# Another "screaming kids in a restaurant" thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 7, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125 "2012-04-07T22:22:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/41 "2012-04-08T23:44:30Z")
Huh, we just went out to eat, and a little 2 YO was running the length of the restaurant and making lots of noise and nearly tripping up the waiters. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/42 "2012-04-09T00:22:05Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > The parents were asses to everyone in the restaurant, both the other diners AND the workers, none of whom deserved this sort of annoyance. **Alice’s** friend was an ass only to the asshole parents, who richly deserved being called out on their behavior. > > It’s NOT a good idea to bring a new baby to a public place. Even if the baby is breastfed, its immune system isn’t up and running at full speed. New babies need to sleep a lot, and they don’t need to be overstimulated late in the evening. Plus, of course, it’s not OK to annoy other people. The baby isn’t being deliberately annoying, but the parents need to learn how and when to engage a babysitter. So.. “Shut the fuck’n baby up” is the high road to take? This is good to know, because what this world really needs is more assholes. I mean, why bother management with this situation? Because ya’ know, it’s not like this sort of thing falls with in their job description. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/43 "2012-04-09T04:10:13Z")
You have much more faith in management than I do. Or perhaps you have had better experiences with management. I’ve rarely been able to get good results with complaining to the manager about screaming kids. First, the manager takes his/her sweet time in showing up, and second, it seems that management would rather have screaming kids than have to confront the oblivious parents. If some parents got embarrassed about someone calling them out on their kids, good. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/44 "2012-04-09T05:31:45Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I’m gonna venture that it might be you who are mistaken about the nature of the establishment. Adults-only venues turn away children, and this place apparently doesn’t. [There’s no doubt, it’s a pub](http://tipperaryspub.com/index2.html). We have some strange laws here that allow children in places that sell alcohol, but not in places that have VLTs. Just because children are permitted in a pub doesn’t mean that’s it’s an appropriate place for children. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/45 "2012-04-09T05:36:18Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Of course, because doing anything other than silently tolerating rude or bad behavior by others makes you the one being rude. :rolleyes: No, but try this: “We’re not able to enjoy our meal or conversation, can you take the baby for a walk or something please?” vs. “Will you shut that fucking baby up?!” See a difference? One makes you look like a reasonably upset person, one makes you look like a childish, profane boor. Multiplying two negatives creates a positive in mathematics, but not in human social interactions. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/46 "2012-04-09T06:11:29Z")
To be clear, my friend didn’t ask the parents to shut that fucking baby up. He said to me, “I wish someone would shut that fucking baby up.” He didn’t say it to the room, or loudly enough that the offending parents should have even heard him. I agree that that would have been rude of him. They overheard him, accidentally… but fortunately. Who wants to eat with an infant screaming in their ear? Not me. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/47 "2012-04-09T06:29:52Z")
I opened this thread with great trepidation as I misread the title. I thought it was **Another “screwing kids in a restaurant” thread.** ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/48 "2012-04-09T07:04:43Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > [There’s no doubt, it’s a pub](http://tipperaryspub.com/index2.html). We have some strange laws here that allow children in places that sell alcohol, but not in places that have VLTs. Just because children are permitted in a pub doesn’t mean that’s it’s an appropriate place for children. Agreed. My local sports bar has no VLTs, nor does it permit smoking (well, no place in the province does), but in spite of the fact that these things mean that it can allow children, does not permit children under any circumstances. That’s their choice. So far, they’re not hurting. Regardless, I would hope that in spite of what is on offer, parents would realize that “Joe’s Sports Bar,” with $4 draft happy hours and wings on special between 4:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. is probably not a place to take a child, while the “Happy Fun Time Family Restaurant,” with crayons and puzzles and a kids’ menu, but licensed for the adults who might like a glass of beer, might be a better choice. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/49 "2012-04-09T07:20:25Z")
Hubby and I have solved the problem for ourselves by always eating in the bar. Now, the pool is another story. I have a deep water aerobics class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It starts at 1:30 PM They have a preschool swim class starting at 2:00 PM at the shallow end. The parents bring their kids early and allow them to run around the pool, climb on the bleechers and scream to the point we can’t hear our instructor. Every day at least one parent has to be told to control their child/children. When one toddler, not in the class, fell off the bench, the mother acted like the lifeguard should have prevented it. Once their instructors are there, the screaming increases because it’s encouraged. I know, they have to make it fun, but is bloody murder an approprate volume for play? ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/50 "2012-04-09T08:20:34Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Of course, because doing anything other than silently tolerating rude or bad behavior by others makes you the one being rude. :rolleyes: And naturally the only way to deal with bad behaviour is to be rude and nasty, with a side order of bullying to boot. :rolleyes:😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/51 "2012-04-09T08:48:26Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > I opened this thread with great trepidation as I misread the title. > > I thought it was **Another “screwing kids in a restaurant” thread.** Nah. Cesario got the flick. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/52 "2012-04-09T17:58:40Z")
My younger child was simply unable to sit quietly for more than about a minute until she was nearly kindergarten age. Every so often we’d try to go out to eat someplace more upscale than McD’s, but after a short while would have to either leave without ordering or someone would have to go out of the restaurant with her – to the parking lot or back to the car. We explained that this was not a punishment, that we understood she wasn’t able to control herself yet, and that when she was able to sit politely she would be allowed to go to restaurants. Eventually she learned, not only that one must sit quietly in restaurants, but that actions have consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/53 "2012-04-09T18:04:26Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > My younger child was simply unable to sit quietly for more than about a minute until she was nearly kindergarten age. Every so often we’d try to go out to eat someplace more upscale than McD’s, but after a short while would have to either leave without ordering or someone would have to go out of the restaurant with her – to the parking lot or back to the car. > > We explained that this was not a punishment, that we understood she wasn’t able to control herself yet, and that when she was able to sit politely she would be allowed to go to restaurants. Eventually she learned, not only that one must sit quietly in restaurants, but that actions have consequences. Why did you not explain that is WAS a punishment and would continue until she learned to control herself? I’m not a parent, so I don’t have any real knowledge of parenting techniques or child psychology. But I like my Taser idea! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kbear)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/54 "2012-04-09T18:09:51Z")
When my kids were just over a year old we were visiting relatives but staying in a hotel. One night we screwed up and waited too long to go for dinner. We were at a place that was maybe one step up from a TGI Fridays, so still a family type place. The girls were hungry and I have to confess they were out of control. We took them outside for walks while we waited for food. We jiggled them, sang then songs…begged for silence! We asked the waitress to bring them a little something while the rest of the order was prepared and they refused saying we had to wait as others had ordered first. Fair enough but had they had any brains at all they could have rustled up a bowl of pasta. People were glaring at us and we felt really badly…one table actually got up and left but by that point there were no other food options but to wait for what we had ordered. We got them to pack it up to go and scuttled out of there with our tails between our legs and ate the food cold in our hotel room. All this to say sometimes shit happens and even when you do your best, your kids end up spoiling an evening out for others. I am happy to say at least they never misbehaved in a restaurant again. I refused to to spend ten years of my life eating at McDonalds because that is the only place children are tolerated and I trained them to behave in nice places. ---
**Author:** ![secretsmile36](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@secretsmile36](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/secretsmile36)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/55 "2012-04-09T18:16:27Z")
How old was the kid? I don’t think it’s very funny that the kid had to suffer because his or her parents are idiots. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/56 "2012-04-09T18:36:32Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > And naturally the only way to deal with bad behaviour is to be rude and nasty, with a side order of bullying to boot. :rolleyes:😃 It’s not the only way, but it is a viable option once the bad behaviour from someone else has opened the door. 🙂 > [@kbear](#): > > When my kids were just over a year old we were visiting relatives but staying in a hotel. One night we screwed up and waited too long to go for dinner. We were at a place that was maybe one step up from a TGI Fridays, so still a family type place. The girls were hungry and I have to confess they were out of control. We took them outside for walks while we waited for food. We jiggled them, sang then songs…begged for silence! We asked the waitress to bring them a little something while the rest of the order was prepared and they refused saying we had to wait as others had ordered first. Fair enough but had they had any brains at all they could have rustled up a bowl of pasta. > > People were glaring at us and we felt really badly…one table actually got up and left but by that point there were no other food options but to wait for what we had ordered. We got them to pack it up to go and scuttled out of there with our tails between our legs and ate the food cold in our hotel room. > > All this to say sometimes shit happens and even when you do your best, your kids end up spoiling an evening out for others. I am happy to say at least they never misbehaved in a restaurant again. I refused to to spend ten years of my life eating at McDonalds because that is the only place children are tolerated and I trained them to behave in nice places. I’m hearing a certain amount of entitlement here - you think you did your best in this situation? I disagree. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/57 "2012-04-09T18:37:02Z")
> [@kbear](#): > > When my kids were just over a year old we were visiting relatives but staying in a hotel. One night we screwed up and waited too long to go for dinner. We were at a place that was maybe one step up from a TGI Fridays, so still a family type place. The girls were hungry and I have to confess they were out of control. We took them outside for walks while we waited for food. We jiggled them, sang then songs…begged for silence! We asked the waitress to bring them a little something while the rest of the order was prepared and they refused saying we had to wait as others had ordered first. Fair enough but had they had any brains at all they could have rustled up a bowl of pasta. They should have brought you some food. I eat with my nephew and niece occasionally. First of all, they are not even a little socialized, and the parents aren’t remotely embarrassed by the noise they make, so that’s moot anyway, but the waiters always try to bring them food early and quickly, even if it’s just a little pasta or some veggies. Anyway there is a vast difference between parents who care and parents who don’t. I’m sorry that people glared at you. When I see the parent is making every effort but the kid just won’t be quiet I just feel bad. It’s not like the parent is exactly enjoying their meal! I was on a flight a couple of years ago and there was a crying toddler. OMG that poor mom, flying alone. She did everything she could, she was constantly trying to make the poor baby feel better, and I just felt so bad for her. Yes it was annoying but it wasn’t like she was just blithely sitting there - and that’s when it gets annoying. When parents just sit there letting their kid make all that noise, or run up and down in a restaurant, without ANY situational awareness. ---
**Author:** ![kbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kbear)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/58 "2012-04-09T19:04:24Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > It’s not the only way, but it is a viable option once the bad behaviour from someone else has opened the door. 🙂 > > I’m hearing a certain amount of entitlement here - you think you did your best in this situation? I disagree. No entitlement at all. We weren’t dining at Claridge’s. We were at a family restaurant. There was a children’s menu. Children were welcome. A bowl of plain pasta would have fixed the problem immediately. It was only after we had ordered and waited 10 or 15 minutes that they both began to cry. As for doing our best I meant generally we did our best but we screwed up that day by going for dinner so late. I was trying to express the fact that not all parents are clueless yokels who have no clue the effect their children’s behaviour has on others. One bad meal is not bad parenting. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/59 "2012-04-09T19:09:18Z")
> [@kbear](#): > > As for doing our best I think you did fine. Thankfully, I don’t run into this problem very much. It’s the adult children that bother me more. But I have run into children running up and down the aisle of a movie theatre. And an airplane. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125/60 "2012-04-09T19:12:42Z")
I don’t have any problem with fussy kids on airplanes and in places like that, when it’s clear the parents are making every effort to fix the problem. It’s one thing to try and fail and it’s a whole other kettle of fish to act like you don’t give a damn one way or the other. I don’t ever remember my sister’s kids acting up in restaurants. Ever. My dad said he took them for the weekend once (they were probably about 3 and 5 or maybe 4 and 6 – somewhere in there) and the first night, they were awful in the restaurant. Then he remembered my sister’s pre-restaurant procedure and tried it out. It goes like this. Pull up at the restaurant. Before the car doors are unlocked and before seatbelts are removed, the grown up in charge starts asking kids questions. How do we act in the restaurant? Kids: Goooood! Do we run around visiting all the other tables? Kids: Noooooo! Do we play with stuff on the table? Kids: Noooooo! Do we sit quietly and color until the server comes? Kids: Yeeeeees! When the server comes, what do we do? Kids: We tell her what we want to eat. And when the food comes, what do we do then? Kids: We sit quietly and eat! Onus on the parents for getting to food when kids are hungry, but not overtired or overhungry and also, there’s a responsibility to get the check and GTFO after you’ve eaten. Kids aren’t just going to sit there while you chew the fat. As was stated upthread, kids can only handle so much. My dad found that, when he took the time to review proper restaurant behavior, the kids understood what was expected of them and they behaved admirably. He said it was like two different sets of kids. But yeah. “No, stop, don’t do that,” obviously isn’t effective. At the risk of comparing children to dogs, even I know that. It’s one thing to tell my dog no, don’t chew on my shoes, but she gets it when I actually give her something she is allowed to chew on. Dogs chew. Kids run amok. That’s what dogs and kids do. It’s up to us as grown up humans to teach them all how to behave and that doesn’t just mean constant negative feedback. You have to tell them what you _want_ them to do, not just what you don’t want them to do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-screaming-kids-in-a-restaurant-thread/618125.md?page=4)