# Another SDMB question - does it bother you when
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 17, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639 "2008-12-17T21:26:57Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/1 "2008-12-17T21:26:57Z")
You PM someone and they don’t answer? I’ve had a few of these recently and I can’t help but feel very snubbed.
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### Author:  [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/2 "2008-12-17T21:31:14Z")
I think some people don’t usually check their private messages that often.
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/3 "2008-12-17T21:31:23Z")
Oh, man. That _would_ be hard not to take personally.
If you knew they had been on the boards and such, of course.
> [@Mahaloth](#):
>
> I think some people don’t usually check their private messages that often.
Maybe I have a setting different on mine than most people, but if I have a PM, I get a pop-up.
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### Author:  [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/4 "2008-12-17T21:35:01Z")
Me too - maybe not everyone does. I remember someone posting ages ago that they just realised the PM function existed and checked to find they had about 900 PMs.
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### Author:  [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/5 "2008-12-17T21:35:14Z")
Some people just don’t check there PMs very often and if you don’t turn on the Pop-up feature or Email notification it is easy to miss the Private Messages: notification in the upper right hand corner. I check mine frequently as I use it quite a bit and I have the pop-up feature on.
I think I had one PM returned after a few months. It took me a bit to figure out what it was in reference to. So I guess you can put me done as not annoyed but then it doesn’t happen often.
Jim
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/6 "2008-12-17T21:38:14Z")
I have all pop-ups disabled and I hate email notifications, so unless I look, PMs can sit in my inbox for a bit before I ever notice them. If I don’t get a quick response from someone, I just assume they are they same way and roll with it.
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### Author:  [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/7 "2008-12-17T21:41:38Z")
I’ve been a member since 2003 and have only gotten 3 PMs. I suspect I haven’t gotten more for a number of reasons, including that I forget that I have an option to receive them. And, dammit, I just checked my PMs and realized that I got one in August 2007 and another in December 2007 from some very kind posters I very much enjoy talking to and didn’t even realize it.
I am such a ditz. Excuse me - I’m going to find a corner to sit in.
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/8 "2008-12-17T21:42:24Z")
I would try not to take it personally. I respond to 90% of mine, but sometimes I read PMs and intend to reply to them later, and then forget, and after I remember I feel it’d be too awkward to reply to them so late.
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### Author:  [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/9 "2008-12-17T21:47:07Z")
Nah. Lots of people don’t even know when they get PMs so I can’t be offended by it. I get an email notification when I have a PM though, so if you send me a PM and I don’t respond it is probably because you smell.😉
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### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/10 "2008-12-17T21:47:53Z")
I got a little annoyed when I sent a PM to someone providing a cite for a case that was related to a topic they’d started in GD. Only sent the PM to be sure they saw that case. No reply, no response in thread either. Guess who won’t be getting any more help from me?
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/11 "2008-12-17T22:03:59Z")
> [@pbbth](#):
>
> if you send me a PM and I don’t respond it is probably because you smell.😉
See, at least that’s something I can do something about.
🙂
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### Author:  [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/12 "2008-12-17T23:18:57Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#):
>
> Some people just don’t check there PMs very often and if you don’t turn on the Pop-up feature or Email notification it is easy to miss the Private Messages: notification in the upper right hand corner. I check mine frequently as I use it quite a bit and I have the pop-up feature on.
Agreed. Especially considering that as much as some Dopers are online, many aren’t very tech-savvy at all.
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### Author:  [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2008, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/13 "2008-12-17T23:35:38Z")
Since the OP sent me yesterday a private message I didn’t respond to, I feel compelled to answer.
Basically, the message was a positive comment on a post I wrote. I did see it, since I got a pop-up. I wondered what I could answer. “Thanks” would have been appropriate, but a bit short. On the other hand, I wasn’t sure what else I could say. So I thought :“well…I’ll answer later”. But later I still didn’t really know what to answer besides “thanks” or something similar. So, I let it slip. An acknowledgement would have been more polite, probably, but on the other hand, the message didn’t really warranted or required a response.
More generally : \*\* procrastination \*\* and the fact that for some reason I generally don’t like electronic messages (private messages on a message board but also e-mails that I often don’t even read, and even text messages on my cell phone) generally results in me quite rudely not writing at all. Basically, when it comes to write to a specific person (as opposed to posting on a message board, as you can see), I worry way too much about what I should respond, regardless how mundane the message (like in the OP example). Since I have a strong tendency to procrastinate, that’s what I do instead. And I don’t answer for some time, until at some point or another, I do not dare to answer anymore since I’m so late.
It’s generally not a problem, since normally I just call the person (Well…except when I haven’t read my e-mail during the last month), but people I’m only in relation with via internet, or the couple friends who live oversea and insist on sending me e-mails are out of luck. Weirdly enough, it doesn’t applies to snail mail (probably because I’ve sent and received such mails all my life) but almost nobody write an actual letter nowadays.
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### Author:  [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)
#### Post date: [December 18, 2008, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/14 "2008-12-18T09:40:35Z")
Ah, I see - my message was mundane and didn’t warrant a response. Understood.
_Slinks off to his corner to cry quietly_
😉
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### Author:  [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)
#### Post date: [December 18, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/15 "2008-12-18T17:27:33Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#):
>
> Ah, I see - my message was mundane and didn’t warrant a response. Understood.
>
> _Slinks off to his corner to cry quietly_
>
> 😉
…
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### Author:  [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)
#### Post date: [December 18, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/16 "2008-12-18T18:32:31Z")
Private messages? :eek:
> [@Upper right hand corner](#):
>
> **Welcome, ZenBeam.**
> You last visited: Yesterday at 10:34 PM
> Private Messages: Unread 0, Total 0.
Phew!
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### Author:  [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)
#### Post date: [December 18, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/17 "2008-12-18T18:47:36Z")
I sent a PM to **Der Trihs**
Still waiting for an answer but not holding my breath
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### Author:  [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)
#### Post date: [December 18, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/18 "2008-12-18T19:23:45Z")
Was it a nice PM? I always respond to nice PMs (although thinking about it I haven’t had any nasty ones - yet).
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### Author:  [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)
#### Post date: [December 18, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-sdmb-question-does-it-bother-you-when/477639/19 "2008-12-18T19:42:03Z")
I have a hard time not taking anything personally, so yes. Yes it does bother me.