Caregivers to mentally incompetant adults have the same responsibilities towards their charges and the general public as the parents of small children too young to control their own behavior for an hour at a time.
You’re absolutely correct that I do not want to see an elderly person with dementia being ignored in a public setting. You’re right that I don’t want to them throwing food or running around a restaurant in danger of injury and causing a hazard. If they are screaming hysterically in a tantrum they need to be attended to and/or removed. If they have nutritional needs someone should be paying attention to them and providing them with what they need. If they reek of shit someone should be cleaning them up.
I think the screaming kids in a restaurant thing is overly complained about and I can’t stand kids. Having said that, the word genius no longer has meaning if you truly mean this. This is just another of her “let me show you the error of your ways” in a long line of her Nannying history. Genius? Yikes.
Really, this happens to you all the time? I’ve seen kids screaming, or on occasion running around, but I must admit I’ve never had a kid ‘fuck with my head’ or ‘thump my back’, let alone consider it a big, major concern.
Maybe my head and back just isn’t very attractive.
And don’t even get me started on teenagers. I’ve never seen a little kid loudly yakking to their friends on a cellphone while not looking where they are going, and little kids don’t usually move in loud, intimidating packs.
And young professionals - they are the worst. Full of entitlement, they are.
But somehow, with a bit of goodwill, we survive such things as people different from us who are sometimes minorly annoying. Amazing, that.
It has happened, though not very often. This is mostly in the theatres, though, where kids are allowed to kick the back of the chairs ahead of them.
The touching thing has happened on rare occasion (kid stands up in the booth behind you and touches your hair). I’ve never had it where the parent didn’t stop the kid as soon as I said something, but really, it should not get to that point! I understand kids are crazy little shits, but your kids should not be touching people!
But yes, it is very very rare. Still, one maple syrupy-grab for your hair and you won’t forget it quick.
I’ve seen elders break down with angry ranting at waitstaff presumably caused by dementia on two memorable occasions in restaurants I’ve been in, causing great disruption, but I’ve never even once had a kid grab my hair in a restaurant.
Though I’ll readily admit, parents should not allow kids to grab other people’s hair.
It does happen to me all the time. In fact, if I’m sitting in a booth, and there’s a small child behind me, it’s gotten to where I expect that eventually, they’re going to stand up and start shit. Maybe it’s the restaurants I go to- family ones, mostly.
I have nothing against children, or children going to restaurants. I just think that parents should control them or leave them elsewhere, that’s all. And I have never seen an old person cause a problem in a restaurant. But then, I avoid places like Country Kitchen Buffet.
You DO fucking choose to grow old. It’s pretty much exactly the same as choosing to have kids.
Responsible people kill themselves before they ever burden the all-important Middle Aged. If you choose to continue living after 55 (60 at the latest) you deserve all the abuse you get, as a disgusting old person. Yuck! I mean, damn, at least kids will grow out of it and become productive members of society; old people are completely used up. They should either shut themselves up somewhere where no one has to see/smell them, or die. It’s the only polite way.
Haha. I’m the judgmental, condescending “nanny” here. Not the people who think that all parents can and should have a perfect track record of never having a cranky kid in public, and offer helpful let-them-eat-cake style advice (“just hire a baby sitter every single time you need to get shit done!” for every situation where a parent might end up in a less-than-ideal spot.
And it’s the kids who are the entitled “special snowflakes.” Not the people who think wide swathes of America should voluntarily ban themselves from public establishments, even establishments that welcome them in and gladly accept their money, so that they can go out where and when they want without the danger of sharing a public space with someone not in their preferred demographics.
Seriously, losing 50% of your brainpower to the constant monitoring of an un-housebroken little monkey (albeit a very cute one) will make you waaaaaay more tolerant of children behaving in sub-optimal ways, and waaaay less tolerant of the self-absorbed schmucks who are irritated by them.
I will keep my child contained and make best efforts to keep her quiet and her fingers out of your hair. If you expect her to sit still, speak in dulcet tones, and sip tea with her pinky up though… well, you aren’t going to be happy.
First, most people didn’t eat out as much back then. Going out to eat was an occasion, even if it was only to the neighborhood diner. You might go out to eat ONCE a month, if that. Second, many parents had some pretty strict expectations of how kids were supposed to act in public. Third, I remember being left to heat up a can of tamales or ravioli and being expected to eat that along with my siblings on occasion, while my parents went out to eat. If I was under about 10, we had a babysitter, but after I was 10 or 11, my parents expected me to be able to watch over my brother and sister for a few hours while they went out. So even when the adults went out, the kids might be at home with a can of Spaghetti-Os or mac’n’cheese.
Sure, there were kids who acted up back then. But social disapproval was much, much more united when those kids were yelling, and a restaurant (or store) was far more likely to ask the parents of problem children to take their business elsewhere.
No, you batshit wannabe martyr. I am the person who said you were nannying and I also said that I think the screaming-kid-at-a-restaurant thing is overly complained about so please save your “O I am sooo right and you are alll soooo wrong” for another thread. I’m quite sure you’ll find a place to insert it super soon.
FWIW, we take Junior most everywhere although we specifically choose kid friendly places. We’ve had total strangers come up and tell us how well behaved he is mostly because we don’t let him act like a little shit.
So, if his talking in regular toddler talk or giggling and coloring causes someone conniptions - well, tough shit. It’s a family oriented, kid friendly restaurant and if you can’t handle a kid don’t come here.
And I’m saying that as someone who is irritated by parents not parenting as much as anybody.
Leaving a 10 year old in charge of younger kids while mom and dad go out to dinner is abuse in my book, and neglect in most places legally, but I don’t really want to argue about it.
I think this is stretching what the word abuse should conjure in your mind. Sometimes we stretch words so much they become meaningless.
Lynn said that when she was OVER 10 or 11. Also, a couple of hours isn’t that long. When I was 11ish I watched my sister for an hour or so if my parents went somewhere. She was only 3 years younger. Some 11 year olds are more mature than your average 14 year old. I’m assuming Lynn’s parents knew what she was capable of.
Also, where are you finding the information about that being legal neglect in “most places” because I’m not finding that information to be true from the quick search I’ve done. My Googlefu may be far weaker than yours.
