# Another "screaming kids in a restaurant" thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 7, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125 "2012-04-07T22:22:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/21 "2012-04-08T05:35:18Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > That’s a cool sign but super-awkward working. “noise kept to a level”? I know - I’d like to re-write it for them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/22 "2012-04-08T06:16:34Z")
In my location. there are “no children allowed” bars and restaurants. I patronize them. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/23 "2012-04-08T07:18:32Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I think the people with the screaming baby at the table were more of an ass. And I don’t control his behavior anyway, he is a grown man and not my son. > [@Shakes](#): > > Yet you applaud his actions. Yes the people at the table were asses but so was your friend. The parents were asses to everyone in the restaurant, both the other diners AND the workers, none of whom deserved this sort of annoyance. **Alice’s** friend was an ass only to the asshole parents, who richly deserved being called out on their behavior. It’s NOT a good idea to bring a new baby to a public place. Even if the baby is breastfed, its immune system isn’t up and running at full speed. New babies need to sleep a lot, and they don’t need to be overstimulated late in the evening. Plus, of course, it’s not OK to annoy other people. The baby isn’t being deliberately annoying, but the parents need to learn how and when to engage a babysitter. ---
**Author:** ![santorum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@santorum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/santorum)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/24 "2012-04-08T13:33:59Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Hotel I was staying in a couple of days ago and am about to return to. French couple with a three year old and a four year old (at a guess). Kids are running a full circuit of the bar squealing EEEEEEEEEEEEE, over and over again. The parents ignore them. “Regarde-moi papa! Regarde-moi!” Parents shrug. After a long time of this one of them whacks a waiter in the nuts. He does his best to smile and brings the kid back to the table. Parents release it again. Continue until bedtime, which in these kids’ case was 10pm. > > Next morning at the breakfast buffet they were at it again, but this time reaching their hands up and playing with the food, including the younger one sticking his entire dirty fist into a bowl of yogurt. The parents said “ah, mignon” to that. > > So adorable! I do hope they’ve gone when I get back. Maybe that’s the superior way to raise babies. [Why French Parents Are Superior](http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816.html) ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/25 "2012-04-08T14:09:43Z")
There are a number of our friends, with kids similar in age to ours, who I will no longer eat out with because they don’t control the kids and I will not allow ours to get the idea that it’s OK to run around restaurants or to scream. One of my wife’s friends has kids the same ages, but their 3-year-old is a boy and the younger is a girl, the opposite to what we have. We’ve been in reasonably nice restaurants, and when the kids are through eating, off they go to run around the tables. I told my wife that this wasn’t cool, so she mentioned it to the friend, who told them to chill out and went back to the conversation. Naturally, the kids were back to running around within seconds. I wound up taking all the kids outside to let them run around. I’ve told my wife we’re not going out with that family until the kids are in grade school, and if they haven’t improved by then, we’ll wait until college. Toddlers only have a certain amount of control, and most of them cannot be expected to sit quietly while the parents leisurely talk. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/26 "2012-04-08T14:18:20Z")
Maybe so,but that’s why you have to socialise them - I believe this is called ‘BEING A PARENT’ - kids when they know how to behave are an asset to the dining out experience. If you are unwilling or incapable of socialising your child, you sure are going to run into problems later. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/27 "2012-04-08T14:19:16Z")
> [@santorum](#): > > Maybe that’s the superior way to raise babies. > > [Why French Parents Are Superior](http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816.html) Well yeah, I didn’t say they were _representative_ of French parents. Just that they happened to be French. I’ve actually never had a shitty experience with French kids before those two loooooong days. (Who knows, they were only speaking French; they might have been Belgian or Swiss instead.) ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/28 "2012-04-08T14:28:15Z")
> [@casdave](#): > > Maybe so,but that’s why you have to socialise them - I believe this is called ‘BEING A PARENT’ - kids when they know how to behave are an asset to the dining out experience. > > If you are unwilling or incapable of socialising your child, you sure are going to run into problems later. Yes, you do have to socialize them. This involves letting them know when they aren’t behaving properly, and that you are not willing to let them go running around tables, for instance, or go play with the condiments on the condiment table. Just taking kids out in public is NOT socializing them, if you aren’t also keeping tabs on them. Letting a toddler run loose in a restaurant that has servers who are carrying pots of hot coffee or trays of hot food…well, it’s not the server’s fault if s/he trips because a toddler ran right into him/her. With infants, there’s not much you can do, other than make sure sure that the baby isn’t in pain and then rock or pat the baby, which might shut it up and might not. However, since babies cry, and sometimes can’t be consoled, that means that parents either eat at a drive in or hire a babysitter. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/29 "2012-04-08T15:00:15Z")
What parents need is a discipline tool. The problem with spanking or slapping them is that they’re likely to scream louder. A punch in the mouth might work, but the dental bills would be prohibitive. I wonder if tasers have been tested on kids? Perhaps a tasering to the throat would paralyse the vocal cords? Maybe I’m being too technology.oriented. A simple rope with a slip knot around the neck would be a dandy choke collar. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/30 "2012-04-08T15:11:42Z")
My Grandma Bodoni had a perfect discipline tool for public use. [Here](http://icanhascheezburger.com/2012/01/31/funny-pictures-perfecting-stink-eye/) it is demonstrated by an adorable kitten. She didn’t need anything else. Her kids (six of them) knew that if she shot The Stinkeye at them, that they had better straighten up, or else they’d face the consequences when they got home. Parents don’t have to choose between completely ignoring their kids and hovering over them. It’s possible to take kids out and have everyone enjoy the outing, even complete strangers. But the parents DO have to do more than say “please don’t do that honey” when a child marches up to someone else’s table and makes a grab at the stranger’s food. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/31 "2012-04-08T15:15:46Z")
How about skipping a twenty to the wait staff and asking them to lace the kids’ food with tranquilizer? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/32 "2012-04-08T15:18:21Z")
If it was possible to incorporate this wisdom on a sign, it’d be nice to see “Small children get bored easily and start behaving badly. When your meal is over, adults please do not linger endlessly for chit-chat and cellphone conversations while your kids go berserk. If you can’t be bothered to control them, leave promptly.”\* > [@Chimera](#): > > Better yet, if you walk in and see and hear screaming, uncontrolled kids, let the staff know that you are chosing to eat elsewhere, and why, and then do so. > > Lost business tends to get their attention. Unfortunately, families with screaming uncontrolled kids tend to spend more money in restaurants than the people who complain about them. \*One of Jackmanni’s Laws Of Dining Out is that the amount of time it takes a group to settle their bill, pack up their stuff and leave is directly proportional to how loud, obnoxious and clueless they and their kids have been during the meal. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/33 "2012-04-08T15:26:26Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Your big friend sounds like an ass. Of course, because doing anything other than silently tolerating rude or bad behavior by others makes you the one being rude. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/34 "2012-04-08T18:13:47Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > What parents need is a discipline tool. The problem with spanking or slapping them is that they’re likely to scream louder. A punch in the mouth might work, but the dental bills would be prohibitive. > > I wonder if tasers have been tested on kids? Perhaps a tasering to the throat would paralyse the vocal cords? > > Maybe I’m being too technology.oriented. A simple rope with a slip knot around the neck would be a dandy choke collar. Tasers with child levels? Interesting. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/35 "2012-04-08T18:22:01Z")
Not quite as satisfying as a taser, and a little more potential for collateral damage, but I’ve found that spray bottles with cold water work quite well for shocking toddlers back into respectability. It works for cats too - win win! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/36 "2012-04-08T18:26:25Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Tasers with child levels? Interesting. 🙂 Oh no. If you want them to act like grownups, you have to tase them like grownups. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/37 "2012-04-08T18:28:40Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Oh no. If you want them to act like grownups, you have to tase them like grownups. Bro. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/38 "2012-04-08T18:37:21Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Parents don’t have to choose between completely ignoring their kids and hovering over them. It’s possible to take kids out and have everyone enjoy the outing, even complete strangers. **But the parents DO have to do more than say “please don’t do that honey” when a child marches up to someone else’s table and makes a grab at the stranger’s food.** A former coworker of mine had a good analogy for the method of parenting where you just sit there repeatedly saying “Stop” or “Don’t do that.” She said “It’s like trying to drive a car by honking the horn. You gotta grab the steering wheel!” ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/39 "2012-04-08T18:45:38Z")
I wonder why these parents don’t let their children act like that in church? They get whisked to the back of the church or outside. In my view, the children shrieking in terror at a bloody man foisted upon a cross is a far more appropriate place for them to be screaming! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/40 "2012-04-08T22:40:53Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’ve told this story here before too, I think - we were in our local pub one night when there was a family in there with their screaming baby (for some reason, this pub occasionally has children in it - the parents don’t seem to understand that it is a PUB, not a family restaurant). I’m gonna venture that it might be you who are mistaken about the nature of the establishment. Adults-only venues turn away children, and this place apparently doesn’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125.md?page=3)