# Answer to Captain Kangaroo Song

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-to-captain-kangaroo-song/733720>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [October 6, 2015, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-to-captain-kangaroo-song/733720 "2015-10-06T15:16:19Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![truetolife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b2d939/32.png) [@truetolife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truetolife)\
**Post date:** [October 6, 2015, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-to-captain-kangaroo-song/733720/1 "2015-10-06T15:16:19Z")

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Happened to see the question on a previous thread. Here are the lyrics to The Ill Assorted Guard :

The ill assorted guard goes marching twice a day. They march with a rattle and a tootle and a boom in an ill assorted way. A sword, and a hammer and a hoe. A rake and a raggedy mop. A broom and a bat and a paper hat and a helmet with a feather on top. Now one is fat and one is thin. One goes out where the other goes in. One has rhythm. And one has none. And one is eating a cinnamon bun. They march on the avenue. They march on the boulevard. They march with a rattle and tootle and a boom, the ill assorted guard. The very fancy guard. The most unusual guard. The noble, fearless, resolute, remarkable, miscellaneous, utterly ill assorted guard!  
LOL. I memorized this song when I used to babysit my nephews back in the 60’s! Now I’m 62. Not a bad memory, right???

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**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\
**Post date:** [October 6, 2015, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-to-captain-kangaroo-song/733720/2 "2015-10-06T15:21:29Z")

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**truetolife** , welcome to the Straight Dope. Since this is about a TV show, it’s better suited to Cafe Society than About This Message Board. I’ll move it there.

Colibri  
Moderator

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**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [October 6, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-to-captain-kangaroo-song/733720/3 "2015-10-06T16:09:59Z")

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[Link to Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-Y1AFuKpKM). I’m also 62, but I barely remember it.

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**Author:** ![Lazygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f0a364/32.png) [@Lazygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazygirl)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-to-captain-kangaroo-song/733720/4 "2021-12-08T15:57:03Z")

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I’m even older, and I remember watching the musical on television. As far as I know, it appeared only one time, and I did not remember the name of the musical, only that it was some fairy tale.