition to Brown University. This left her homeless. Through the kindness and generosity of the GLBT community, Maya has a place to live again and has received private financial aid so that she will be able to attend college. I have to wonder, how many of these freaks’ children will have to come out before it dawns on the freaks that maybe their own belief systems need to be re-examined? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/2 "2005-02-14T20:54:44Z")
At least one more. Give the guy points for not being a hypocrite. He may be a crazed lunatic…but it appears he’s a _sincere_ crazed lunatic. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/3 "2005-02-14T21:02:59Z")
I think Keyes should sit down and have a nice _long_ chat with the Cheneys. How can anyone turn their back on their own child for being gay is beyond me. I know it happens, but I cannot comprehend such a lack of compassion. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/4 "2005-02-14T21:06:55Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > Give the guy points for not being a hypocrite. Well, except for that “defend the family” stuff. Apparently, that applies unless your family contains a dyke. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/5 "2005-02-14T21:13:28Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Well, except for that “defend the family” stuff. Apparently, that applies unless your family contains a dyke. Isn’t this the sort of paradox they’d have used to short circuit a computer in the old Star Trek series? … defend family… selfish hedonists… defend family… selfish hedonists… defend family… doe not compute… abort, abort… :: system crashes :: ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/6 "2005-02-14T22:50:15Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Isn’t this the sort of paradox they’d have used to short circuit a computer in the old Star Trek series? … defend family… selfish hedonists… defend family… selfish hedonists… defend family… doe not compute… abort, abort… :: system crashes :: They can’t abort. After all, abortion is murder. Disclaimer: I am pro-choice. The above is sarcasm. ---
**Author:** ![Princess\_Clara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@Princess\_Clara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princess_Clara)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/7 "2005-02-14T23:11:31Z")
A long long time ago in a time of my life known as “middle school” my mother and her sisters became fans of a sorta self-help book series by some woman whose name I can’t remember and whose books I can’t remember the titles to. I do remember them always having a cartoon version of the woman on the cover and one book was called “Pack up your Gloomies in a big box” or something. Anyhow I was at that age where I would read anything I could get my hands on so I decided to read one of the books by the woman. It’s was basically about her life and her family and one chapter that puzzles me even to this day was about when she found out her son was gay. It’s been years since I’ve read it and I only read it once but it has stuck with me for some reason. You see her son was like the most perfect person ever. He had high honors at his school (I wanna say he was valedictorian) and he had perfect manners, loved his family. All that. One important night (graduation?) his parents found his porn stash in the trunk of his car and he had to admit he was bisexual (the author of the book didn’t know what that meant at the time). Well, what happened was the author and her christian family couldn’t stand it and I remember reading this book as the woman went on and on about her grief. How everyday she would play sad music in her room and cry and cry. How her son eventually cut himself off from the family and changed his name and they don’t even know where he’s at. The author accepted the situation (not that her son was gay but that she’ll never see him again). My young little mind who had never given much thought to homosexuality or religion couldn’t comprehend this womans pain. Why she was lamenting so much. Why this had caused her relationship with her own son to be shot. Today it still mystifies me. You know, a lot of “conservative” familys who think they’ve raise their kids “right” have gay kids, they just don’t know it. I found out recently that one of my friends mom teaches gays how to be straight for a living. I think I learned this only a few days after she (the daughter) had given me head while her boyfriend watched. Mm. People are strange. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/8 "2005-02-14T23:15:57Z")
> [@Princess Clara](#): > > …book series by some woman whose name I can’t remember and whose books I can’t remember the titles to. I do remember them always having a cartoon version of the woman on the cover and one book was called “Pack up your Gloomies in a big box” or something. Amazon has a book called [Pack Up Your Gloomies In A Great Big Box, Then Sit On The Lid And Laugh!](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0849933641/002-2538505-8392004?v=glance) ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/9 "2005-02-14T23:53:50Z")
ANyone who doubts the lunacy of Alan Keyes has but to watch the debate footage of him and Barack Obama. I swear, I didn’t know whether to laugh hysterically, or throw shoes at the television. Sincere, however, he is. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/10 "2005-02-15T00:02:00Z")
Money quote from Maya: “They say most parents would be thrilled to have a child who doesn’t smoke, have sex, do drugs, hardly drinks. . . , does well in school, gets good grades, gets into the Ivy League. . . , goes regularly to church, spends free time mentoring kids.” Yeah, you’d think that. :rolleyes: Alan’s a prick. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/11 "2005-02-15T00:29:51Z")
I don’t feel too sorry for Maya she should know her father better than any of us and have expected such a debacle. Personally if I was gay and I had a father like that I’d not come out until _after_ he’d funded my education, then I would come out on graduation day and throw it in his face. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/12 "2005-02-15T00:34:07Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Money quote from Maya: “They say most parents would be thrilled to have a child who doesn’t smoke, have sex, do drugs, hardly drinks. . . , does well in school, gets good grades, gets into the Ivy League. . . , goes regularly to church, spends free time mentoring kids.” > > Yeah, you’d think that. :rolleyes: Alan’s a prick. Any child of mine had better take after their father by drinking and drinking heavily :). ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/13 "2005-02-15T00:49:50Z")
> [@Martin Hyde](#): > > Any child of mine had better take after their father by drinking and drinking heavily :). You selfish hedonist, you! Here, can I freshen up that drink, friend? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/14 "2005-02-15T01:03:06Z")
I am going to print this page and send it to a fundie I know who thinks ust maybe theres a little funny business going on with SpongeBob. I await her reaction/excuses/hedging/bigotry. Of course, even better would be one of these right wingers _wives_ coming out. ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/15 "2005-02-15T01:14:02Z")
> [@Princess Clara](#): > > Anyhow I was at that age where I would read anything I could get my hands on so I decided to read one of the books by the woman. It’s was basically about her life and her family and one chapter that puzzles me even to this day was about when she found out her son was gay. It’s been years since I’ve read it and I only read it once but it has stuck with me for some reason. You see her son was like the most perfect person ever. He had high honors at his school (I wanna say he was valedictorian) and he had perfect manners, loved his family. All that. > > One important night (graduation?) his parents found his porn stash in the trunk of his car and he had to admit he was bisexual (the author of the book didn’t know what that meant at the time). Well, what happened was the author and her christian family couldn’t stand it and I remember reading this book as the woman went on and on about her grief. How everyday she would play sad music in her room and cry and cry. How her son eventually cut himself off from the family and changed his name and they don’t even know where he’s at. The author accepted the situation (not that her son was gay but that she’ll never see him again). Yep, Barbara Johnson. Her son is apparently not gay anymore, though; he came back to his family about 19 years ago. Since we’re talking about Keyes, I think he’s making a big mistake. Your kid is your kid, no matter what. Disowning her isn’t going to make her straight OR make her not his kid anymore. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/16 "2005-02-15T01:27:33Z")
There really needs to be a term for the joy that one feels when a bigoted right wing icon asshole either gets caught up his hypocrisy or sees his little fantasy world bump up against reality. I suggest “Thurmondfreude”. All kidding aside, I used to think of Keyes as a joke, but he has exposed himself for what he is–a truly despicable waste of human flesh. I hope that his daughter finds the love that he cannot give him, and I hope that he grows old and dies alone. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/17 "2005-02-15T01:30:06Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > Yep, Barbara Johnson. > > Her son is apparently not gay anymore, though; he came back to his family about 19 years ago. Yeah, right! :dubious: Try reading about Spatula Ministries – the original founded by Barbara Johnson and the parallel San Diego ministry founded by Kathleen Bremner. A review of Bremner’s book about her lesbian daughter includes the following quote: > [@](#): > > Bremner could find no local support group with which she agreed, so she started her own group, thus pooling the ignorance. She calls it Spatula – after Barbara Johnson’s Spatula Ministries for parents of gay children. (Johnson, who has a gay son, now makes it clear that she’s never seen a case of change in homosexual orientation.) The healing that took place was not his turning straight, but in her finding that God’s strength, mercy, and love led her to accept him as he is. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/18 "2005-02-15T01:37:48Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > Since we’re talking about Keyes, I think he’s making a big mistake. Your kid is your kid, no matter what. Disowning her isn’t going to make her straight OR make her not his kid anymore. You see, it’s that first part. I think people like Keyes actually believe that being gay is a ‘lifestyle’. As if the kid woke up one day and said “Hey, I love to be marginalized and persecuted for my choices. I think I’ll go get a girlfriend with short hair and birkenstocks. WOOT!” And I think they _have_ to believe that. Because if it’s a choice the choosers can be bad people making immoral choices. If it’s an inherent trait in these folks then the accusers are guilty of discrimination…of persecution…of not loving their fellow man. And that would make them wrong. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/19 "2005-02-15T01:44:32Z")
What can I say? “Mister” Keyes is a vile, putrescent, fetid, bilious, gangrenous, odorous, pustulent heap of shit. So much for defending the family - his at any rate. Only a rancid piece of shit would throw his own child out. I hope the daughter can, with the help of her true friends, finish college, find a way to become extremely wealthy, and then use that wealth to buy enough power to destroy the old bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074/20 "2005-02-15T01:54:48Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > You see, it’s that first part. I think people like Keyes actually believe that being gay is a ‘lifestyle’. As if the kid woke up one day and said “Hey, I love to be marginalized and persecuted for my choices. I think I’ll go get a girlfriend with short hair and birkenstocks. WOOT!” Hmm, now this got me to thinking. Short hair _is_ a choice. Birkenstocks are a choice. Other things that are stereotypically gay or lesbian are choices. Could this lend credence to the belief that sexuality itself is a choice? (In case you can’t tell, I am _not_ saying that I believe this, just speculating about how other people think.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-right-wing-freak-spawns-gay-baby/290074.md?page=2)