# Another secret thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 14, 2017, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239 "2017-07-14T13:14:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2017, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/21 "2017-07-16T19:37:16Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > NEW SECRET > > ``` > For just over 3 years I have been in a BDSM relationship with a man who is married to someone else. I am his Domme, and he is my sub. He likes pain: spankings, whippings, beating with paddles, restraints and cock and ball torture, and urethral sounds. He comes to me for these desires that he cannot satisfy at home. We see each other on average twice a month. > > I have absolutely no intention of breaking up or harming his marriage. > > I am willing to answer questions. > > ``` Are you married yourself and if so, what’s your spouse’s opinion on the matter? Just to clarify we aren’t supposed to speculate just who the poster is right? Since for one or two, I think I can guess who (not the quoted post thoughts). And if you are copying what they wrote verbatim, then chances of writing style being recognised is high. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2017, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/22 "2017-07-16T19:51:22Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Are you married yourself and if so, what’s your spouse’s opinion on the matter? > > Just to clarify we aren’t supposed to speculate just who the poster is right? Since for one or two, I think I can guess who (not the quoted post thoughts). And if you are copying what they wrote verbatim, then chances of writing style being recognised is high. It is verbatim because that is the entire premise of the thread. Anyone who participates takes their chances. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2017, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/23 "2017-07-16T23:17:01Z")
NEW SECRET Domme checking in. Yes, I am a woman. A man would be titled a Dom, or possibly a Daddy. I am 61, this particular man is 46.  He does not pay me. It is a sexual relationship, but perhaps not in the way or ways you might imagine. He is usually restrained during our sessions, so I can do as I please with his body. I can also require him to please me in various ways. When we are not together, he is required to perform various tasks (send me nude pictures or cook dinner for his wife, for example) as ordered. I am not married. ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/24 "2017-07-17T01:19:46Z")
Wow, **iiandyiiii** , you’re revealing a lot of secrets! I hope someone else will add one of their own secrets to the thread soon. 🙂 EDIT: Sorry, I didn’t read the OP properly. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/25 "2017-07-17T01:35:39Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Are you married yourself and if so, what’s your spouse’s opinion on the matter? > > Just to clarify we aren’t supposed to speculate just who the poster is right? Since for one or two, I think I can guess who (not the quoted post thoughts). And if you are copying what they wrote verbatim, then chances of writing style being recognised is high. I would strongly recommend against this. Falsely accuse someone and you’re going to start all kinds of drama. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/26 "2017-07-17T13:25:42Z")
NEW SECRET I’m just a lurker, not a member. My GF of two years has terrible nightmares where she relives the yeas of abuse from her stalker many years ago. I keep a bottle of water by our bed for when she does: it clears her head quicker. Her daily life is plagued with anxiety and insecurities. Physically, she has several large knife wounds on her body, and her clitoris and the lining of her vagina are significantly scarred by burning. This occurred in a state with limited relationship statuses for who could be named on a restraining order. He was just some guy who’d asked if she needed a roommate, and then attacked her that night, and convinced her he’d killer her and himself if she tried to do anything about it. She fit the classic profile of sadist’s target: a “nice” girl from a nice family, with low self-esteem; so she was too embarrassed to ask for help, and was easily convinced she deserved the abuse. Although she did have him jailed several times, he would make bail, break back into her apartment, and promise to kill her if she filed charges. He also conditioned her not to cry so the neighbors wouldn’t call in as he tortured her. Besides the burning, torture took the form of beatings, strangulation, whippings, tying her up and leaving her in the closet for entire days, and watching her penetrate herself in the vagina and rectum with objects he’d retrieve from the trash. He threw her from a moving car, defecated and urinated on her, made her lie naked in an abandoned building and watched insects crawl on her for hours, destroyed her clothes, furniture and windshields repeatedly, and also tortured and killed a series of her pets. She was required to be wherever he expected her to be at all times, so that he could enter the apartment at any time, demand she strip and lie on the bed, and then hide in the closet and watch through its louvered blinds while another man, upon an arranged time delay, would enter through the back door and perform sex acts on her. Although she suffers PTSD and depression, she is still unable to cry all these years later. Our relationship is sometimes more than I can cope with, especially with her resistance to seeking therapy; and, once sought, the numbers of absolutely useless therapists she’s tried. I myself went to therapy for the frustration and anxiety I‘ve experienced from being in a PTSD relationship, and was lucky to find a good therapist. But not so good as to talk me out of what I’m writing to you about. I’ve been searching for her abuser for years. After many dead ends, I was able to find some peace in the possibility that he’d crossed the wrong person and was now long dead. But enough doubt lingered that I kept searching, and now know that he lives in a low-rent apartment complex in a faraway state. The state he lives in has capital punishment, which does put the idea of revenge in, balanced against the belief that this is the sort of crime that the police never solve unless its solution is obvious. It was a long time ago and we live very far away, and even if the police traced it back, I would put on the act of being one of those cranky guys who get all up about their civil rights and refuse to say anything on principle. I fucking hate this world just for the fact that this monster is somehow allowed to remain alive in it. Please give me a way to see this differently, or some other way to bring him to justice. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/27 "2017-07-17T14:02:07Z")
Jesus. If it helps, I’ve has some benefit from using emdr and propranolol therapy for my ptsd. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/28 "2017-07-17T14:04:06Z")
> [@](#): > > This occurred in a state with limited relationship statuses for who could be named on a restraining order. He was just some guy who’d asked if she needed a roommate, and then attacked her that night, and convinced her he’d killer her and himself if she tried to do anything about it. She fit the classic profile of sadist’s target: a “nice” girl from a nice family, with low self-esteem; so she was too embarrassed to ask for help, and was easily convinced she deserved the abuse. Although she did have him jailed several times, he would make bail, break back into her apartment, and promise to kill her if she filed charges. He also conditioned her not to cry so the neighbors wouldn’t call in as he tortured her. Besides the burning, torture took the form of beatings, strangulation, whippings, tying her up and leaving her in the closet for entire days, and watching her penetrate herself in the vagina and rectum with objects he’d retrieve from the trash. He threw her from a moving car, defecated and urinated on her, made her lie naked in an abandoned building and watched insects crawl on her for hours, destroyed her clothes, furniture and windshields repeatedly, and also tortured and killed a series of her pets. She was required to be wherever he expected her to be at all times, so that he could enter the apartment at any time, demand she strip and lie on the bed, and then hide in the closet and watch through its louvered blinds while another man, upon an arranged time delay, would enter through the back door and perform sex acts on her. Although she suffers PTSD and depression, she is still unable to cry all these years later. Sorry, but my BS meter is pegged on this. Seems way over-the-top to be true. I have a feeling she is fabricating stories, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/29 "2017-07-17T14:15:16Z")
Am I the only one who read “urethral sounds” above and went “wait, what kind of sounds does a urethra make?” before mentally readjusting the type of “sounds” being discussed? That was a weird moment. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/30 "2017-07-17T15:51:16Z")
I refresh MPSIMS a couple times a day, so I’ve read the title of this thread a good dozen times. And every time I turn to the dog and say “Another secret thread… Well, I better not read it then, it’s a secret.” (No, I hit “End of Page” before it finished loading, so I haven’t) ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/31 "2017-07-17T17:05:37Z")
NEW SECRET I am not a liberal but I play one on the SDMB. I go along to get along. I voted for Trump. I don’t regret it. There are others like me. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/32 "2017-07-17T17:37:46Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > NEW SECRET > > I am not a liberal but I play one on the SDMB. I go along to get along. I voted for Trump. I don’t regret it. There are others like me. You sure you ain’t just copying the Giraffe-boards posts? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/33 "2017-07-17T20:08:55Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > NEW SECRET > > I am not a liberal but I play one on the SDMB. I go along to get along. I voted for Trump. I don’t regret it. There are others like me. I know it’s _you_, **Der Trihs**. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/34 "2017-07-17T20:09:21Z")
MY SECRET I am iiandyiiiis sock. He doesn’t know it yet but I am going to have a spider in me in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/35 "2017-07-17T21:22:43Z")
NEW SECRET I just found out that I’m going to be a father. My wife told me she’s pregnant this morning, with a little present I unwrapped with baby clothes in it and her positive pregnancy test. We’ve been trying for a while now, so we’re both very happy. I’m sworn to secrecy until we see the doctor in a few weeks, but I figure anonymously on the Internet doesn’t count, and I’m bursting with the desire to share the good news. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/36 "2017-07-17T21:26:51Z")
Mazel Tov! ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/37 "2017-07-17T21:36:59Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > NEW SECRET > > I am not a liberal but I play one on the SDMB. I go along to get along. I voted for Trump. I don’t regret it. There are others like me. This board is pretty hard on non-liberals, I can’t blame you. So in the interest of honest dialogue, what about Trump felt appealing? I have tried but I really can’t find anything about him that is appealing as president, but 63 million people found something they liked. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/38 "2017-07-17T21:40:25Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > This board is pretty hard on non-liberals, I can’t blame you. But what’s the point if they aren’t engaging with the board as their real selves, with their real viewpoints? What benefit is to for someone to fake their convictions just to blend in with a messageboard? ---
**Author:** ![HurricaneDitka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/96bed5/32.png) [@HurricaneDitka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HurricaneDitka)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/39 "2017-07-17T21:41:52Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > This board is pretty hard on non-liberals, I can’t blame you. > > So in the interest of honest dialogue, what about Trump felt appealing? I have tried but I really can’t find anything about him that is appealing as president, but 63 million people found something they liked. As a non-liberal not-in-hiding (thus, not my secret, and I’d be delighted to hear this person’s answer to your question), the biggest thing for me was his list of potential Supreme Court nominees. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2017, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239/40 "2017-07-17T21:52:48Z")
A small preemptive mod note- let’s be careful not to hijack this thread into a political discussion. There is certainly room for some dialog, but let’s not turn it into a pro-Trump/anti-Trump hijack. Thanks. > [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > This board is pretty hard on non-liberals, I can’t blame you. > > So in the interest of honest dialogue, what about Trump felt appealing? I have tried but I really can’t find anything about him that is appealing as president, but 63 million people found something they liked. > [@HurricaneDitka](#): > > As a non-liberal not-in-hiding (thus, not my secret, and I’d be delighted to hear this person’s answer to your question), the biggest thing for me was his list of potential Supreme Court nominees. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-secret-thread/791239.md?page=3)