# Another suggestion for speeding up the servers

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-suggestion-for-speeding-up-the-servers/196219>\
**Category:** About This Message Board\
**Created:** [August 19, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-suggestion-for-speeding-up-the-servers/196219 "2003-08-19T15:45:12Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![paperbackwriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@paperbackwriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperbackwriter)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-suggestion-for-speeding-up-the-servers/196219/1 "2003-08-19T15:45:12Z")

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Maybe we could look into replacing the hamsters with [the Great Gerbil](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3162743.stm). China evidently has quite a surplus, I’d bet they’d let us have them for shipping and handling:

> [@](#):
>
> Authorities are trying to combat the gerbils, not only by using poison, but also by breeding eagles to devour them.

And just look at these spec’s!

> [@](#):
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> Scientific name: Rhombomys opimus  
> Size: Up to 400mm [16"] long from head to tail  
> Highly social animals, usually living in large burrows  
> Communicate with quick, rapid foot thumping and high pitched whistling

Why they could even be trained to let **jdavis** know when to replace one. Imagine! A self-diagnosing, redundant, gerbil array! The SCMB would be the envy of all other message boards!

Or maybe not…😛

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**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_Two\_Brains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_Two\_Brains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_Two_Brains)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/another-suggestion-for-speeding-up-the-servers/196219/2 "2003-08-21T20:17:40Z")

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Not to be a spoilsport, but the last time we imported a batch of rodents we all got monkeypox.

And China is especially bad, because they misname animals.  
Their “lesser panda” is not a small bear, but a huge raccoon.  
You think cuddly bamboo eater, and get dumpster-diving pests escaping into every trailer park!